Do you believe in having an "Open Relationship"? (1448 hits)
I hear this phrase so much these days. Is it really a good thing to share another person with the person you are in a relationship with? Or is this for self-gratification?
I found this topic on a site I came across
She Said: Can Open Relationships Work?
Posted by Kay Sea
Okay ladies, we've all had that conversation with our men about inviting another woman into the bedroom for some menagè trois action. While some of us are willing to take the plunge, and maybe even have a potential third party in mind, many of us shutter at the thought of sharing our men.
On one hand, maybe an open relationship has its perks. If you invite another women to your bed then this means your man will never cheat, right? This is not to be mistaken as a con to engage in freakish encounters to buffer your guy's cheating ways, but rather a way to explore sexual fantasies together as a couple. But these scenarios tend to get a little tricky when either you or your man begin to rendezvous with the outsider without warning, then suddenly it becomes cheating.
On the other end of extremes, some couples think it's healthy to swing around and couldn't be happier in their relationship. The premise of the sexually open arrangements is most often the "unnatural" rules of monogamy. Maybe the most puzzling piece of all, is most open couples have long-lasting relationships and are more than in love with their partner.
What's the magic, communication? Clearly no one should even dare dive into this type of venture if the communication isn't solid to begin with, but if it is, could it work? If you decide to give it a go, is this a one time engagement or have you forever opened pandora's box?
LiveSteez sat with a group of women and asked, can an open relationship work?
Oh you've opened the damn box! My mother always said "don't start shit you ain't willing to continue," and it's true! If you start messing around with other women with your man, you think that one time is going to be enough to satisfy his greedy ass? No! He going to want different women who do different shit, the freakier the better. Y'all gon' learn, messing with marriage. One is enough and two is too much. -Karen, 29, Stylist
It really depends on the people's personalities. Most of us are not secure enough for that kind of relationship, we're just trained to accept that. We're [women] trained by society to be monogamous. I think it could work with a lot of communication, but keep in mind that most of us are poor communicators. For the majority of Americans in particular, I would say no. -Dana, 33, Teacher
I would say yes. I think an open relationship can work if boundaries are set and communication is clear about expectations. When I was 20, I had a polygamous relationship, and it was one of my greatest, but I chose to leave. However, the two remained together and have been married for 8 years now and we're all still really good friends. So yes, these set ups can work. -Liza, 30, Psychologist
I don't know. That's a tough call. Not to say that I am desperate enough to do what it takes to keep a man, but what you won't do somebody else will. I just think in order for an open relationship to work the two people should have similar beliefs, in terms of stringency. If you're one of those people who's cool with your man doing his thing from time to time, and you have the clearance to do your own thing too then that's a perfect match. But you can't have a swinger and a monogamous person in one couple, it's bound for disaster. Yea, being "open" is not for me personally, but I do think it could work, but with the right people. -Farrah, 25, Entrepreneur
This is an old concept, very much what polygamist base their relationships on. Of course, it's one-sided in that the open part is his. He can marry several different women but each woman is dedicated only to him. Ain't that something/ And then, too, swingers base their relationships on this, be they married or unmarried. As long as they both consent to the partners usually, they SUPER open...no pun intended!!!!
To answer your question, no, I do not believe in 'open' relationships. I think to say one is 'committed' in an 'open' relationship is oxymoronic. If it's 'open', it's not really a relationship. It a 'friends with benefits' kinda thing. And frankly, if a man is sharing a woman or a woman is sharing a man, they can't really call themselves 'together'.
When a man or woman asks for an "open relationship" what they are really saying, loud and clear, is that, "I'm just not that into you."