i have no issue with preparing food n keepin the house together for my family. it's when the husband DEMANDS it that i'ma strike up an attitude. don't TELL me that you want dinner, common sense is gonna tell me that you're hungry, and i'll see to it when i see fit.
it's like when your mother sees you walking to the kitchen, and tells you to take take out the trash, when you were already on your way to do it. wouldn't YOU get annoyed, too?
but back to the topic, i've already said my opinion on this subject...
*sigh*
women just not wanting to accept thier roles in this life....that's why relationships are falling apart. but partly our fault because we've taken advantage of them and our role...
women are just hard-headed and "eve"-ing...only conservative, wise women understand how important thier role is and accept it...there's absoutely nothing degrading about it....
lemme explain this the way i learned it when i was working for walmart...
what if you walked into a store, and you had absolutely NO associates to help you? the entire store was filled with manegers, and the manegers were going around doing manegement this like filling out paperwork, and catching thieves.
you'd have no cart pushers, no cashiers, no sales floor associates....just 400 workers walking around with walkie talkies, trying to give direction and catching thieves.
although the roles have less authorative power, each is very important and a great responcibility.
i just want my future wife to be good at being a mom and housewife first....and to submit to me, and i promise i won;t lead her latina **** in the wrong direction.
Take a married Woman's advice!
Please, seek out someone who will be supportive of your goals in life. Now, that does not mean that she has to leave hers behind. But there needs to be a mutual understanding and then planning that also includes thinking about life after the wedding. Personally, I would not have married my husband if he were in the military. Why? First of all, I don't support war esp. seeing all that went on with Bush and his decision to invade Iraq. Secondly, the moves to God knows where, and the time away from family is a bit difficult to deal with esp. if you have children.
Being a good man and husband, also means that you are understanding and can be supportive with whatever your wants to accomplish. Are you ready for that? I can honestly say that most men are NOT capable of doing that because of the way society has been set up. The mindset has to change in order for any relationship to work.
Hope this helps
You make an interesting point, however all the reasons that you said you wouldn't have married your husband is the problem that I will be facing. Quite honestly, I don't mind supporting my wife in whatever she wants to do. That's what you're supposed to do as a husband. The problems comes when all hell breaks loose on the other side of the world. Or when you get stationed in Australia. Now, while I have the safety of a job that doesn't get deployed, I could very well be stationed on the other side of the world. So like I said before... what kind of woman that I would associate with in the first place (which means she's got goals in life, she wants to make something of herself, she thinks for herself) is gonna want to give up, or even put that stuff on hold just to be with some Airman? The kinda lifestyle that I'll end up having isn't conducive to my wife being able to do anything permanent. The only thing that will ber permanent is the two of us. Which means that whatever happens, wherever we go, whatever the Air Force says I have to do, at the end of the day, she's gotta be happy that she's with me. I'm not trying to be the big controlling husband, or anything like that. That's just the facts. There's no one that unselfish anymore.
Wait, wait, wait... hold up one gat damn minute...
LaTonya... your ol' bitter, curmudgeony **** is married?! I gotta shake this dude's hand... :???:
i actually forgot her name was latonya :???:
lemme add this....a long along along LONG time ago latonya said in a thread that the 2 people she would like to meet from this site were neosoulbrother, and..........................demmeri
lol and the funny thing is, i actually have a 26 year old friend who's name is also latonya. lol...
but back to the topic, i've already said my opinion on this subject...
*sigh*
women just not wanting to accept thier roles in this life....that's why relationships are falling apart. but partly our fault because we've taken advantage of them and our role...
women are just hard-headed and "eve"-ing...only conservative, wise women understand how important thier role is and accept it...there's absoutely nothing degrading about it....
lemme explain this the way i learned it when i was working for walmart...
what if you walked into a store, and you had absolutely NO associates to help you? the entire store was filled with manegers, and the manegers were going around doing manegement this like filling out paperwork, and catching thieves.
you'd have no cart pushers, no cashiers, no sales floor associates....just 400 workers walking around with walkie talkies, trying to give direction and catching thieves.
although the roles have less authorative power, each is very important and a great responcibility.
i just want my future wife to be good at being a mom and housewife first....and to submit to me, and i promise i won;t lead her latina **** in the wrong direction.
Take a married Woman's advice!
Please, seek out someone who will be supportive of your goals in life. Now, that does not mean that she has to leave hers behind. But there needs to be a mutual understanding and then planning that also includes thinking about life after the wedding. Personally, I would not have married my husband if he were in the military. Why? First of all, I don't support war esp. seeing all that went on with Bush and his decision to invade Iraq. Secondly, the moves to God knows where, and the time away from family is a bit difficult to deal with esp. if you have children.
Being a good man and husband, also means that you are understanding and can be supportive with whatever your wants to accomplish. Are you ready for that? I can honestly say that most men are NOT capable of doing that because of the way society has been set up. The mindset has to change in order for any relationship to work.
Hope this helps
You make an interesting point, however all the reasons that you said you wouldn't have married your husband is the problem that I will be facing. Quite honestly, I don't mind supporting my wife in whatever she wants to do. That's what you're supposed to do as a husband. The problems comes when all hell breaks loose on the other side of the world. Or when you get stationed in Australia. Now, while I have the safety of a job that doesn't get deployed, I could very well be stationed on the other side of the world. So like I said before... what kind of woman that I would associate with in the first place (which means she's got goals in life, she wants to make something of herself, she thinks for herself) is gonna want to give up, or even put that stuff on hold just to be with some Airman? The kinda lifestyle that I'll end up having isn't conducive to my wife being able to do anything permanent. The only thing that will ber permanent is the two of us. Which means that whatever happens, wherever we go, whatever the Air Force says I have to do, at the end of the day, she's gotta be happy that she's with me. I'm not trying to be the big controlling husband, or anything like that. That's just the facts. There's no one that unselfish anymore.
Wait, wait, wait... hold up one gat damn minute...
LaTonya... your ol' bitter, curmudgeony **** is married?! I gotta shake this dude's hand... :???:
Now, why you gotta go and join the air force?!?! What's wrong with you boy?
Take a married Woman's advice!
Please, seek out someone who will be supportive of your goals in life. Now, that does not mean that she has to leave hers behind. But there needs to be a mutual understanding and then planning that also includes thinking about life after the wedding. Personally, I would not have married my husband if he were in the military. Why? First of all, I don't support war esp. seeing all that went on with Bush and his decision to invade Iraq. Secondly, the moves to God knows where, and the time away from family is a bit difficult to deal with esp. if you have children.
Being a good man and husband, also means that you are understanding and can be supportive with whatever your wants to accomplish. Are you ready for that? I can honestly say that most men are NOT capable of doing that because of the way society has been set up. The mindset has to change in order for any relationship to work.
Hope this helps
You make an interesting point, however all the reasons that you said you wouldn't have married your husband is the problem that I will be facing. Quite honestly, I don't mind supporting my wife in whatever she wants to do. That's what you're supposed to do as a husband. The problems comes when all hell breaks loose on the other side of the world. Or when you get stationed in Australia. Now, while I have the safety of a job that doesn't get deployed, I could very well be stationed on the other side of the world. So like I said before... what kind of woman that I would associate with in the first place (which means she's got goals in life, she wants to make something of herself, she thinks for herself) is gonna want to give up, or even put that stuff on hold just to be with some Airman? The kinda lifestyle that I'll end up having isn't conducive to my wife being able to do anything permanent. The only thing that will ber permanent is the two of us. Which means that whatever happens, wherever we go, whatever the Air Force says I have to do, at the end of the day, she's gotta be happy that she's with me. I'm not trying to be the big controlling husband, or anything like that. That's just the facts. There's no one that unselfish anymore.
Wait, wait, wait... hold up one gat damn minute...
LaTonya... your ol' bitter, curmudgeony **** is married?! I gotta shake this dude's hand... :???:
Now, why you gotta go and join the air force?!?! What's wrong with you boy?
Nothing is wrong with me. I wanted to join the Air Force in the first place. I never liked A&T. I got tired of staying there waiting for classes that they didn't have when I needed them, and therefore keeping me there longer wasting my money - especially since I didn't want to be there in the first place. I went and talked to the recruiter and found out that it would actually be quicker for me to join the Air Force and take the rest of my classes on post, while getting my **** paid and working in a department that I've wanted to be a part of since I was a kid. In addition, it was the only way that I could get things in my life accomplished at the same time without having to try and figure out what priority I want to place them in. Major things (or at least major to me) like :
1.) I wanted to keep my credit straight. With full loan repayment and a dependable paycheck, as well as a housing allowance and full medical benefits, I'm financially secure. Therefore, even if I decide to leave, I still have the power to do what I want with my money.
2.) I wanted to finish my degree with the least amount of impact on my bank account. The Air Force offers 100% tuition assistance to most accredited universities, as well as classes on post.
3.) I wanted to stay fit. That speaks for itself...
I actually got a better deal than most people get when they enlist. I'm entering as an E-3 (Airman First Class), most people enter as an E-1 (Airman Basic). I also qualified for a job that doesn't get deployed... well, the only enlisted job that I know of that doesn't get deployed. It has room to move up. The people in that profession are really close knit. Most of them aren't the normal people that you would think are in the Air Force. So I think I'll enjoy it. I'll be working at something that I've always wanted to do and I'll have the life that I want to live. I guess I'm talking kinda like I'm in one of those cheesey commercials, but it the truth. Oh well... you can always come and visit me in Colorado.
Take a married Woman's advice!
Please, seek out someone who will be supportive of your goals in life. Now, that does not mean that she has to leave hers behind. But there needs to be a mutual understanding and then planning that also includes thinking about life after the wedding. Personally, I would not have married my husband if he were in the military. Why? First of all, I don't support war esp. seeing all that went on with Bush and his decision to invade Iraq. Secondly, the moves to God knows where, and the time away from family is a bit difficult to deal with esp. if you have children.
Being a good man and husband, also means that you are understanding and can be supportive with whatever your wants to accomplish. Are you ready for that? I can honestly say that most men are NOT capable of doing that because of the way society has been set up. The mindset has to change in order for any relationship to work.
Hope this helps
You make an interesting point, however all the reasons that you said you wouldn't have married your husband is the problem that I will be facing. Quite honestly, I don't mind supporting my wife in whatever she wants to do. That's what you're supposed to do as a husband. The problems comes when all hell breaks loose on the other side of the world. Or when you get stationed in Australia. Now, while I have the safety of a job that doesn't get deployed, I could very well be stationed on the other side of the world. So like I said before... what kind of woman that I would associate with in the first place (which means she's got goals in life, she wants to make something of herself, she thinks for herself) is gonna want to give up, or even put that stuff on hold just to be with some Airman? The kinda lifestyle that I'll end up having isn't conducive to my wife being able to do anything permanent. The only thing that will ber permanent is the two of us. Which means that whatever happens, wherever we go, whatever the Air Force says I have to do, at the end of the day, she's gotta be happy that she's with me. I'm not trying to be the big controlling husband, or anything like that. That's just the facts. There's no one that unselfish anymore.
Wait, wait, wait... hold up one gat damn minute...
LaTonya... your ol' bitter, curmudgeony **** is married?! I gotta shake this dude's hand... :???:
Now, why you gotta go and join the air force?!?! What's wrong with you boy?
Nothing is wrong with me. I wanted to join the Air Force in the first place. I never liked A&T. I got tired of staying there waiting for classes that they didn't have when I needed them, and therefore keeping me there longer wasting my money - especially since I didn't want to be there in the first place. I went and talked to the recruiter and found out that it would actually be quicker for me to join the Air Force and take the rest of my classes on post, while getting my **** paid and working in a department that I've wanted to be a part of since I was a kid. In addition, it was the only way that I could get things in my life accomplished at the same time without having to try and figure out what priority I want to place them in. Major things (or at least major to me) like :
1.) I wanted to keep my credit straight. With full loan repayment and a dependable paycheck, as well as a housing allowance and full medical benefits, I'm financially secure. Therefore, even if I decide to leave, I still have the power to do what I want with my money.
2.) I wanted to finish my degree with the least amount of impact on my bank account. The Air Force offers 100% tuition assistance to most accredited universities, as well as classes on post.
3.) I wanted to stay fit. That speaks for itself...
I actually got a better deal than most people get when they enlist. I'm entering as an E-3 (Airman First Class), most people enter as an E-1 (Airman Basic). I also qualified for a job that doesn't get deployed... well, the only enlisted job that I know of that doesn't get deployed. It has room to move up. The people in that profession are really close knit. Most of them aren't the normal people that you would think are in the Air Force. So I think I'll enjoy it. I'll be working at something that I've always wanted to do and I'll have the life that I want to live. I guess I'm talking kinda like I'm in one of those cheesey commercials, but it the truth. Oh well... you can always come and visit me in Colorado.
Ooh please, they filled my cousins head with that "100% tuition" mess too :-) . Well, she has spent the last year in Kuwait. So, I don't know if you could be 100% sure that they will not deploy you. But then again, she joined the reserves and they probably work differently from the air force. But oh well...At least you have a plan. Now, what are you going to do if you meet that special someone?
Ooh please, they filled my cousins head with that "100% tuition" mess too :-) . Well, she has spent the last year in Kuwait. So, I don't know if you could be 100% sure that they will not deploy you. But then again, she joined the reserves and they probably work differently from the air force. But oh well...At least you have a plan. Now, what are you going to do if you meet that special someone?
Nah, they work about the same, I just have a job that doesn't deploy, outside of a temporary duty assignment (a month at the most), and those have been very rare. If I meet that special someone, then I guess she'll just have to take me for me. That's the way it always has been and the way it always will be. Until my contract is up, my job is out of my control. Like you said, anyone that I decide to marry should be able to support me in what I want to do. I want to make this a career. While it may seem like I want someone to stand behind me and support me, that's not the case. I want someone who's going to stand right beside me. As of right now, I have only met one girl that's strong enough to handle that position, and I'm not what she wants. To me, she's so different that I doubt I will ever meet anyone even remotely similar her. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: No one is that unselfish. That's almost the ultimate form of subordination. To give up what you want to follow a man. I wouldn't even want to put anyone through that kind of descision. I wouldn't even want to try and make myself look like I'm worth even thinking about it.
I don't mind a wife that wants to work. As a matter of fact, I would support her whole heartedly. However, given that I could feasibly have to move around every three to four years with a year in Texas in between each move, I don't know that it would be feasible for her to be able to work. We would be financially stable enough that she wouldn't have to work, however I can understand a want or need to have a job. In the military your rent is paid for and as a matter of fact, you get more money if you're married and even more money if you have kids. By the time I get ready to marry, my paycheck will be sufficient that anything else we could want, we can easily afford without having to be on a tight budget. I'm not forcing anyone to do anything. But am I wrong for expecting a wife that isn't working to at least at the bare minimum take care of house and home? Clearly I don't expect to just sit back and make her do all the work. I wouldn't mind pitching in to help at all. But generally, any chick that I'm willing to go out with isn't down for that kinda stuff. What kinda college graduate with an actual goal in life and a good head on her shoulders is going to set all of that aside to follow some airman around the world?
I think dat if she truly loved you, then she would set aside her plans for you. I mean like you said, being with a man in the millitary, your not stationed in one place long enough to be trippin off workin and all dat. Its almost as if she has no choice, if she loved u she would follow her man, especially if he's taking care of them financially.
I sat by for too long and I need to speak my peace on this topic. I am a military member. I have deployed, been in 12 years, 9 of which, I was married. So I have some experience here.
A military spouse (husband or wife) has to deal with many situations that ordinary couples do not face. The spouses who do the damn thang are a special breed.
Before a person gets involved with a military member, they should know the ins and outs of the dynamics in a military household and be willing to accept those adverse circumstances.
You may PCS (permanent change of station) so those who need to be near momma need not apply.
If you refuse to move because of your career, do not apply.
If you are not able to hold it down like a single parent because of deployments, do not apply.
If you can not grasp the concept of what you do can have adverse effects on the military member's career, you definitely need not apply. (I got hemmed up for my ex writing bad checks on her account)
If you can not stand and be strong enough to endure 4 month, 6 month, and one year deployments that roll around every 18 months or so, don't apply.
If you can not accept that you marry the person and the military, do not apply. (for some reason alot of people have issues with that)
I applaud every military spouse that has hung in there with their significant other, through thicker and thinner. Those who can hack it have my deepest respect and admiration.
Let me leave u with a story:
Before I deployed, I met a nice young lady. We had good times, and she loved to see me in my uniform. Everything was ducky until one day we were watching CNN and she asked if I were ever going "over there." I told her I was going in a few months. She got hella mad like I duped her or something. I mean she got ****!!! I asked her what the deal was. She said that if I had disclosed to her that I was deploying, we probably would never have started dating. I said to her, the fact that I wear the uniform should let you know that I "may" go to contingencies! Then I asked a rhetorical question: "Am I supposed to base my dating life around the deployment rotational cycle?" I ended with, "This is normal for me. Keep that in mind if you want to be a part of a military member's life."
lol and the funny thing is, i actually have a 26 year old friend who's name is also latonya. lol... 
