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I Live Posted on 08-07-2004

I Live I lived from the struggle of the first breath of Life....... To see the Depths of Death that was standing at the door that was wide open in my life...... Lived to Stuggle to breathe again and through prayers it was received....... I Lived from torment and torture the bruises and scars that life issued to me the pain and agony of the whip slashes being lashed upon my back through blood and Gore I held my head high yeah the tears fell.... but the testimony is I made it...... I lived from the hurt of a broken home left with options of what to do where to go and who to continue my life with...... Though I never thanked him God made a way to combine my options in to one..... What more could i ask for..... I recieved a blessing......... I lived from the struggle of my past of being destructive and chaotic.... from fist fights w/ whomever I chose necassary and in that excuse was my way of Life.... for everything negative there was always an excuse.... But I was scarred.... Inside I was hurting...... and every second of every minute and every minute of every hour and every hour of everyday.... the tears fell until i could cry no more my eyes were a bloodshot red....... I lived from the feeling of being shot in the head mentally..... and though it seemed i survived and was well on my own...... Physically i struggled..... With self confidence, motivation, determination and positivity...... Something told me to deal with it and keep going... so i followed the voice....... I lived from failing economically..... I felt as though if i failed within me... then i might as well fail outside of me...... I had no means of going on... For what?... If tomorrow is not promised then what's the point of striving to even think about seeing it when Life wasn't even near 2% great...... Something told me to keep striving.... So I followed the voice....... I lived from witnessing and sometimes even being apart of lieing, cheating, stealing, jealousy, envy, because I've gone through the fire and yes i've even been through the flood..... I've even had to endure the pain and struggle of being broken into pieces......... But the voice said keep striving...... I Lived from being placed outside myself i saw my faults and weaknesses.. I saw where I was depressed and down and out.. I saw where the devil was running be down and in seconds I could have even been **** because I was down and out to the point where I ALMOST Gave up I saw where I had been run over so many times and I saw where I was hurting..... Lived to actually witnessing where I was seeing the storms and the rain and lightning that was being struck directly in my face and pretty soon I was to the point where i would be Struck and Eventually ****..... BUT GOD....... In the Midst of trial and era there is a point where after you realize the things your going through and the pain your suffering that you realize that Jesus is all you need..... So I got down on my knees and i cried to the Lord rivers of Tears and I began to lay all my burdens out to the Lord.. all My pain.. My fears.. My weaknesses... My trials.. era.. EVERYTHING that was causing this black cloud and this Dark period in my life..... and the Lord saved me... Gave me a testimony..... and Through Transition..... I'm not what I used to be....... I Live..... because I'm washed by the blood of the lamb and in my cleansing.. I'm free in Jesus to Conqueror and Challenge that he puts before me.. though I may stuggle... in that there is a testimony I live because I listened to the voice that told me to keep striving and to keep pressing on.. Because You see.. I pressing on.. the Upward way.. new HEIGHTS I'm gaining.. Everyday.. No higher Place that I have Found.. So I plant My Feet On higher Ground..... I live Not for the moment but for Experience... Im a RADICAL for Jesus... the Word of God to me is like Marijuana to Drug addicts.. I can't get enough of it... It makes me High.. and to be High In jesus... Is My Desire.... the desire to Do anything for God....... My Desire is to Please Him..... I live for the HIGH CALLING of Jesus...... Because I believe he has a Higher calling for me..... My music.. My Songs... My Lyrical Endeavours...... Are all just a sample of The testimony of the things God has allowed me to go through see and conquer.... I live because through it all.. I REMEMBERED that when I was down and out the Lord Loved me and he cared and though at the time I thought I was getting ready to fall flat on my face he would never put more on my than he thought that I could bare........ I Live for this Chance to Shout praises unto the Lord for His Grace.... His Love.. mercy..... Everlasting Light and Life.... His grace........ GRACE..... That allowed me to see another Day and another year........ Grace...... I'm STILL HERE BY THE GRACE OF GOD...... I Live for the chance of the Lord using me as his vessel to reach to His Children and offer a word and song of encouragement..... I Live to Live AGAIN......
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