Are Black Women Scaring Off Their Men? (The Washington Post)
12 replies
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5781 views
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Started by PrettyShy13
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Jul 2005
PrettyShy13 wrote:Thats an interesting perspective. She made some very good points. I believe that both black women AND men have something that we really need to work on with ourselves when it comes to these things called love and commitment. I know not everybody would agree with her, especially other black women but personally I do like her perspective.On this evening, I was sitting out a record when a thought came to me. If a man were to say, "I'm going to be in charge and you're going to follow. I want you to adjust your ways to fit in with mine" I'd dismiss him as a Neanderthal. With my hand on my hip, I'd tell him that I have just as much sense as he does and that he can't tell me what to do. Yet, on the dance floor, I love following a man's lead. I don't feel inferior because my part is different from his, and I don't feel I have to prove that I'm just as able to lead as he is. I simply allow him to take my hand, and I go with the flow.
#1
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I understand where the author is coming from also....yet I can't see myself fulling agreeing with her. I completely understand that the ego of black males are tested everyday in society, but I am not going to act like a helpless child to pacify and stroke nobody's ego either. What struck me the most is the fact that a year from now I'm going to be one of the types of women she described: 22, in grad school, and chances are I'll be single and my main priority will be my career/education. At the same time, I don't like that maybe I won't have the time to dedicate myself to anything OR anyone outside of me and getting my degree, and that's scary in itself. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to throw everything away that I have worked hard for in order to have Mr. Right. I guess it's all about compromise, understanding, and EVERYONE stepping up their game....
#2
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Yea, I believe that it would have to be compromise from both sides. Not necessarily throwing down careers, but taking time out to support each other and put our egos down.
#3
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PrettyShy13 wrote:I understand where the author is coming from also....yet I can't see myself fulling agreeing with her. I completely understand that the ego of black males are tested everyday in society, but I am not going to act like a helpless child to pacify and stroke nobody's ego either. What struck me the most is the fact that a year from now I'm going to be one of the types of women she described: 22, in grad school, and chances are I'll be single and my main priority will be my career/education. At the same time, I don't like that maybe I won't have the time to dedicate myself to anything OR anyone outside of me and getting my degree, and that's scary in itself. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to throw everything away that I have worked hard for in order to have Mr. Right. I guess it's all about compromise, understanding, and EVERYONE stepping up their game....
