In my opinion its hard to FIND ANYONE that you have a genuine connection with.
But i feel that there is a person out there for each of us. I know a lot of guys who just arent interested in going to school their main concern is finding a "good paying job". But we do have more and more going to school and trying to make something of themselves.
I for one believe that women if your not at a certain financial level don't knock a man whose not on that level either.
I see girls like I want a man with a car and a job while the girl is still taking the bus and living off of her parents. I don't think thats fair.
If you don't have a car don't expect him to.
But I was blessed to find a man thats on a level higher than me...the only reason I say this is b/c he's a college grad and in grad school.
But shoot i was toe for toe with him, we equally brought something to the relationship...I let him know from the get i can do and i gained his RESPECT as an individual and equal contributor to the relationship (we each had our own cars, we each lived on our own, and we were each financially stable) I think thats what many couples are lacking of today RESPECT fo one another.
I think that the problem is that most of us don't know what we want and it's just a trial to find it. Alot of us settle for what seems like a good man just because. I don't think that the Afircan American pool is shrinking, i just think that our patience is. Nothing with balck folks has ever been easy so why would this be?
I think also that alot of us women are scared of getting hurt so we hold back or don't ocme off as stronge and we let go of the ones that we should try to keep. There is something for everyone the problem is are you patient enough to work for it. A relationship is just like any other thing it takes hard work and commitment to get it going and to keep it going.
I know at my high school there aren't any guys on my level but i'm hoping thats because they're in high school. It seems like they're not worried about their education and they have no ambition, or their no good, and then the ones that are going to college and know what they want to do in life are only interested in white women :roll: i'm hoping that in college there will be a bigger pool of educated, outgoing, and ambitious brothers to choose from :wink:
Since I posted this, I should give my own opinion.
I think that our pool isn't necessarily shrinking, but rather, we think our "future husband" have to be making $100,000 a year at least, driving Escalades, and dressed in the best 24/7, making us too blind to see that we actually have many "choices". One of my friends was telling me how if her boyfriend don't have a job, a car, his own place, and could support her without her having to work, then she wouldn't give him the time of day. Mind you, she has NONE of the above. I have to admit, at one point, I did have that same outlook, but then I thought that wasn't fair. African American males could say the same thing and twist this entire thing around. So it's really a 2 way street. Now, knowing how it felt to think that they would be judging me based on "materialist" things and money rather than who I am, it made me open my eyes. Now my "standards" for males isn't lower, but in my opinion, it's higher because I'm no longer concerned about the materialistic qualites (or quantity) he may have rather than can we connect as two people both looking for someone to share our love with.
^^^^ I agree with you...
But this is an interesting topic cause I heard it on tv about how some many professional black women feel they are either gonna be single or have to marry outside of the black race cause as they progressed in their education after undergrad...the number of black men in school trying to get professional and doctorate degrees dwindles down significantly. And I guess maybe some black women have the problem of being a Dr. while their hursband may just be a h.s. teacher. She wants him on that high level as her if not, very close. But on top of that as we know...not just black men...but of all races...there are more women in college than men and attaining degrees so it just makes it that much harder PERIOD to find a man that u want on that same level as you. Those are my thoughts.
In my opinion its hard to FIND ANYONE that you have a genuine connection with.
But i feel that there is a person out there for each of us. I know a lot of guys who just arent interested in going to school their main concern is finding a "good paying job". But we do have more and more going to school and trying to make something of themselves.
I think thats what many couples are lacking of today RESPECT fo one another.
as a youngun not quite so tainted about finding a guy on my level, this is an interesting thread. because i am not the average female high schooler, black or otherwise, i do find it hard to date guys who understand me. i am in agreement with those who say that it is hard to find a good man period and that it's unfair to ask a guy to have things that you don't or are unwilling to get. from my point of view, God has someone for everyone, even if it doesn't look like it.
