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Am I your Girlfriend or your Mother?? Am I controlling??? Posted on 08-05-2008
sabrinaashields17

I Always Said I would Never date anyone younger than me not matter what the Margin.. Im doing just that and have been for a year!!.. Wow I know right he's only a week older than me and Love him every much as U all can Tell but Sometimes I feel Like his Girlfriend and then there's other times I feel Like his Mother you know telling him what to do Phone Bills HOMEWORK,ect... and he actually LISTENS to me ( Maybe not the first time) I mean I can be crazy sometimes but most of the time Im cool headed and can tolerate him because He can be as STUBBORN as I am Then again We are under the same Zodiac!! Our relationship is sometimes Like Looking in the Mirror at each other, We have broken up before for only like 3 days so and once for like two weeks that didnt work either!! LOL In that Short Time Period we were apart I had Older Guys that Tried to talk to me but turned them ALL down! I am doing the Same thing Acting like his MOTHER and I dont even Realize IT. Dose this mean Im Controlling??
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smc112 replied on 08-06-2008 12:46AM [Reply]
sabrinaashields17 wrote:
there's other times I feel Like his Mother you know telling him what to do Phone Bills HOMEWORK,ect... and he actually LISTENS to me I am doing the Same thing Acting like his MOTHER and I dont even Realize IT. Dose this mean Im Controlling??
I'm going to tell you this bit of advice and it will help you when you become older. Men do not like for women to act like their mother. Men expect you to be a "girlfriend". You must learn your role in a relationship and not try to cross over into other areas. When you start doing motherly things, you will appear needy or desperate and men will get bored with you and they will run! Don't try to act like a man's wife until you actually become his wife. Most definitely, don't act motherly. Don't try to correct him, clean up after him, or pick up his dry cleaning. In other words, refrain from doing motherly or wifely things until you actually get a ring on your finger. I know you are young right now, but when you get older this advice will help. I know of some women who are in their 30's and single because they crossed over into areas they shouldn't have. While men are dating you, they expect you to be a girlfriend and nothing more than that. Always remember your place!
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replied on 08-06-2008 10:23AM [Reply]
First age has nothing to do with the level of maturity. My fiancee' is three years younger than I. Yet because of his life experiences, he is more mature and self aware in some areas than I am. You should want a relationship that complimentary-a partnership. You should want to learn from each other. However if he is not covering the basics on his own (taking care of his bills, homework etc) then you may need to re-examine the situation. Its a difference between dating a young man and a boy.
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sabrinaashields17 replied on 08-06-2008 11:25AM [Reply]
smc112 wrote:
I'm going to tell you this bit of advice and it will help you when you become older. Men do not like for women to act like their mother. Men expect you to be a "girlfriend". You must learn your role in a relationship and not try to cross over into other areas. When you start doing motherly things, you will appear needy or desperate and men will get bored with you and they will run! Don't try to act like a man's wife until you actually become his wife. Most definitely, don't act motherly. Don't try to correct him, clean up after him, or pick up his dry cleaning. In other words, refrain from doing motherly or wifely things until you actually get a ring on your finger. I know you are young right now, but when you get older this advice will help. I know of some women who are in their 30's and single because they crossed over into areas they shouldn't have. While men are dating you, they expect you to be a girlfriend and nothing more than that. Always remember your place!
WOW Thanks For the advice I'll have to keep that in mind and I'll try to tone it down a bit I dont wanna be 30 and single not a good look! Thanks again for the advice Im sure I be refering back to this from time to time...
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sabrinaashields17 replied on 08-06-2008 11:30AM [Reply]
konvinceme wrote:
First age has nothing to do with the level of maturity. My fiancee' is three years younger than I. Yet because of his life experiences, he is more mature and self aware in some areas than I am. You should want a relationship that complimentary-a partnership. You should want to learn from each other. However if he is not covering the basics on his own (taking care of his bills, homework etc) then you may need to re-examine the situation. Its a difference between dating a young man and a boy.
There is a truth to that one he is more mature in some areas than I am.. he's seen alot more than I have or so I think.. We work very well together as far as a Partnership we Like alot of the same things its just that I dont like to be wrong and he dosent like to be wrong!! But with all that said we do love each other very much
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replied on 08-06-2008 02:49PM [Reply]
sabrinaashields17 wrote:
There is a truth to that one he is more mature in some areas than I am.. he's seen alot more than I have or so I think.. We work very well together as far as a Partnership we Like alot of the same things its just that I dont like to be wrong and he dosent like to be wrong!! But with all that said we do love each other very much
Its good to like a lot of the same things but that is not a significant reason to be in a relationship. Its not about who is right or wrong- its about coming together to resolve the issue at hand. Its nothing bad about being wrong. It is bad to not admit when you are wrong and own up to mistakes. I learned from determining what is really important to me in having a mate. You got to figure out the things you can compromise on and deal with as oppose to "deal breakers". Deal breakers for me are things like dishonesty and cheating. Having a child used to be one of them. But I learned through time that having a child can come from different situations. My fiancee is a divorcee'- he had a child in marriage and he caught his ex-wife in bed with another man. Not the typical baby-momma situation. You will figure it out in time.
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sabrinaashields17 replied on 08-06-2008 04:06PM [Reply]
konvinceme wrote:
Its good to like a lot of the same things but that is not a significant reason to be in a relationship. Its not about who is right or wrong- its about coming together to resolve the issue at hand. Its nothing bad about being wrong. It is bad to not admit when you are wrong and own up to mistakes. I learned from determining what is really important to me in having a mate. You got to figure out the things you can compromise on and deal with as oppose to "deal breakers". Deal breakers for me are things like dishonesty and cheating. Having a child used to be one of them. But I learned through time that having a child can come from different situations. My fiancee is a divorcee'- he had a child in marriage and he caught his ex-wife in bed with another man. Not the typical baby-momma situation. You will figure it out in time.
Awww...Mannnn!! YOU Make ME sound so Youthful well I am but thats cool ... This subject matter is very important to me because I really dont want to end up loosing him over my Bad habits and always taking an adamant postion in what I think is right.. that could be a possible Deal Breaker on my part as you were saying .. We have a understanding of one another I mean At least one thing I Know I do is Listen to Him I try to open myself up to his innovative Ideas example I support his DJ career but whenever he ask for my input on a song that I may not like that much I'll say something like its ok or I'll just be honest and say I dont really like it that much as the others you know.. he'll be like ok and act like he's not Mad but he'll be in the studio ALL night Trying to Fix IT!! I tell him it dosent matter what i think LOL and we always try to do things on a schedule he may want to do Like Go to a game one weekend and Ill we'll go shopping the next weekend then He may want to hang with his friends and thats cool with me Im Not Gonna Call him every 5 minutes thats not cool..
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NeoSoulBrotha replied on 08-06-2008 04:36PM [Reply]
If you are both comfortable with each other, more power to you... I hope it works out for you. It's good that you respect each other's opinion and support... that is healthy in a relationship. One word of advice... if you become too controlling one of two things will eventually happen. 1. He will grow to resent you for crowding his space, or... 2. He will become dependent on you. Know when to let your man be a man. That is a sign of maturity, and is very respected by men who recognize that quality in their woman.
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sabrinaashields17 replied on 08-06-2008 04:49PM [Reply]
NeoSoulBrotha wrote:
If you are both comfortable with each other, more power to you... I hope it works out for you. It's good that you respect each other's opinion and support... that is healthy in a relationship. One word of advice... if you become too controlling one of two things will eventually happen. 1. He will grow to resent you for crowding his space, or... 2. He will become dependent on you. Know when to let your man be a man. That is a sign of maturity, and is very respected by men who recognize that quality in their woman.
Thank you Very much the Support of my Relationship.. thanks for the advice and Also I see you from b-more soo shouts to brightion street and popular grove..
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replied on 08-06-2008 06:42PM [Reply]
sabrinaashields17 wrote:
Awww...Mannnn!! YOU Make ME sound so Youthful well I am but thats cool ... This subject matter is very important to me because I really dont want to end up loosing him over my Bad habits and always taking an adamant postion in what I think is right.. that could be a possible Deal Breaker on my part as you were saying .. We have a understanding of one another I mean At least one thing I Know I do is Listen to Him I try to open myself up to his innovative Ideas example I support his DJ career but whenever he ask for my input on a song that I may not like that much I'll say something like its ok or I'll just be honest and say I dont really like it that much as the others you know.. he'll be like ok and act like he's not Mad but he'll be in the studio ALL night Trying to Fix IT!! I tell him it dosent matter what i think LOL and we always try to do things on a schedule he may want to do Like Go to a game one weekend and Ill we'll go shopping the next weekend then He may want to hang with his friends and thats cool with me Im Not Gonna Call him every 5 minutes thats not cool..
Honey youth aint a bad thing lol. Enjoy it, make mistakes that you can survive and learn from them lol. I have grown so much in the last year in a half it is ridiculous, believe me. I was stubborn, self-centered, quick to snap, call it quits and leave everybody in the dust lol. But I have learned to chose my battles, pray (because the outcome is not up to me) and be observant. I have a 20 year old niece in nursing school and we have the same talks. She thinks relationships should be like what you see in the movies or on tv. I told her that tv and movies are only about an hour of your life....you know other things happen after that lol. Enjoy it all now because when life hits yah (Im in school full time, working part time and have a part time internship- he works two full time jobs) your relationships are tested. Our next date is gonna be at my school library because I have to some things in order for classes lol.
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