sticks and stones....

yesterday in my Current Issues in Mass Media class, we were talking about how people tend to regard criticism about themselves much higher than compliments......how it takes at least 10 compliments to cancel out just one single criticism.... and that is so true....for some reason, people are much quicker to think others are being completely honest when they criticize....and they just gotta be b/sin' when they say something nice.... we're twisted :???: but anyway....she was also saying that's y many Black children in "poor" communities might not amount to much in life...because many of them have been told throughout their lives that they wouldn't....and they just end up fulfilling the prophecy, ya know? and that's why it's important that people watch what they say to children....'cause that might end up making or breaking the success they possess for the rest of their lives... so has this ever happened to you? has anyone ever told you something negative about yourself, whether about how you look, act, talk, etc. etc....and that just ate away at your brain or self-esteem/confidence to the point where you had become overly-conscious and even paranoid about it for the rest of your life? or even not for the rest of your life, maybe just for a significant amount of time....until you decided to change it (or better yourself from it...ya know, turning a negative into a positive) or just simply stop stressing out about it? if so, when was this? elementary school? middle school? high school? recently? who said it? how did they mean it (you know how people joke around and say something, but u take it seriously)? how has it affected you? how long has it affected you? and on the flip-side.....has there ever been a positive or encouraging comment or compliment made towards you by anyone in your lifetime...that has had a particularly positive influence on your outcome, actions, or behavior? again, when was the comment made? who said it? & how has it affected you in the longrun?

i remember when i was 16 (not too long) and i had just found out about my family history. no woman in our family had ever graduated from college. i was/am a honor student and i remeber my aunt telling me "what the hell you trying so hard for. you go end up like the rest of us"...bytch. anywho, my mother had a long talk with me about the mistakes and curses of this family. she promised me that she will go back to college, break the curse, and expect me to do the same. she told me that i am the most powerful and independet woman she has ever met in her life and that i was gong to do great things... well that upped my spirits a whole lot. my mommy kept her promise to me, she's graduating this fall... her telling me that i can do it all if i wanted has made me work even harder and have greater expectations for myself... hope that answers your question....