Ask Coach J Shares 5 Practical Tips to Staying Focus: The Balancing Act of a Mother, Student, & Wife! (590 hits)
Question: I am a stay at home mom taking courses online at the University of Phoenix. It has been several years since I have taken classes and I am overwhelmed. Although my classes are available any time of the day I still find it difficult to juggle being a mom, a wife, and a student. It is important for me to obtain my Bachelorís degree as I am starting a new career in Human Resources next year when my son begins kindergarten. I know I can do this, but I am finding it difficult to balance and stay focus. Could you share with me tips to staying focus and maintaining momentum?
Coach J Response:
I applaud you for taking charge of your life and deciding to pursue a degree to elevate you in your career. There are added challenges that you must overcome, especially when there are additional parties that must be considered such as your family schedule, your time, and many of other decisions. Therefore, in this situation it will require you to do some additional planning. The kind of planning that will afford you space to study, think, and perform the necessary duties to achieve results in class and out. I am certain you are already finding that non-traditional circumstances such as online course may be more demanding than the traditional classroom setting. Online classes force you to plan, prepare, and position yourself. It is very easy to avoid assignments because you don't have a designated class period. Many online courses require daily post, group assignments, and weekly test. This too can be added stress. I don't want to scare you or have you thinking you did not make the right decision. It is important for you to understand that it may not be your focus, but factors that are making you feel the struggle. Once you analyze the factors you will have a better understanding of how you should focus and prepare.
There are 5 Practical Tips to Staying FOCUS that I would like to share with you.
1. Forgive Yourself: You may be saying I wish I had done all of this before I got married. If only I had planned a little better. I should have made better decisions about my career. Listen, if any of these statements or thoughts have come across your mind I ask that you release them. Forgive yourself of past decisions, poor planning, or any resentment you may have. By forgiving yourself you will be able to allow peace to enter your mind, body, and soul. This peace will allow a clearer thought process for progress. When you forgive a friend you are freeing yourself of any past mistakes, misdoings, or bad feelings you may have towards them. This same forgiveness is necessary to restore faith within yourself and future decisions.
2. Operate fully in the now: It is necessary to stay focus upon today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but the time you currently have. You are only responsible for the decisions you make at this moment. If you were to decide to dwell in the past, you will not be able to work towards your future. Operating in the now gives you the opportunity to begin to assess where you are currently. It truly liberates your being and allows you to concentrate on what is in front of you. By continuing to focus on the past you will experience lost opportunities and miscommunication from the soul. It is important to operate fully in today and allow time to be still as you fulfill your responsibilities.
3. Control your actions: You are responsible for the response you give to the outcomes you incur. If you missed out on an assignment, a goal, or a promise you must decide how you will respond. Will you speak negative words to the situation by saying, "I never get things done", "I am a failure", "I don't know why I even bothered." You must decide your actions to the situation. In return, you discover the greatness that you have to offer to the situation. "I did my best", "I am working towards my dreams", and ďUpon completing this I will." Always watch your response to what seems like lack of focus. As long as you are responsible for your actions the inactions of others, your temporary loss of time, or anything keeping you from progress will align with your response.
4. Understand that you are not perfect: The ultimate goal is not to strive for perfection; it is to strive for results. Don't spend your time trying to be perfect. That is such a time waster. Erasing paragraphs, re-starting assignments, or studying countless hours will not give you back time or an A. Being prepared, thinking ahead, and doing your best are expected. Yes, it would be great to receive the award of the year "Straight A Mom", or "Best House Keeper", "Best Wife of the Year." Your son only knows you as being the best mom, your husband hasn't left you, and your school work will get completed. Don't spend your day trying to be all to all. Do your best, put your best foot forward, and forget about making your dissertation. You are perfect just the way you are.
5. Stay the Course: You may at this point feel as though you can't move forward. That taking courses is the worse choice ever. You may think that you can't possibly maintain a household or anything else at this point. Yes, you may at times get discouraged, but I encourage you to press forward. The road may become rocky, there may be times of uncertainty, and annoyances in the household; allow these times to be your fuel to greatness. Stay the course, stay focus, and know that the reality of the situation is that you can do all things.
Here's to your success! Remember to always "Ignite the Drive Within You."
Speaking of staying the course, join me in the 7 Days of Greatness Challenge at