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For the love of all that is holy, please explain (UPDATE) Posted on 06-01-2004
SuperFly

Okay, here's the scenario (I'd only read this if you have a nice chunk of time on your hands :roll: ): Way back in my freshman year, I met this young lady on MiGente.com. We started talking like everyday and got really close. When we were first conversing, she had a boyfriend, so I was only talking to her, because I enjoyed the conversation. She's a very intelligent young lady, and never fails to make me think every time that I talk to her. Over the course of time, her boyfriend began treating her badly, and that's when we actually started getting close. She started opening up to me a whole lot more than she used to. I did the same as well By the time Spring Break rolled around that year, we had plans to meet each other. I had no idea what she looked like, I just knew that she was a sweet person, and I wanted to at least spend some time with her. When she showed me a picture of herself the day before I was going to meet her (she goes to school in another city about an hour away), I was totally caught off guard. She was black! She goes a school where there's all of 30 black students (its a private girls' school), and she actually talked intelligently. From the moment that I first met her in person, she'd changed the way that I looked at women. She was the exact opposite from what I thought I wanted (light skin, long, natural hair). She was brown skinned, with braids, and she even had fake coloured contacts. But somehow she was the most gorgeous thing that I'd ever laid eyes on. So we met and went out, and after that we started getting closer. That summer, since we wouldn't be able to talk to each other on a regular basis (I was going to summer school and she was working and going to summer school in her home state), we decided that we'd write to each other. For her birthday, I sent her a little stuffed puppy and I burned some CDs that she wanted. When she got the puppy, she was thrilled. No one else had gotten her anything. So she named him and gave him a loving home. To make a long story short, up until now, I grew to have feelings for her. Through all of the times that she was happy and sad, I'd been there for her. I'd gotten to know her. This was the girl that had singlehandedly changed the way that I saw women. But there was a problem. I had to call her, but she wouldn't call me. I had to come and visit her, but Greensboro was too far for her to drive. Everytime I asked about us being more, she only dodged the question. So I stopped. I'd decided that I wasn't chasing after anyone. Especially people that can't call or visit or answer my questions. I don't care if she wasn't as privilaged as I and maybe couldn't afford to do it. Fast forward to this afternoon. I'm at work and I sign on to AOL, and shortly after, she pops up, and says something about how I haven't spoken to her in so long even thought the phone and the IM screen goes both ways as well. I haven't talked to her since Christmas Eve, and I thought that maybe she was trying to avoid me or something of the like. Come to find out, she has a good reason to have not said anything in so long. She's been going through hard times lately. Her father had been sick since about the time that I met her. Over the past couple of months, she's actually had to make the decision to pull the plug on oher father as well as take on all of his financial obligations and other things that come with someone's death. However, through this whole time, she's had the letters that I wrote her posted on some bulliten boards that were on her wall. They covered both of them. She's also had the puppy that I gave her where she can always keep her eyes on him. The whole time that I though maybe she didn't care about me anymore, she actually ended up thinking about me constantly. She had no choice, I was right there the whole time. I don't know what to do, I'm confused as hell because at the moment women **** me off, and I can't help but forgive her, because I care about her just that much. What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
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replied on 06-02-2004 08:31PM [Reply]
::coughthas the only time u'll see me on my knees for u...cough:: So how r ya?
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SuperFly replied on 06-02-2004 08:41PM [Reply]
MissGina10 wrote:
::coughthas the only time u'll see me on my knees for u...cough:: So how r ya?
:twisted: .... I'm still quite irritated... but fine... :evil:
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SuperFly replied on 06-02-2004 08:53PM [Reply]
MissGina10 wrote:
AggieHighlander wrote:
MissGina10 wrote:
::coughthas the only time u'll see me on my knees for u...cough:: So how r ya?
:twisted: .... I'm still quite irritated... but fine... :evil:
u'll be oooooooookay
Maybe :roll:
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Slim GoodyN757 replied on 06-02-2004 08:53PM [Reply]
MissGina10 wrote:
AggieHighlander wrote:
MissGina10 wrote:
::coughthas the only time u'll see me on my knees for u...cough:: So how r ya?
:twisted: .... I'm still quite irritated... but fine... :evil:
u'll be oooooooookay
yall are too funny
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SuperFly replied on 06-03-2004 06:08PM [Reply]
I know she's been through a lot. But I'm tired of taking all the chances. But before I'm willing to take any more chances. Any other time, she'd be blunt about things. But with this, she won't let her guard down. Yeah, she's been hurt before. But she knows she's got no reason to be afraid of me. Now I have to almost start over again, because she seems afraid to talk to me, like I'm going to be mad at her for the rest of her life. Quite frankly I am mad. But I don't mind forgiving her. Inside she knows she doesn't have to be afraid of me. I'm not chasing after her if she already knows the way things are. Maybe my feelings for her have died down quite a bit. But when I talk to her, I still see why I care about her to begin with. I'm not putting all the work into this anymore, to onl come out with "Maybe" or "You don't want me... I'm not good enough for you." I have other things to worry about... :roll:
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starsuga82 replied on 06-04-2004 01:59AM [Reply]
I'm so sorry, I'm a sucker for love that is Awwww Well you know what happen to her so I guess the choice is yours to continue to talk to her. God Bless
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starsuga82 replied on 06-04-2004 02:16AM [Reply]
AggieHighlander wrote:
I know she's been through a lot. But I'm tired of taking all the chances. But before I'm willing to take any more chances. Any other time, she'd be blunt about things. But with this, she won't let her guard down. Yeah, she's been hurt before. But she knows she's got no reason to be afraid of me. Now I have to almost start over again, because she seems afraid to talk to me, like I'm going to be mad at her for the rest of her life. Quite frankly I am mad. But I don't mind forgiving her. Inside she knows she doesn't have to be afraid of me. I'm not chasing after her if she already knows the way things are. Maybe my feelings for her have died down quite a bit. But when I talk to her, I still see why I care about her to begin with. I'm not putting all the work into this anymore, to onl come out with "Maybe" or "You don't want me... I'm not good enough for you." I have other things to worry about... :roll:
One thing I notice is that you always have these excuses ready. Well, maybe she doesn't know. ...Maybe you just think she knows how you truly feel. Man just be real with her. I feel like women are more willing to put their heart out on a line and have it broken just to go and do it (put their hearts out) all over again. I mean why do you think women are always complaining about men being dogs and players? Because the men they dealt with were the ones who got there hearts broken ONCE and from then on they decided to be PIMPS :roll: (Whatever) It's just and bad cycle! :x Just try again and if she can't be real with you maybe ya'll just need to be friends. :o
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lostsquishy replied on 06-04-2004 11:40AM [Reply]
*In tears* Mannnn, go get her please...marry her or something...Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there because if you don't you're gonna always wonder what if....That really made me cry...
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SuperFly replied on 06-04-2004 02:44PM [Reply]
reabea82 wrote:
One thing I notice is that you always have these excuses ready. Well, maybe she doesn't know. ...Maybe you just think she knows how you truly feel. Man just be real with her. I feel like women are more willing to put their heart out on a line and have it broken just to go and do it (put their hearts out) all over again. I mean why do you think women are always complaining about men being dogs and players? Because the men they dealt with were the ones who got there hearts broken ONCE and from then on they decided to be PIMPS :roll: (Whatever) It's just and bad cycle! :x Just try again and if she can't be real with you maybe ya'll just need to be friends. :o
I have something ready because I've thought about this ever since I got done talking with her that day. So maybe she does have reason to be questionable because she's not called me in SIX MONTHS... But at the same time, if I didn't at least still care about her, I'd have told her to **** off and she does know that. She also knows I'm not every other guy, from experience.
Ultra Squish wrote:
*In tears* Mannnn, go get her please...marry her or something...Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there because if you don't you're gonna always wonder what if....That really made me cry...
I'm sorry to make you cry Whit. But I can't justify going after her right now. I'd already put myself out there before all this happened. Numerous times. But I'm not doing it anymore unless I'm sure that I'll get an answer. Right now, I'm not sure that's what will happen. Like I said before, I'm tired of putting in the effort between the two of us. Somethin's gonna give dammit... :roll: I'm really thankful for everyone's input though. Thanks a whole lot.
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replied on 06-04-2004 04:45PM [Reply]
OH MY GOD HE HAS A HEART!!! I knew it was in there somewhere. Stop being an a$$ and get ya girl! U know me straight to the point.... Be happy for a change and get something going with this girl!
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