Because of how I have been raised...I plan on keeping my name just the way it is...not even hyphenating. Why you ask? Because I feel like Im still my own person and a name dont matter, and I am a more independent woman in doing so....PLUS a man can ask for his name back if yall get divorced...and Ill be damned if that happens to me...And I will still feel like I am in control...
I feel like I define myself as a person, and I make myself unique. A name doesn't do that for me. There might be millions of people in the world with my last name, but none of them can possess my qualities. If I change my name tommorrow I'd still be the same person. Therefore I have no problem with taking my husband's last name. I use to think this way also, and since I was a little girl my father always told me to preserve the family's name, even if I get married. But now that I've really fallen in love with someone who I feel will possibly be my husband, I would love to take his last name. My boyfriend and I had a discussion about this and he told me he would be hurt if I didn't want to take his last name if we got married. And I kind of understood why and felt flattered. I have no problem with my man wanting to lay claim to me, in a loving and not dominating way ofcourse.
And if a name is not important to you then why would you "be damned" if say your future husband who you've taken the last name of, wants it back? I'd be like "Fuc* k him", give him his name back, and go on with my life.
My friends think Im crazy to actually wanting to have a seperate bank account along with the shared account with my husband. But as I see it, and been raised...be prepared for ANYTHING...and you gotta be prepared with ya own loot....cause Ill be damned If for some reason my husband leaves me for another woman, and Im begging him for some money cause everything is in HIS name...I wont be going out like that, and he wont have that control over me.
I DEFINETLY feel you on that!
Growing up my mom would make comments to me like " an INDEPENDENT woman knows how to keep her own last name " My mom's name is hyphenated. " You should be prepared for ANYTHING and not have to ever depend on no man for nothing. " She loves my father and respects him as a man....but alot of her mentality is like " I love you as my husband and want you in my life, but I dont need you. I woud be aight without you. " Even tho I do have issues with my mom, and I have a lot of respect for her in this respect....
What does keeping your maiden name in a marriage have to do with personal independence? My parents both do very well for themselves individually, and I believe that if God forbid, their marriage would come to an end, one would be financially alright without the other. And although my mother could definetly support herself, she took my father's last name, and that didn't make her less of an independent woman.
These are just a FEW of the reasons why I have issues with men and control...I just wanna be an indepenent wife who can be in control, and not be the submissive type where my man has to be the one making all the decisions and whatnot because he is a " man. "
Hopefully yall can see why I feel the way I do about this....but feedback is appreciated.
I've never been married, but from observing my parents, marriage shouldn't be about who has control and who doesn't. The importance of marriage is the love that you two share allowing you to work together. In other words, because you love each other, you both as husband and wife, should be submissive to each other, and respect each other's feelings in everything you both do. I would think that when I'm married, my future husband would consult me before he makes any kind of decision and I should do the same.
What in the world happened to:
Troop ("ALL I DO IS THINK OF YOU, DAY AND NIIIIIIGHT")
CeCe Peniston "Finally" was my jam.
Traci Spencer - I remember singing my 6 year old behind off to "Tender Kisses"
Keith Sweat (where the hell did he go?!)
Jerome - 7th grade "I belong to you" was the jam
Splakavellie (I think that was their name)
Does anyone remember this jam:
"It's like Romeo and Juliet
Hot sex on the platta just to get you wet".......That was my song, what happened to them?
What the HELL happened to Jshin:
"I can treat you betta than your man or your woman can"
I'm rooting for Yaya all the way. She's a strong, inteligent, and natural woman who isn't ashamed of her blackness. Now those 5 characteristics always intimidate people so I can understand why people may classify her as a bitch when it ain't the case. Yaya is been nothing but humble on the show, she ain't humble to the point where she's going to let someone play her for a fool, like Norelle.
She was on point when she called the judges out about setting her up with that raggedy fake African hat, and she was on point when she told Eva about herself last night.
I don't understand how people can look down on Yaya about her so called attitude but praise Eva. Eva has been the BITC* of the show SINCE THE BEGINNING. I can't wait unitil they give her the boot and send her ass packing. Ann and Norelle acting all shocked that Eva said what she said :roll: Please! She was two faced from the beginning and she still is, so I don't understand the surprise on their part :roll:
Ann been needed to go. I've been saying forever that she looks kind of masculine; so I was laughing my ass off when one of the judges called her, "Ann the Man" :lol:
The blind girl; why is she still there? if she can't even see the runway how the hell is she gonna be a top model? and she looks like an alien.
Norelle was so sweet, and she took pretty pictures but she was too timid. If she had a little bit of confidence in herself and self assurance, I believe she would have went farther.
The top 3 models that I think should have been there are Yaya, Cassie, and Norelle. But now I'm definetly rooting for Yaya.
I don't think 50 is THAT ugly. He has a sexy chocolate complexion, and a tight ass body! His face is a lttle tough and he ain't the handsomest but I think he can look decent. He was looking alright in the 21 questions video and that last video that he did with Joe in Miami.
Now Lloyd Banks.....I don't see it! :x His whole face looks bloated as hell!
I love my hair. I went natual about 6 years ago (in the 8th grade), and ofcourse it was hard but it was the best decision I've ever made for my hair. It's EXTREMELY thick. When I flat iron it (which I rarely do) or stretch it, my hair reaches my waist. When I don't manipulate it whatsoever it sits just below my shoulders. One thing that annoys me about my hair is washing and especially drying it. It takes sooooo long! I may change my hair color to a dark brown/black, cuz I've never liked my natural sandy brown hair color.
I mean damn, Beyonce and Kelly couldn't help her out? Stuck up heiffers :x I bet if Beyonce fell, the whole show would've stopped and everybody would've broke their kneck tryna help her on her toes. :x
I really don't see the big deal about Atlanta either. I don't hate it, it's just not that fun like people from there make it out to be, and I've lived there for 4 years. DC on the other hand, I hate that city with a passion! :x
Speaking of natural hair...I've been thinking of giving up perms and growing my hair out...not because I perfer one over the other...naww.. I perfer managable hair....
but perms have been breaking my hair off and I just want to go natural...now does anybody know anything about possible natural styles or a website that could show me maybe something I could do...cuz I just don't wanna be natural and out there....
WWW.Nappturality.com is a website for natural hair and it's very resourceful. You can browse natural hair albums, find a mentor or someone who can guide you through the process of going natural, get tips, and the whole messageboard is addictive. It has really helped me when I was so totally lost the first time I went natural. The website is down right now because of maintenance but it should be up and running again in a few days.
UHMMMMM Florida IS very country and is considered tha deep south!!!
And Texas is very southern and country too
It depends on which part of Florida you go to. North Florida IS country as hell. But South Florida (From Miami to West Palm Beach) is not all that country. Miami reminds me of a miniature New York, most of the population is of carribbean decent, then we have a LOT of people from New York who have moved down here. But nevertheless, we still represent the South