Aiight here's the scenario:
I... ahem... i mean MY FRIEND has been cool with this one girl since fall semester freshmen year. Ou... THEIR relationship grew fairly quickly and w... THEY ended up being really tight friends on some brother/sister stuff. Lately, he's been coppin feelings (yea yea she got me... um HIM :oops but he's tryin to ignore them for fear of ruining the relationship they have right now. Plus she's on the tip where she says she'll never be in a intimate relationship with her best friend for the same reasons (which I understand). She looks at him like a brother now, and he did look at her as a sister but when certain thoughts popped in his head, figured that was nasty and not a good idea lol... :lol:
Now after all of this is said in done I.. HE's not trying to be up in his room singing HalfCrazy up in his room by himself because ish didn't work out. What are ya'll thoughts on hooking up with a friend and what do you think I... um HE should do... :wink:
Pursue or not to Pursue... that is the question...
^^^well now that the magical happy man from happyland is finished, I'm gonna be real. if she says she ain't gon' be feelin' you-I mean "him" then you should just let it burn, bruh. Cuz in all reality if you try to pursue it, and she ain't bitin', then ain't gon' be nothin' but awkwardness, and you may end up feelin' resentful like I-er my friend did in the exact same situation....just my feelins on the subject
^Yo good look, all the stuff u mentioned went through my mind... what about the ladies... i noticed that guys usually have the same perspecitve on this, but it differs with ya'll which is why I posted it in this forum, what do ya'll think?
But in addition, you can play the awKward feelings off as if you were just playing around with her, and she'll leave it at that. If by any chance she really is or does feel uncomfortable with your actions or what you say, she will inform you in some way...
and why aren't the ladies responding??? Sheeeeeesh yall are some help!
well i have a friend that i go through that with..one minute one of us is feeling the other one but one of isnt and the next minute we're back to being very close friends......truthfully its hard to tell u what u should do on this....but if it were me i would think if we were really tight then u would come to me with it and let me know what u feeling.....also let her know that you care about ur friendship just as much and wouldnt want to damage it....
I honestly won't even GO there w/ a man if he isnt' my freind on some level. I think that friendship is an important aspect in any relationship. I've been in plently of relationships that didn't last, they were like my brother before it happened. And because the freindship was so strong that after the awkwardness passed, we were right back on that level. With freinds being freinds again after a romantic relationship passes, they should have enough trust and love for that person to make the freindship work like it should. That's if they were close enough in the first place .
My best friend is a dude, and he went through the same thing, but what he did was just say little things playfully just to see how I would respond. Like, at that time we had a third best friend, and when he'd be talkin to us about his problems with his girlfriend, my best friend would say something like "if we were together we wouldn't never have to worry about nothin like that." Then I would say something like "U right, but I wouldn't even mess up our friendship like that." If u throw the hints she'll pick up on it let u know the deal.
BTW: That third best friend is no longer a best friend, but just a close friend, because he is now an ex-boyfriend.
See what I meant by that was even tho me and her do what we do, and still maintain that Bro-Sis bond with no eXchange of emotions is mainly due to the fact that neither of us really wants to give in (or admit) to what we truely feel for each other. We have been friends for a very good amount of time, and tell each other everything without censor. And for us to put a cap on it and labeling it "Boyfriend-GirlFriend" it would nip a whole lot in the bud and put limits on a few things. That's why I said it was US being US, cuz me and her do what we do how we do it
But basically, what I said what similar to what you said eXcept me and my Friend have no need to discuss our feelings for each other because it is what it is. She Knows no matter what, I am going to be there and that is on the strength of me being a good friend.
okay, Okay, brother ReDD HarLeM DeViLL, u came back strong :!:
I really have to say what u posted last, I can undertand "how u do" [that makes me think of this Dave Chapplle episode when he was that crack head....oh, sorry I tend to get off topic]
To be honest brother, maybe I should start your approach and stop all revealing of the love feelings. Because we communicate but he ususally feels a lil weird w/ us sharing and talking about "feelings" a lilttle too much. And truth be told me too-its getting old....I love that friendly/best friends/about to hit on u flirting feeling.....yes, if we continue that is what we should bring back.
Damn, Good Luck to me [and to the brother that put out the post]
~Hershee3d
I appreciate all of the above comments. It was pretty interested in seeing what others had to say when it came to this kind of situation because I knew that I wasn't the only one going through it or who has gone through it. It **** because its a gamble and I really don't want to ruin a good friendship over it but I've seen how she's done other cats who've tried the same thing, but their relationship wasn't quite like ours (not even close to be honest). I don't have to worry about it for a while because she's not going to be their next semester so i have some time to sit and think about it which is cool.
Any other comments?