BabyGyrl wrote:

I am sure that we all have been through this before: Have you ever gotten involved with a guy, initlally because of sexual attraction, only to end up liking the guy, who doesn't want to settle? I have known this dude for little over a year. He and I are pretty good friends and we work together. Our relationship kinda started off as sexual and that was fine with me, until I started to like him. He has been there for me whenever I needed him and I am very comfortable around him. I have never liked someone as much as I have liked him and with his lifestyle (which includes being, I guess, a 'womanizer' and putting money before all other things and not wanting to settle down). He is a little older than me, but that doesn't make much of a difference to me (only three years: I am going to 22 this Thursday, and he'll be 25 this December). My whole problem with him is that I think he only tells me what he thinks I want to hear so that I can stay around. Once, when I tried to end things with him, he started telling me that he really likes me and that he wants to spend time with me, and yada, yada, yada. If all of that were true, then why does he has so many female friends ?(most of them call our job to speak to him, but I try not to assume anything you know) . He tells me all of these things, but then it's like his actions don't show. We used to chill all the time, but now it's only when he wants to. I feel myself falling more and more for this a**hole and no matter how much I try to distance myself away from him, working with him just brings me back. I don't know what to do. Well,....I know the best thing for me to do is let the whole situation go, but he told me just last week that when he is ready to settle down, that I would be the one on his mind to do that with and that I am wifey material. I don't know if I should just like him, yet show him that he isn't the only person that I could be with, or just let the whole situation go. We have gone through a lot in our friendship, and I'm not looking for marriage, but I do like him a lot because I see how sweet he can be and I enjoy being around him. I hate never being able to get the guy that I want. I am not trying to change him, and I have been nothing but patient with him. What should I do??? :sad:

MissJazzyAKA wrote:

I think deep down inside you know that this is not the type of guy that will make you happy.

Blutifully Human wrote:

MissJazzyAKA wrote:

I think deep down inside you know that this is not the type of guy that will make you happy.

indeed. Becuz if he was the right one for u, u wouldn't even be questioning it. Don't settle for less than u are worth hun. Hey may talk real smooth, but if his actions doesn't back up his words, then they are meaningless. A lil attention and affection is not worth a jaded heart.

Blutifully Human wrote:

MissJazzyAKA wrote:

I think deep down inside you know that this is not the type of guy that will make you happy.

indeed. Becuz if he was the right one for u, u wouldn't even be questioning it. Don't settle for less than u are worth hun. Hey may talk real smooth, but if his actions doesn't back up his words, then they are meaningless. A lil attention and affection is not worth a jaded heart.

Wisdom_Tree wrote:

Unique, and yet not quite so... Some will say that this is the classic case of "He's just not that into you" while others will most definitely think that he is either confused or stringing you along. As SOON as you said the relationship started off with sex I knew something was going to be complicated. For future reference, no matter how good the sex is, you should NEVER start out (even within a few months) having sex with someone. Its not enough time to know them, and sex is too intimate for strangers. <---Remember that. But you know him; or you say you do. On one hand you say hes a player and is concerned about money, yet you believe him when he says he will settle down. Look at him for what he is - bad AND good - and ask yourself why youre so attracted. Do you want the monogamous him? The player him? Are you afraid you wont like him as much if he becomes a good guy? You shouldn't feel bad if the answer is yes, because we all like different kinds of people (even if liking an asshole is just being a glutton for punishment). How many conversations have you had with him about his future and his feelings? When you know what someone plans to do and how they feel, you can better navigate yourself through their scope and have a better relationship. I dont think youd be able to tell me if he definitely feels the way you feel, because all of those "friends" that call his job might be just another reflection of what he's doing to you. Thats a very antagonistic view at it, but even at best he is still conversing with what seems to you as way too many women. The best way to handle this situation is to Get Some Motherfrackin Clarity because, and everyone can quote me on this one, "Trifling men operate in gray areas." All of that "Oh, I didnt know" crap is an excuse and the more you know, the better off youll be. Whether he really does like you or is screwing around, you need to know. If you come back with a, "He's not being definite" post, then its more likely that he is stringing you along. If you really like someone you dont leave them guessing, and itd be nice if you told him if you didnt appreciate it. Unless you do. *speaks no more*

Thunderstruck wrote:

You like the player type? This will solve your problem. Go to a store, buy a handgun, load it, and blow your fucking brains out. Because that is the direction you are headed...and endless amount of heartbreaks.

Wisdom_Tree wrote:

Unique, and yet not quite so... Some will say that this is the classic case of "He's just not that into you" while others will most definitely think that he is either confused or stringing you along. As SOON as you said the relationship started off with sex I knew something was going to be complicated. For future reference, no matter how good the sex is, you should NEVER start out (even within a few months) having sex with someone. Its not enough time to know them, and sex is too intimate for strangers. <---Remember that. But you know him; or you say you do. On one hand you say hes a player and is concerned about money, yet you believe him when he says he will settle down. Look at him for what he is - bad AND good - and ask yourself why youre so attracted. Do you want the monogamous him? The player him? Are you afraid you wont like him as much if he becomes a good guy? You shouldn't feel bad if the answer is yes, because we all like different kinds of people (even if liking an asshole is just being a glutton for punishment). How many conversations have you had with him about his future and his feelings? When you know what someone plans to do and how they feel, you can better navigate yourself through their scope and have a better relationship. I dont think youd be able to tell me if he definitely feels the way you feel, because all of those "friends" that call his job might be just another reflection of what he's doing to you. Thats a very antagonistic view at it, but even at best he is still conversing with what seems to you as way too many women. The best way to handle this situation is to Get Some Motherfrackin Clarity because, and everyone can quote me on this one, "Trifling men operate in gray areas." All of that "Oh, I didnt know" crap is an excuse and the more you know, the better off youll be. Whether he really does like you or is screwing around, you need to know. If you come back with a, "He's not being definite" post, then its more likely that he is stringing you along. If you really like someone you dont leave them guessing, and itd be nice if you told him if you didnt appreciate it. Unless you do. *speaks no more*