Your car, no matter what year it is has only three hubcaps.
You a girl under 18 that has at least two chilren.
Anywhere you go in the city you can see the two Television Towers.
People give you a ten digit telephone number.
You know how to get anywhere on the MTA.
You can go 1 inch across the city line and know that you're out of the city.
You've ever gotten 6 peices of chicken for $1.99 that fit on one slice of bread.
Cops constantly pull your car over if you have an orange Maryland Tag.
You've know where every Red Light Camera is.
You've been to a church that is a reconditioned rowhouse
You ignore every No Turn On Red Sign
You've wondered where the Freeway between Franklin and Mulberry Street was supposed to go to.
You've been to the store to buy a 40, a pack of cigarettes, a roll of toilet paper and nothing else.
When the traffic light turns yellow you look over to the right for a red light camera.
You've made it through downtown in 5 minutes.
You still have SuperBowl 35 Flags on your car. Raven 34 Giants 7.
You have a car sound system but no car.
A trip to Washington DC includes a $13.00 Marc train Ticket. HECK YEAH
You could be 20 feet away from somebody and they will walk in front of your moving car to cross the street.
The further away from the city you work, the better the pay is.
It is Bawl-mer or Ball-tee-more - not "Baltimore", depending on if you live north or south of Rt. 40.
You don't wash your clothes, you "warsh" them.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere, Baltimore has its own version of traffic rules.... "Hold on & pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Baltimore ... we all drive like that.
All directions start with... "The Beltway...."....which has no beginning and no end.
The morning rush hour is from 6am to 11am, the evening rush hour is from 1pm to 7pm... Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase "Oh, we're in GLIMBURNIE!"
If someone actually has their turn signal on it is probably a factory defect.
Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.
All old ladies with blue hair and Buicks have the right of way. PERIOD
The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85mph, anything less is considered downright ****.
If the humidity is 98+ and the temperature is 98+ it's May/June/July/August/September.
If it is 10 degrees, it is Orioles Opening Day.
If it is 110 degrees, it is opening day at Ravens Stadium.
If you go to a football game, pay the $75.00 to park in the "Ravens Lot." Parking elsewhere could cost up to $7500.00 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc.
If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard during Preakness ... run over him! It's probably not his yard anyway.
HFStival is not only a yearly tradition but it is one of the biggest parties of the year
You understand that Old Bay is essential to have a good meal
Your entire high school senior class went to Ocean City for a senior week and it was the best week of your life
You can pronouce Havre de Grace
You understand that the Terps and the Ravens kick major ****
You Know You're From Georgia When...
Sweet tea is THE drink. No questions. too bad I don't like tea
When a waitress asks what you want to drink and you say Coke, she asks "What kind?" had a couple ask me that too
"Ya'll" is a word. ...really? No sh*t
Atlanta is known as "The City."
You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.
The one way to be **** in .5 seconds is to talk about somebody's mama or talk bad to somebody's mama. damn right
Krispy Kreme dounuts are the only kind of dounuts you eat. ratio of Krispy Kreme and Dunkin' Donuts is like 8:1
Fried chicken is a major part of your diet.
When the Goverment started telling people to stock up on duck tape, you were waaaaaaaaaay ahead of them.
You walk into someone's house and people are sitting around smoking what they call "the garden"
On one side of the road there's Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field
yeah maybe somewhere like Thomson
You greet people with"Howdy, Whachu doin?" umm...no
You know what a 'dawg' is.
You know people who consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. my uncles
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
You still call the refrigerator the "icebox". lol, my dad always called it that
You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your new sweater.
Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or just the threat of snow hell yeah
You know at least three streets named "Peachtree" yup :lol:
You don't know anyone who drinks Pepsi.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger... unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. sure is
People actually grow, eat and like okra! ain't nothin like fried okra
You punctuate every sentence with, "You know" at least twice. TRUE
You want olive ****, not mayonnaise on your "hoagie". TRUE
You hate the Redskins
You hate Dallas. VERY TRUE.....................mEGan
You realize that your favorite dessert is "wooder ice". TRUE
You find yourself using "yo" and "youse guys" when talking long-distance to family members. VERY TRUE
You know how to spell Schuylkill.
You pronounce ACME "ACK-A-ME".
You think that $2,500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a bargain.
You find youself at a nice restaurant thinking "I wonder if they have cheese steaks?"
You sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens.
You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is. TRUE
You can't eat french fries without Cheese Whiz. TRUE
You call sprinkles on top of your ice cream cone "jimmies". TRUE
You don't think Wawa sounds funny. TRUE.....I LOVE WAWA
You snub a cheese steak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.
Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles all live on the same block.
You know who Jim O'Brien is and how he died.
You can't imagine lunch without a Tastycake. TRUE
You're still not sure about Jerry Penacolli.
A vacation at the Jersey shore (pronounced "Down the shoore") is better than going to an island (there's more stuff to do, plus you know everybody.)
You know where to find the Rocky statue. TRUE
You know that only tourists go to Geno's, Pat's and Jim's for authentic cheese steaks.
You only go if you're **** and it's 3:00 a.m.
You can make a cheese steak and you've never been taught
You've never been to the Liberty Bell, or the only time you were there was on a class trip in third grade. TRUE.... I NEVER BEEN THERE
You know what and where "Boathouse Row" is TRUE
You will buy a pretzel from anyone, anywhere without even thinking of where it was - or where his hands have been. TRUE
You can't imagine a breakfast without scrapple.
You don't know what a sub is, but you think they are trying to describe an imitation HOAGIE.
You aren't a bandwagon Sixers fan…you loved them when they sucked, and before they had A.I. TRUE
You go to The Gallery or South Street in the summer time just to chill.
You have the pizza place on speed dial. TRUE
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Philadelphia.
I only put the ones I could relate to......overall it seems pretty accurate to me for Los Angeles
You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie
You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
You can't fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.
You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.
You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310." <<<310 is where it's at but the rest of the statement applies to snobby **** white people :x
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday. *smh*
When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
Someone sent me this on facebook. Imma post the stuff that I know about though......
If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to a Randall's Flagship, a Kroger Signature, a Rice Epicurean, or soon, an HEB Central Market to buy bread and milk (but you have to dress up!)
You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
You have a Roach Story: You opened your flatware drawer to find a roach the size of the Taco Bell chihuahua. He stood up and looked you in the eye. You closed the drawer, bought new flatware -- and stored it in the oven.
When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes; you know he just stepped in a fire ant bed.
You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.
You come to work in short-sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue-tailed norther" has blown through, and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes.
You wander into a section of town where you can't read the street signs because they're written in Asian characters instead of English, but you don't care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there.
You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two cross-dressers on roller blades, holding hands.
The "**** Bees" are not stinging insects.
You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window-shop.
You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.
You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.
For a Chili Cookoff, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with chopped -- not ground -- beef, and it has NO beans and NO tomatoes.
Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year.
This all Imma post now cuz it's gettin long
You Know you from Arizona when....
*The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
*It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.
*You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
*You can pronounce"Saguaro", "Tempe", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", and "Cholla
*You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!
*You hear people say "but it's a DRY heat!"
*If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.
*You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
These are all very true
Your car, no matter what year it is has only three hubcaps.
You a girl under 18 that has at least two chilren....see dats just wrong[/blue]
Anywhere you go in the city you can see the two Television Towers.
People give you a ten digit telephone number.
You know how to get anywhere on the MTA. True and when u start drivin u still use da way da bus goes [/blue]
You can go 1 inch across the city line and know that you're out of the city.
You've ever gotten 6 peices of chicken for $1.99 that fit on one slice of bread.
Cops constantly pull your car over if you have an orange Maryland Tag.
You've know where every Red Light Camera is. TRUE [/blue]
You've been to a church that is a reconditioned rowhouse
You ignore every No Turn On Red Sign
You've wondered where the Freeway between Franklin and Mulberry Street was supposed to go to.
You've been to the store to buy a 40, a pack of cigarettes, a roll of toilet paper and nothing else.
When the traffic light turns yellow you look over to the right for a red light camera.
You've made it through downtown in 5 minutes.
You still have SuperBowl 35 Flags on your car. Raven 34 Giants 7.
You have a car sound system but no car.
A trip to Washington DC includes a $13.00 Marc train Ticket. HECK YEAH
You could be 20 feet away from somebody and they will walk in front of your moving car to cross the street.
The further away from the city you work, the better the pay is.
It is Bawl-mer or Ball-tee-more - not "Baltimore", depending on if you live north or south of Rt. 40.
You don't wash your clothes, you "warsh" them.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere, Baltimore has its own version of traffic rules.... "Hold on & pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Baltimore ... we all drive like that.
All directions start with... "The Beltway...."....which has no beginning and no end.
The morning rush hour is from 6am to 11am, the evening rush hour is from 1pm to 7pm... Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase "Oh, we're in GLIMBURNIE!"
If someone actually has their turn signal on it is probably a factory defect.
Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.
All old ladies with blue hair and Buicks have the right of way. PERIOD
The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85mph, anything less is considered downright ****.
If the humidity is 98+ and the temperature is 98+ it's May/June/July/August/September.
If it is 10 degrees, it is Orioles Opening Day.
If it is 110 degrees, it is opening day at Ravens Stadium.
If you go to a football game, pay the $75.00 to park in the "Ravens Lot." Parking elsewhere could cost up to $7500.00 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc.
If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard during Preakness ... run over him! It's probably not his yard anyway.
HFStival is not only a yearly tradition but it is one of the biggest parties of the year
You understand that Old Bay is essential to have a good meal
Your entire high school senior class went to Ocean City for a senior week and it was the best week of your life
You can pronouce Havre de Grace
You understand that the Terps and the Ravens kick major ****
You see more Texan flags than American flags.
You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
You dress up to go shopping at the mall.
You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree.
You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.
You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.
You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud
Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department
You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents
You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.
You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"
You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.
Your Pastor wears boots.
There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.
Sounds stereotypical and obviously referring to white folks. More specifically, rednecks, cause the white folks I see aren't cowboys and wear boots and stuff.
The real You kno u from DC when.... (By Me)
- You kno more Cowboys, 49ers, and Raiders fans than Redskins fans
- Nobody was a Wizards fan until 4 years ago when Jordan came
- You just dont like Baltimore.....and you dont know why
- Unless youre from the Southside you wouldnt be caught **** at Unifest cuz you might be found **** at Unifest
- You wear running shoes to Georgia Ave Day
- You think Howard students are stuck up
- You kno what mumbo sauce is
- You have a Northface and Nikeboots
- Your favorite rapper is Los from BYB
- You hate the song Skeet Skeet by DJ Flexx and Lil Jon
- You listen to the chick who sung "5 oclock in the morning" on the radio every evening
- You know find out what neighborhoods are beefin at the gogo
- You think Rare Essences "Pieces of Me" sounds alot better than Ashlee Simpson
- You hear the gogo cover for songs before u hear the original (ie. "Make Dat **** Clap", "Addicted", "Can You Handle It")
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
You still call the refrigerator the "icebox". lol, my dad always called it that
You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your new sweater.
Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or just the threat of snow hell yeah
You know at least three streets named "Peachtree" yup :lol:
You don't know anyone who drinks Pepsi.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger... unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. sure is
People actually grow, eat and like okra! ain't nothin like fried okra
but the rest of the statement applies to snobby **** white people :x
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday. *smh*
When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
