Okay, here's the scenario (I'd only read this if you have a nice chunk of time on your hands :roll: ):
Way back in my freshman year, I met this young lady on MiGente.com. We started talking like everyday and got really close. When we were first conversing, she had a boyfriend, so I was only talking to her, because I enjoyed the conversation. She's a very intelligent young lady, and never fails to make me think every time that I talk to her. Over the course of time, her boyfriend began treating her badly, and that's when we actually started getting close. She started opening up to me a whole lot more than she used to. I did the same as well By the time Spring Break rolled around that year, we had plans to meet each other. I had no idea what she looked like, I just knew that she was a sweet person, and I wanted to at least spend some time with her. When she showed me a picture of herself the day before I was going to meet her (she goes to school in another city about an hour away), I was totally caught off guard. She was black! She goes a school where there's all of 30 black students (its a private girls' school), and she actually talked intelligently. From the moment that I first met her in person, she'd changed the way that I looked at women. She was the exact opposite from what I thought I wanted (light skin, long, natural hair). She was brown skinned, with braids, and she even had fake coloured contacts. But somehow she was the most gorgeous thing that I'd ever laid eyes on.
So we met and went out, and after that we started getting closer. That summer, since we wouldn't be able to talk to each other on a regular basis (I was going to summer school and she was working and going to summer school in her home state), we decided that we'd write to each other. For her birthday, I sent her a little stuffed puppy and I burned some CDs that she wanted. When she got the puppy, she was thrilled. No one else had gotten her anything. So she named him and gave him a loving home.
To make a long story short, up until now, I grew to have feelings for her. Through all of the times that she was happy and sad, I'd been there for her. I'd gotten to know her. This was the girl that had singlehandedly changed the way that I saw women. But there was a problem. I had to call her, but she wouldn't call me. I had to come and visit her, but Greensboro was too far for her to drive. Everytime I asked about us being more, she only dodged the question. So I stopped. I'd decided that I wasn't chasing after anyone. Especially people that can't call or visit or answer my questions. I don't care if she wasn't as privilaged as I and maybe couldn't afford to do it.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I'm at work and I sign on to AOL, and shortly after, she pops up, and says something about how I haven't spoken to her in so long even thought the phone and the IM screen goes both ways as well. I haven't talked to her since Christmas Eve, and I thought that maybe she was trying to avoid me or something of the like. Come to find out, she has a good reason to have not said anything in so long. She's been going through hard times lately. Her father had been sick since about the time that I met her. Over the past couple of months, she's actually had to make the decision to pull the plug on oher father as well as take on all of his financial obligations and other things that come with someone's death. However, through this whole time, she's had the letters that I wrote her posted on some bulliten boards that were on her wall. They covered both of them. She's also had the puppy that I gave her where she can always keep her eyes on him. The whole time that I though maybe she didn't care about me anymore, she actually ended up thinking about me constantly. She had no choice, I was right there the whole time. I don't know what to do, I'm confused as hell because at the moment women **** me off, and I can't help but forgive her, because I care about her just that much. What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
But I don't want to get my hopes up again only to be let down again.
thats just a chance u gotta take homie...love's road is full of ups and downs..its just testing u to see if u really want this to work.. and there is no time table when ur dealing with love...some wait a lifetime..be lucky urs has only been 2 yrs..u gotta look at this from the postitive lite..and take that opportunity to make things better..the ball is in ur court.
But I don't want to get my hopes up again only to be let down again.
thats just a chance u gotta take homie...love's road is full of ups and downs..its just testing u to see if u really want this to work.. and there is no time table when ur dealing with love...some wait a lifetime..be lucky urs has only been 2 yrs..u gotta look at this from the postitive lite..and take that opportunity to make things better..the ball is in ur court.
But I don't want to get my hopes up again only to be let down again.
thats just a chance u gotta take homie...love's road is full of ups and downs..its just testing u to see if u really want this to work.. and there is no time table when ur dealing with love...some wait a lifetime..be lucky urs has only been 2 yrs..u gotta look at this from the postitive lite..and take that opportunity to make things better..the ball is in ur court.
How is it in my court? She's the one that left me hangin'. Every time that she's been down, I've been there for her. When her stupid boyfriends f*cked up I was the one that heard her complaints. Not credents that she was chasing after When her friends and family died and she felt sad it was MY shoulders that she placed all of her burdens on... Now I've offered her a chance to show her that there's something better out there and she is hesitating to take it. Not just something better, but exactly what she wants. As far as I'm concerned, the ball is in her court.
Now I've offered her a chance to show her that there's something better out there and she is hesitating to take it. Not just something better, but exactly what she wants.
I can see ur frustration in ur words and kno that this is a very difficult thing to accept. You feel as if she left u, so its her that needs to step up and try and gain u back. When you offered her a chance and she hesitated to take it..how can u blame her? Love is scarrrrry. To be able to take that step, ur gonna need to understand more and be less angry about it b/c all that is going to do is push her away even more, rather than make u seem like more of a safe haven. And gee, i know u both are young and to find a love like you say urs is...that is rare! Most people are still trying to be pimps and playas..rather than look 4ward to their future. Just remember the 1st thing that a person remembers is the one time when u weren't there for them..not all the times you were. So if you think its still worth ur time, then stay in her life. Even if it is at the least, a friend level.
She doesn't have anything to be afraid of, and she knows she doesn't. I dunno what her problem is... :roll:
I understand where you are coming from, and the anger you have is not gonna make it any better but right now she needs you the most, and I know you don't want to get hurt but you need to call her and say: Look I'm feelin you a lot and i feel like I'm wasting my time when you hesitate to be with me. And if she is still acting **** then just move on
What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
they must be givin' those to jus anybody... :twisted:
See... now I actually I'm coming to y'all for help and to perhaps end my bitterness for a while and I get this... :roll: I guess I'm jus' dat spesho'...
im sry lol i couldn't let that 1 go. it was too easy. let's just hug & be friends :arrow:
What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
they must be givin' those to jus anybody... :twisted:
See... now I actually I'm coming to y'all for help and to perhaps end my bitterness for a while and I get this... :roll: I guess I'm jus' dat spesho'...
im sry lol i couldn't let that 1 go. it was too easy. let's just hug & be friends :arrow:
**turns around and crosses arms**
*~*HMPH!!*~* You gotta do better than that...
:roll: :evil: :arrow:
