Hi, this is mostly directed those who are already greek-affliated but I appreciate anyone's replies. OK...how would you feel about an interest that "formally expressed" and all and was sort of taken under your wing as far as knowing the "IG do's and don'ts" so to speak. You vouch for her as a good candidate to your chapter and she (or he for the fraternity members) is very qualified but although she has done all the "pre-reqs" when rush comes around she doesn't go . That is sort of the situation I am in. From a young age, I had taken an interest in an organization. As a freshman, I thought I was ready to pursue membership into the organization I am interested in and I expressed interest and did everything I felt was necessary to secure my spot (sometimes getting too engrossed). Well, I am now finishing my sophomore year and the org. of my choice had spring intake but at the last minute I decided not to go because I just didn't feel "ready". Well of course, a few of the girls I was "IG"ing with made it and told me that a few of their prophytes feel like I disappointed them and wasted their time by not applying because time they spent on me could have been spent on someone else who WAS "ready" so that is making them think twice about vouching/voting/"paying attention AT ALL" to me come next year when I feel I will be more mature physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I have a good GPA, do community service, and am active on campus and will continue to do so but some think I have sort of "black-balled" myself. How would you, as a greek, feel about giving me "another chance" per say?
Also, I am at a very small school where those interested and more importantly those qualified is next to nothing and chapters have to try very hard to stay active (I edited the last part because I don't want people to misinterpret, I'm not implying that I "know for a fact" I would have made it, I was just confident in my credentials and saw myself as a positive asset to the organization and some of those in the chapter believed also.)
theoretically, u are not supposed to show ur interest in an organization until you have done ur research and are absolutely positive that u are ready to seek acceptance into that respective fraternity/sorority....therefore i can definately understand y someone would feel as though u wasted their time after they took the time to take you under their wing. if you feel close enough to that person that looked out for u, i would suggest talking to them personally and maybe clearing the air.
#40 "Formidable IVY"
I understand totally what you are saying however my decision not to apply really had little to do with the organization. I was listening to "nay sayers" would had took notice of me "going to events" and such and that made me feel like I was indiscrete also, I thought I wasn't going to make it because of some rumors that I had heard (also from some snakes in the grass whom I'd later found out were rejected) on top of that I had some personal things going on both in my academic and family life (I'll PM you) and I couldn't afford for my GPA to drop. But thank you for your honest opinion. Also, as far as talking to the person I was "most close with" she is graduating so doesn't really have a say but she is trying to vouch for me but others in the chapter totally ignore me, go out their way to show their opinions of me at their events (to the point that the grad advisor noticed and inquired what was wrong), deleted our facebook/myspace friendship, etc. etc. so it's almost like I feel like giving up and waiting for grad. But this is really in my heart.
Basically... the next year i'd give you chance because I understand stuff happens from the interest perspective and I remember what its like being on that end. However, please believe you'd have to grind harder than ever before and be on your P and Qs on EVERYTHING to reassure me that this is what you really want to do.
As a neophyte, I probably would have given you the cold shoulder like the rest of the chapter for "wasting our time", because that's the mindframe I would have been in at the time. But as you grow in greek organizations you shy away from the petty stuff and take a look at the situation in full view. It is a lifelong commitment so I would give you another chance next semester/year. Your friend may have graduated and no longer have a direct vote in the chapter but she does have influence.
Exactly what does "grind" mean ? I first heard that term from a young member of the family. Old school required you to go to the Interest meeting, write your letter,the chapter sent your name to the registrar's office, they voted and you got a letter saying yea or nay.. you don't have the gpa for example. You showed up for the meeting, were told how much it would cost, what outfits you would need and you were officially in the Pledge Club where you learned history, etc., got ready for the show, about eight weeks, and all that "other stuff". Hell Week was 1 week. No upfront anything was necessary. Why do a bunch of "grinding' when you may not be accepted?