I am venturing down the path of "Greekdom" with my college son. I have a few questions for you:
1) How much influence did either of your parents have on your decision once you were clearly approached?
2) Did you share everything with your parents?
3) If your dad was in one frat and your stepdad was in a different frat what would you do? Son is tight with both dads. (Girls...what if your mom/stepmom were in different sororities?)
I am honored to be close with my son but come fall '05 when he starts his sophomore year and at his school he can do this. Some frats have already approached him. I though you had to be a Junior at least huh?
I want to define my role a little bit better. Know my bounds and be correct on my info. (I have many friends in every frat/soro)
I am supportive of him becoming a member of a black fraternity. He is leaning on me for loads of advice because he does not want to offend or mislead either dad...he's cool like that.
Thanks for your thoughts!
I just think it's interesting how nice some people are being to this "mom", whereas many of you would jump at the chance to rip a newbie a new one for asking pretty much the same questions. Make your own conclusions, but some of this poster's comments are a little suspect :???:
You are all so sweet and loving! Thank you for your generous offerd to help and thank you for your candor.
I am off to spend some "quality time" with the son. He wants to play my favorite game, BINGO!
Nighty-night :-D
Their is so much stigma at his HBCU about "paper pledges"...leaves the kids confused.
Hazing, as you mentioned scares me. Our son told of seeing new members of a certain frat presented this Spring with carelessly shaven bald heads and visible cuts and large welts and bruises. This is a HUGE frat at his college and they have let him know that they are interested in them. I know I would not want him in this frat.
My hubby's frat is know as the "brainy" frat on his campus. They are very large in numbers and the kids I have met are truly nice, smart and well mannered. Son does not see himself in "button-downs" every day.
His dad's frat, on his campus, is possibly the least popular and small in numbers. Ironically, they do the most for the campus. They are real popular here in California though. Another frat that is also interested in him is pretty big on his campus yet, his dad would die if he pledged them.
I just think it's interesting how nice some people are being to this "mom", whereas many of you would jump at the chance to rip a newbie a new one for asking pretty much the same questions. Make your own conclusions, but some of this poster's comments are a little suspect :???:
So in the absence of me rippin them a new one, you can.
I've participated in "crossing" a line where I've known both mother and son.
Their relationship is similar to what has been articulated here.
Hostility definitely won't make any mom feel better about what she envisions in her mind that her son is going through.
I know during a process I'd hate to deal with any mom amped up cuz of some stuff said to her or that she read on the internet.
Have you read College Mom's other posts in other forums?
She just seems like an involved mom.
But tell me what you see that is suspect.
Good Morning Dreamgirl1908:
How are you doing today? I just re-read your post and I am confused. Do you "suspect" that I am not a real mom? What on earth makes me suspicious to you?
I'll be the first, in a long line to admit, that I am probably not the average parent but in everything I commit to, such as being a mom, I have tried to set the bar high. I am just driven that way.
My list of questions have not been asked here or on any other BGLO forum. How much sense would it make for any of you to ask questions from the perspective of a parent when many of you are still very much not parents nor the parents of a college age kid? That you assert that my questions are repetitive is unfounded and illogical.
You may google my posting name and everything that I have posted anywhere will show up ( I learned that the hard way ).
In case you can't tell, I really have nothing to hide as relates to HBCU's and my queries as a mom of an HBCU student. Of course I have to hide my son's identity adn not reveal his college...
You may also find that 99.9% of the folks on the HBCUCONNECT do not share your suspicions. Why on earth would you want to throw salt? Maybe you can take this interaction and information as a step in learning to trust, observe and not jump to erroneous and negative conclusions.
Finally,{ I gotta get back to work,} I am taken aback that you would attack your other Greek Fam posters for being patient, generous and polite to a mother or to any other poster. Despite the banter and good ribbing that you all give one another I urge you to take pride in the fact that your fellow posters were certainly raised right and have the hearts to be respectful in a world where too many people will cuss a mom, dad, etc. completely out.
That aside, I have read numerous post by newbies and although I am not greek, I too have felt the frustration that some of you have expressed to them. I took pride and said to myself "gee, even I know that!" :-D
Lastly, I have been very respectful of every BGLO that I have posted about because I am not here to hurt, enrage or start something negative. Just this morning, while on my way to work, I told other moms that they should of course go to the BGLO formal websites but they could also come here if they want additional perspectives, guidance and insight.
Have a wonderful, fun and blessed day.
I just think it's interesting how nice some people are being to this "mom", whereas many of you would jump at the chance to rip a newbie a new one for asking pretty much the same questions. Make your own conclusions, but some of this poster's comments are a little suspect :???:
So in the absence of me rippin them a new one, you can.
I've participated in "crossing" a line where I've known both mother and son.
Their relationship is similar to what has been articulated here.
Hostility definitely won't make any mom feel better about what she envisions in her mind that her son is going through.
I know during a process I'd hate to deal with any mom amped up cuz of some stuff said to her or that she read on the internet.
Have you read College Mom's other posts in other forums?
She just seems like an involved mom.
But tell me what you see that is suspect.
My list of questions have not been asked here or on any other BGLO forum. .
Maybe not by you specifically, but they have definitely been asked by other random newbies such as yourself, who may also be implying about Greekdom in the same level of sincerity that you have. What was sus to ME was how you put all your son's business out there. As someone who is married to and had prior relations with Greeks, I would think you'd have better discretion. But to each it's own :grin: And I sincerely did not intend for my post to come off as "hostile" :lol: but no one on here can refute the fact that had your son come on here and asked these questions for himself, he would have received some not-so-nice responses. Check the archives if you and laidback think I'm being a meany. Simply a double standard I pointed out. But who the heck am I?! :razz: Carry on with the kumbaya sessions!
DreamGirl:
Good Lord! Who stole your lunch?
If you think this post puts all my son's business out their then don't go to The Yard and read the "real" Mother-going-postal-on son post that I initiated about "our" business.
Discretion??? My goodness, I never named names and my word no one could ever pick my son or his HBCU out of an HBCU line-up if they tried. I have kept his identity, HBCU and all that to myself.
Discretion? Have mercy. I don't have the indoctrination that you have about greek secrecy. Your right. I do sleep with a greek(my darling hubby) and many of my current friends and associates are also greeks but, to say that I should have exercised more discretion than posting my queries on the internet...you got me. My hubby nor my friends have ever told me any secrets. I would not know aBGLO secret if it bit me to be honest.
Obviously, you were never a newbie to any forum and obviously you never asked no one any questions about the BGLO journey. Many of us mere mortals have to do so much more to learn about things than others. Don't you hate that!
Newsflash that's kinda mean, but I mo leave it) My son and all his friends do post questions here. I sent them this site months ago when I was lurking and they were being Freshmen and asking they momma's about what they thought about certain frats/soros. I gave my two cents and refered them to you...this site.
Be it luck, intelligence or whatever, but my son has NEVER gotten ripped or gotten one not so nice response. Again, you do not give your fellow posters or newbies enough credit :-(
Your not being mean. This thread simply gets under your skin for some reason. I don't know how you relate to or tolerate your folks and that is none of my internet business. I know some kids can't stand they folks and other folks-folks too. I hope that is not the case cause I am sending you the biggest motherly hug that you could imagine. :-D
You know you suppose to hug after that song you suggested we all sing(wink).
I think the treatment afforded me is most appropriate and I appreciate it.
I just think it's interesting how nice some people are being to this "mom", whereas many of you would jump at the chance to rip a newbie a new one for asking pretty much the same questions. Make your own conclusions, but some of this poster's comments are a little suspect :???:
I AGREE. All her posts seem a lil off to me... :???:
).
In case you can't tell, I really have nothing to hide as relates to HBCU's and my queries as a mom of an HBCU student. Of course I have to hide my son's identity adn not reveal his college...
You may also find that 99.9% of the folks on the HBCUCONNECT do not share your suspicions. Why on earth would you want to throw salt? Maybe you can take this interaction and information as a step in learning to trust, observe and not jump to erroneous and negative conclusions.
Finally,{ I gotta get back to work,} I am taken aback that you would attack your other Greek Fam posters for being patient, generous and polite to a mother or to any other poster. Despite the banter and good ribbing that you all give one another I urge you to take pride in the fact that your fellow posters were certainly raised right and have the hearts to be respectful in a world where too many people will cuss a mom, dad, etc. completely out.
That aside, I have read numerous post by newbies and although I am not greek, I too have felt the frustration that some of you have expressed to them. I took pride and said to myself "gee, even I know that!" :-D
Lastly, I have been very respectful of every BGLO that I have posted about because I am not here to hurt, enrage or start something negative. Just this morning, while on my way to work, I told other moms that they should of course go to the BGLO formal websites but they could also come here if they want additional perspectives, guidance and insight.
Have a wonderful, fun and blessed day.
that's kinda mean, but I mo leave it) My son and all his friends do post questions here. I sent them this site months ago when I was lurking and they were being Freshmen and asking they momma's about what they thought about certain frats/soros. I gave my two cents and refered them to you...this site.
Be it luck, intelligence or whatever, but my son has NEVER gotten ripped or gotten one not so nice response. Again, you do not give your fellow posters or newbies enough credit :-(
Your not being mean. This thread simply gets under your skin for some reason. I don't know how you relate to or tolerate your folks and that is none of my internet business. I know some kids can't stand they folks and other folks-folks too. I hope that is not the case cause I am sending you the biggest motherly hug that you could imagine. :-D
You know you suppose to hug after that song you suggested we all sing(wink).
I think the treatment afforded me is most appropriate and I appreciate it.
