I agree, people need to just start being honest and admitting the truth's to themselves. I think people deny things because they don't want to look at reality
I was reading an article about women havin a predetermined prototype of what they want their husband to be, therefore strictly dating guys with the characteristics whether they be physical, personality, or materialistic. It works the same way with men though. I've seen some dudes strictly pursue broads because "every other **** on the yard wanted her," or because she had a car.
My whole philosophy is: I can't expect a man to have anything that I don't have. While it is nice to date a guy that can pick me up, pay the bill, and buy me things, I can't let that be my sole basis for choosin a mate (I have dated some broke hoes). I'd rather have a broke dude with ambition than a spoiled-rotten rich boy with no sense of reality.
I think thats the difference I was speaking on. "Why would I want a man who is doing so little for himself that he cant do for me" is one of the things men most have a problem with. We feel like you should want us for who we are and not what we have. If the potential lies within us to be great but we dont have anyone to help us get there (though we really shouldnt Need anyone) then you cant hold that situation against him.
Then again (from a womans perspective) You dont look in the trash for diamonds...
oh i feel u on that but i also feel that u should have SOMETHING i mean gat damn...............
im not saying u gotta be rich, im saying at least be able to STAND on ur own.....................
i can help a man who i see is doing something with himself....................
LoL, Ive actually heard a girl say just that. "Have something, damn!" And thats to be expected cuz if he continues to have nothing and be nothing then I can see how that doesnt appeal to you :lol: .
Im speaking more to the norm of the situation like the men who dont have it all but are making Due or who pay their bills, eat good and have a goal but are still struggling. These guys do whatever they can for their woman, save up their arm and their leg just to sell it just so she can have and the support they need (yall seen the Jadakiss video, like that) isnt there. Not only is it not there but a sentiment Against what theyre trying to accomplish creates a negative force between them.
To the other statement about predetermination...well, Im sure theres some basis for that statement psychologically but open mindedness cures some of the ailments of guesswork. Even when people have their regiment of dating if they would just be a bit more open minded about who they were looking for then they wouldnt be so upset at the results.
Its gotta be frustrating because there are 2 laws that contradict.
Law 1: If you do the same thing you'll get the same result.
Law 2: Keep doing the same thing if its the right thing.
Men should follow the the second Law, but are conflicted because the first Law, which really isnt a law but just a matter of circumstance, is affecting them. "Seems like I try to be nice and try to do right but they do me so wrong." or "Seems like I always run into thes Hoes and cant get a real woman to see me" are some of the issues us real Men are having, so the dark side calls some of them. Cuz then comes Law 3.
Law 3: If you do something different youll get a different result.
"I was doing being a good guy and girls werent listenin, so if I be that raw, bad nicca..." And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. :arrow:
My whole philosophy is: I can't expect a man to have anything that I don't have. While it is nice to date a guy that can pick me up, pay the bill, and buy me things, I can't let that be my sole basis for choosin a mate (I have dated some broke hoes). I'd rather have a broke dude with ambition than a spoiled-rotten rich boy with no sense of reality.
My thought on this issue is that for me personally its not about the materialistic things and I dont consider myself a materialistic person. I want nice things but that is not my priority in life nor in a husband or boyfriend. It is about the person, who they are inside, they ambitions, their drive, their passions, can they respect me, etc. The things that truly matter. And for one thing for me its not a huge thing for a man to give me stuff all the time or for him to pay for everything. In a relationship its give and take and as long as i give all the time including emotionally, physically, and financially then its cool. Its times I go out with J and sometimes we split it, sometimes I pay, sometimes he does it all depends on our situation. And if my man was doing something productive in his life...school or pursing a dream I am going to be by his side throughout it all whatever way he needs me including financially even if that includes supporting him and myself cause I know he will do the same for me when he has the means. Those are my thoughts...I'm out. Stay safe, stay positive, and everyone keep ya head up. ~1LUV
My thought on this issue is that for me personally its not about the materialistic things and I dont consider myself a materialistic person. I want nice things but that is not my priority in life nor in a husband or boyfriend. It is about the person, who they are inside, they ambitions, their drive, their passions, can they respect me, etc. The things that truly matter. And for one thing for me its not a huge thing for a man to give me stuff all the time or for him to pay for everything. In a relationship its give and take and as long as i give all the time including emotionally, physically, and financially then its cool. Its times I go out with J and sometimes we split it, sometimes I pay, sometimes he does it all depends on our situation. And if my man was doing something productive in his life...school or pursing a dream I am going to be by his side throughout it all whatever way he needs me including financially even if that includes supporting him and myself cause I know he will do the same for me when he has the means. Those are my thoughts...I'm out. Stay safe, stay positive, and everyone keep ya head up. ~1LUV
My thought on this issue is that for me personally its not about the materialistic things and I dont consider myself a materialistic person. I want nice things but that is not my priority in life nor in a husband or boyfriend. It is about the person, who they are inside, they ambitions, their drive, their passions, can they respect me, etc. The things that truly matter. And for one thing for me its not a huge thing for a man to give me stuff all the time or for him to pay for everything. In a relationship its give and take and as long as i give all the time including emotionally, physically, and financially then its cool. Its times I go out with J and sometimes we split it, sometimes I pay, sometimes he does it all depends on our situation. And if my man was doing something productive in his life...school or pursing a dream I am going to be by his side throughout it all whatever way he needs me including financially even if that includes supporting him and myself cause I know he will do the same for me when he has the means. Those are my thoughts...I'm out. Stay safe, stay positive, and everyone keep ya head up. ~1LUV
*see's why she is my future wife*
awwww...*sniff sniff* someone hand me some tissue :cry: :lol:
my thoughts are much like Tee's. I never EXPECT for a dude to cover me or buy things for me. If he does, it's appreciated, but i'm into doing for myself. And hey, if the guy is truly decent and a good person, i would even do for him. If i'm able, why not? That's just me lookin at it for a moral perspective..."whatsoever a man (or woman) soweth, that shall he also reap". Give unto others, and God will bless u 10 fold...that's beyond dating, that's livelihood.
My thought on this issue is that for me personally its not about the materialistic things and I dont consider myself a materialistic person. I want nice things but that is not my priority in life nor in a husband or boyfriend. It is about the person, who they are inside, they ambitions, their drive, their passions, can they respect me, etc.The things that truly matter. And for one thing for me its not a huge thing for a man to give me stuff all the time or for him to pay for everything. In a relationship its give and take and as long as i give all the time including emotionally, physically, and financially then its cool. Its times I go out with J and sometimes we split it, sometimes I pay, sometimes he does it all depends on our situation. And if my man was doing something productive in his life...school or pursing a dream I am going to be by his side throughout it all whatever way he needs me including financially even if that includes supporting him and myself cause I know he will do the same for me when he has the means. Those are my thoughts...I'm out. Stay safe, stay positive, and everyone keep ya head up. ~1LUV
PREACH!!!!!! Oh girl, I feel you on that one. This guy I am dating is not broke but he doesn't have as much money as I do, being that my family is pretty well-off. But he is the most compasstionte guy i have ever met. He has 11 brothers and sisters and he does so much for them and his parents......he is seriously somone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. He has so much drive for life that it just inspires me(haha cheesy I know, but it's the truth). He's the type of person who is only trying to better himself, and that's the type of guy I need in my life. Not some broke **** who always has me reaching in my purse to pay for something. I don't mind paying or buying things but he's the type of guy that won't let me.....he just makes me want to cater to him(haha I want to Cater 2 uuuuuuuuuuuuuu)
*I never really experienced a man taking care of me including my father, boyfriend, or any male for that matter. So it'll be kinda nice to experience that.
Same here. But i guess since i'm so used to having women/females have my back and help me out, i don't expect a man to. It's not to look down on them, or to say that they aren't capable, i'm just not accustomed to it. Not saying i want a guy to take care of me in the future, but it wouldn't hurt to come across one that at least wanted to.
