do i really luv him?

hey yall. ight this gon be kind of long so i hope yall have time to help me out. im a senior in highskool and i was in my first real relationship with a guy named q in the 10th grade . he was my first kiss and firt love. and we were togther for about 2 months. and at first our relationship was going good until i guess i messed it up cuz 1 minute i would stop talking to him for no reason and stuff and tell him he cant play ball. but then next minute i would kiss him and stuff. and he still was with me. and the first tim ehe told me he loved me was over the pone like after we were dating for 2 weeks. so of course i was like i dont feel the same. but anywa ner the end of our relationship i called him a **** cuz i was really mad at him. but then he started acting funny and then his bestfriend who liked me told me he was gon break up with me for another gurl if the the other gurl takes him back and when i asked him bout it of course he denied it. but needless to say he broke up with me and he said becuz i told him sumthin and so he forced his self to be not attracted to me anymmore.(aint that stupid) and come to find out he hooked back up with his ex girl and was telling her stuff like i said i was gon steal him away from her but me and her cool now. but i still love him and every boy im with i compare them to him and he would always talk to me and if i dont say anything to him like if he says hi and i ignore him he comes and hugs me and stuff and wont let me go until i say hi and on the forst day of skool i asked if he knew where my locker # was and he changed froom whatever direction he was going in and found my locker for me. and i want to be with him even though i dotn show it but im scared that he will try to play me again and i dont feel like going through that again. he was the first guy i cried over and stayed up late thinking about. but if yall did real all dis and got sum advice or comments please let me kno.. thanx

the best advice you could get...you are a senior in highschool and i'd take it that you are on your way to school...don't worry about it...if its meant to happen it'll happen but don't force it because you are about to leave and you are going to pump up something that might get your feelings hurt in another year because you will both be leaving and as freshmen...you get happy