Home > Forums > Entertainment > Lyricist Lounge
Edit Settings  |  Search Forums
Through My Eyes Posted on 02-29-2008
jasielady

Hey everyone here!!! This is my first post in this forum. The piece is a short story that I am currently working on. Hope you all enjoy and feed back is greatly appreciated.
Through My Eyes By J. A. Harris
BUBUMP, BUBUMP, BUBUMP...My heart pounding like it was trying to break free from my chest. Standing outside of this large intimidating building making my body freeze, and my feet aren't receiving the message to run. Terrified is the best way to describe how I'm feeling. Focusing on all the horrible things I might face but not being able to wrap my mind around the good that may be in there waiting for me. You know... people say there is healing here; they say this is a place where a man can find peace. Peace? That's foreign to me, but I wouldn't mind having some. Really, at this point I'd do anything for just a little peace. Now all I gotta do is get myself in that... "Baby come on ova here an help me up dees steps," interupting my thoughts the older woman startled me. "I tell ya chile neva git ol! It seem like the ola I git da less dis here body wanna lisen ta me. So ya here foe service dis mornin. Ill'l bless ya." Standing about 4'9 the older woman seemed to be in perfect shape. She wore a peach suit with matching heels and her hair was in shoulder length silver curls. Looking at this woman kinda made me think of what my momma may have looked like as an older woman. "Yes. I heard bout dis service from a friend a mine," I answered still gazing at this woman who reminded me so much of who my momma could have been. With the question asked and the answer given I knew there were no more choices; I had to go in no matter how much I feared it. The inside was just as intimidating as the outside. I mean all the people looked so happy and were dressed so nice. What am I doing?! I could never belong here or any place like it! “ Chile, yaint consided in til ya body pass the thresh! Now bring ya tale aldway in,” the woman said walking in the building. “ I think I’ll come back some other time instead,” I whispered trying to get away before she noticed my absence. The woman turned around and gave that look only a mother really knew how to give. She reached for my hand and looked into my eyes. Then she said in a very soft tone, “ Darlin the man upstairs aint a respecta persons, so ya come on in wit me and erythin will be jis fine! I promise taint as bad as ya think.” Even though I didn’t know this woman she made me feel so safe, and I decided to go in because I believed this little frail woman could protect me.
  [Reply]
Page 1 of 1 1
Sister Tamara replied on 03-01-2008 12:16AM [Reply]
jasielady wrote:
Hey everyone here!!! This is my first post in this forum. The piece is a short story that I am currently working on. Hope you all enjoy and feed back is greatly appreciated.
Through My Eyes By J. A. Harris
BUBUMP, BUBUMP, BUBUMP...My heart pounding like it was trying to break free from my chest. Standing outside of this large intimidating building making my body freeze, and my feet aren't receiving the message to run. Terrified is the best way to describe how I'm feeling. Focusing on all the horrible things I might face but not being able to wrap my mind around the good that may be in there waiting for me. You know... people say there is healing here; they say this is a place where a man can find peace. Peace? That's foreign to me, but I wouldn't mind having some. Really, at this point I'd do anything for just a little peace. Now all I gotta do is get myself in that... "Baby come on ova here an help me up dees steps," interupting my thoughts the older woman startled me. "I tell ya chile neva git ol! It seem like the ola I git da less dis here body wanna lisen ta me. So ya here foe service dis mornin. Ill'l bless ya." Standing about 4'9 the older woman seemed to be in perfect shape. She wore a peach suit with matching heels and her hair was in shoulder length silver curls. Looking at this woman kinda made me think of what my momma may have looked like as an older woman. "Yes. I heard bout dis service from a friend a mine," I answered still gazing at this woman who reminded me so much of who my momma could have been. With the question asked and the answer given I knew there were no more choices; I had to go in no matter how much I feared it. The inside was just as intimidating as the outside. I mean all the people looked so happy and were dressed so nice. What am I doing?! I could never belong here or any place like it! “ Chile, yaint consided in til ya body pass the thresh! Now bring ya tale aldway in,” the woman said walking in the building. “ I think I’ll come back some other time instead,” I whispered trying to get away before she noticed my absence. The woman turned around and gave that look only a mother really knew how to give. She reached for my hand and looked into my eyes. Then she said in a very soft tone, “ Darlin the man upstairs aint a respecta persons, so ya come on in wit me and erythin will be jis fine! I promise taint as bad as ya think.” Even though I didn’t know this woman she made me feel so safe, and I decided to go in because I believed this little frail woman could protect me.
PRAISE THE LORD!!! I enjoyed reading this!!! Have you thought about giving it a different title???
  [Report Abuse] [Quote]
jasielady replied on 03-01-2008 01:54AM [Reply]
I actually have changed the title a few times. I can't make up my mind, but it will probably be a lot easier when I finish workin on it. O and thanks for the comment : ) !!
  [Report Abuse] [Quote]
Reply To Topic
In order to post a response to this topic, please login below or click here to signup.
Email Address:
Password:
Page 1 of 1 1
Home > Forums > Entertainment > Lyricist Lounge
Sponsored Content Create an Ad
Follow Us!
Link To Us!
Do you have a website? Link to HBCU Connect!