Sigh...
Just opened the mail. I got the the bill for my sons HBCU for the fall of 05 and the Spring of 06...
I just ain't feelin it :-(
Partna's grades were decent. He still been a handful this Summer but it just don't feel like it felt this time last year when he was going to be a Freshman.
I am lookin at upwards of 25K for the tuition and fees...We put him in a spankin brand new apartment so that's another 6K. We gotta do about 4 or 5 round trip air fares...August, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and Homecoming for me and the hubby... His spending money runs about 400 hundred a month which is another 4K...He don't got no new clothes or shoes so Im mo have to get him sumthin...Books and supplies is gonna be about 600 hundred cause he in the B school...We gotta ship all his stuff back which is another 300 hundred bucks...Partna wants us to ship his car as he is gonna get the B-mer in August...I gotta help him set up his apartment...This is the short list when I think of some other expenses for him...
So, we talkin about...40K... Son will bring aproximately 3K to the table after his Summer work is done.
We got it but, I just ain't motivated to break him off like this but, I ain't gonna fake on him...HELP....
Give me some inspiration, motivation...fo real! NO HATIN...thanks!
Gosh...
Miss Oes:
You didn't have to call me old...
I re-read my response back to you and I do not see what you see. In light of that I apologize if I offended, insulted, was rude or was not correct in your opinion.
I thought that the icon was a smurk. I just clicked on it on sure enough the words confused are right there. I was under the impression that you were implying that I was lying or being deceptive. My bad.
This is clearly the internet so I know that if my real life concerns get to be too much I know just where to take them. To God. I know that folks on the internet really don't care about me or you or anybody.
On the financial my son's hbcu had significant fiscal changes. For their planning purposes and for the planning purposes of the families they had a responsibility to included the Spring tuition and fees to be informative. This info came with my bill. Last year I paid the whole thing...our account was credited when Spring came and that was how they GLADLY did that.
Having paid private school tuition for many many years we were always required to pay the whole annual cost up front. I simply continued the process when our son became a college freshman.
Your indignation with me cause me to take another look at the bill/statement. Your real knowledge about registration, billing and possible scenarios for semesters pushed me to contact my sons hbcu.
I asked them questions that you put together for me in your post and was told that since I had not signed up for FACTS (go figure) that they were doing what they did last year based on what I did last year which was pay the whole tuition and fees up front, one check, done deal. They then said that of course I did not HAVE to do it that way again.
So, Miss Oes: THANK YOU! You saved me money up front and you taught me to READ and to ask questions.
You know more than alil sumthin about college finances and you taught me not to be such an arrogant know-it-all.
Thank you and again, I do sincerely apologize if my tone was foul, funky and ignorant.
To All Who Read This Thread:
I am REALLY REALLY sorry. I came here complaining about nuthing. I forgot for a minute that folks have all kinds of financial struggles and that my post was completely selfish and juvenile.
Through God's grace someone DID help me. Like they say in church...be careful what you ask for...you just might get it!
My apologies for my clearly being a real bad mom on this one. I hope that you forgive me for this.
When writing or speaking to a group, you have to know your target audience. I think a lot of the negative feedback could have been avoided by recognizing that these are young people from various backgrounds. Many have loans and work to help defray the cost of education. Why speak to them about Navi's and Bmers if you don't know if all of the audience can relate? That's why they accuse you of bragging. Save all the name dropping for your peers. Maybe after a Facet meeting, Links, or J&J activity. It would be perfectly ok to discuss financial planning, your latest St John's outfit and summer in the Hamptons or the Vineyard . Not here.
Wile:
I asked for help so I take your input as such. Thank you.
WHEW!
I ain't gonna front and if that means I write too much of my/my sons business on the internet then so be it. I gotta vent and my family and our minister ain't hearin it....no more.
My son's friends mother's and my friend's are no better at these kinds of decisions than I am so here it is. I choose to post.
We just had another knock-down-drag-out over the apartment, car and the spending money. Nothing is "working" right.
I am feeling guilty about the apartment. He seriously does not deserve it. What got me in the gut was that his college brought that to my attention during my chat with them about the bill/statement. He could go back into dorm living which they perfer. Sophomores, from their experience do not know how to handle apartment life. I can not see our son in his own apartment AND handling school, " pledging" and the rest.
The car is a debacle. Husband is livid and oh so fed up with me giving son everything. He says the car ain't goin nowhere. Son is all baby-face with me about that. I can tell that hubby is serious and that this ain't over.
The spending money amount just don't make any sense...We will re-visit that too. Son is balking and making noise on that too.
My mom did says that he does not have to fly home so much. She actually said : "That lil "n" word needs to get somewhere and sit his black blank down. He would fly out in August and he would see me in May... if he wanna get the greyhound then let him but no, you doin too much"
It is trully a mess. He know it, I know it and his hbcu friends know it which brings me to my next point...
So what that I post on the net. What might happen...someone comes up to son and says...yo moms posted your business on the internet...AND???? What is the next sentence like?
Someone comes up to me and says gee, you posted your sons business on the internet...AND??
Much ado about nothing as far as postin on the net. So what. What is the fear? What? I am not on Facebook profilin and postin about the son. I have read details, names, specific details with pictures about people on the internet. What I do here on hbcuconnect don't even come close to puttin his business on the net. Nor do I strivve to come close. I just want to float some things with a population that might be able to add a perspective...that's all.
Wile: I do not want to reneg on what I have given son but I need a strategy to build in the "earning" part. I also gotta take the B-mer off the table. He don't want his tricked out Capri to college because he wants a "whip" to drive when he comes home...There. I said what he said.
Sigh...
Just opened the mail. I got the the bill for my sons HBCU for the fall of 05 and the Spring of 06...
I just ain't feelin it :-(
Partna's grades were decent. He still been a handful this Summer but it just don't feel like it felt this time last year when he was going to be a Freshman.
I am lookin at upwards of 25K for the tuition and fees...We put him in a spankin brand new apartment so that's another 6K. We gotta do about 4 or 5 round trip air fares...August, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and Homecoming for me and the hubby... His spending money runs about 400 hundred a month which is another 4K...He don't got no new clothes or shoes so Im mo have to get him sumthin...Books and supplies is gonna be about 600 hundred cause he in the B school...We gotta ship all his stuff back which is another 300 hundred bucks...Partna wants us to ship his car as he is gonna get the B-mer in August...I gotta help him set up his apartment...This is the short list when I think of some other expenses for him...
So, we talkin about...40K... Son will bring aproximately 3K to the table after his Summer work is done.
We got it but, I just ain't motivated to break him off like this but, I ain't gonna fake on him...HELP....
Give me some inspiration, motivation...fo real! NO HATIN...thanks!
Not to sound like i am "hatin'" but why are you discussing your finances with us.. I don't really want to know about your sounds 'brand new apartment' altough i am happy a brotha got a place to live and what not but honestly ma'm thats really none of my business, but i guess discussing your finances is something to boost your ego.. i dunno smells funny.. well anyway if its not i apologize, and hope that you get everything together with your son's tution..
Egg zac ta mento People are slowly but surely seing the light...
Yessum, I hath to agree with 7l-l3 l3l2377 on this one....why is she always talking about Spoiling her son on a Website off the Internet?...It just shows she is shallow and has something to prove to a bunch of people that she just does not know.....
"Well, I'm giving my son a beamer....his apartment.....his 400 dollars a month spending and his grades arent good and he loves to smoke and drink and act all disrespectful to me and my husband..but he loves those 5 pairs of jordans and 20 polos we just bought him because were rich as hell".....
has she said anything about her son positive?......or is she just bragging that she is just shallow,materialistic?
Come back when your son has actually accomplished something on a level where we can go "Nice, Work"
I feel sorry for your son, it seems like his work ethic is garbage because you are spoiling the hell out of him at such a late age...I can see spoiling a kid early...but he is grown now...stop buying him Sh*t and we are tired of hearing it.....Go take a cruise with your husband and get off the internet.
::hands College Mom a phonebook:: call a psyche quick, because you seriously have some issues that scream everytime you post a worthless thread on this board
btw.....why is your son at an HBCU :???:
Roll Tide!!!!
I was actually gonna make the say comment. Maybe you and your family need family counseling cause clearly your mother and husband see you spoil your grown son WAY too much with things he doesnt deserve or worked hard for. I said maybe yall should seek counseling cause it comes off to me you need your sons approval and you dont want him getting angry with you for you not getting him what he wants...and then u feel guilty and give in. Your only making things worse by not allowing him to work for what he has and receive everything on a golden platter. Just my take on the whole thing.
Senior Guest:
Noted...Thanks!
BB:
I WILL BE STAYIN...try and run someone else off. Let son take care of son. You take care of you. I'll take care of me and so on so forth.
AND...get it straight: He don't drink, he spends WAY more than 4 hundred a month, his grades are decent, he don't disrespect my husband, and good grief where on earth did you get 5 Jordan's from...try over 70 pairs.
20 polo...never mind...
Make sure that you post back when YOU accomplish "something" so we can internet validate you and say "nice, work". Now,you go grab that phone book and do what you told me to do.
FYI: It was never my intention to "Brag". That you see everyday facts and information as bragging speaks volumes to your intellect, insight and internet psychological assessment of "college mom". Note: I care...right!
That you posted what you did...how you did after my sincere apology for what I did is simply a move on your part that revealed the true content of your character. You clearly mean me, my son or HBCUCONNECT no good. You made yourself look horrible in the process.
I do not come here to fight or cause problems.
I have not talked about you and in the future I would appreciate it if you could contain yourself and not talk about "me".
Peace
Miss Oes:
Thank you. We are a work in progress and I value the professional and spiritual assistance that we are blessed to have. I have to be more patient and the bill/statement dug up more of my guilt issues. On that...I really can not thank you enough for what you did for me. Thanks!
Tripy thing...I was trying to figure out how to tell the son that I did not have the now extra money...like its his business.
Rabitt:
I loves you too. I am in the midst of a self created storm...I'll be alright!
I got more post to post and more to learn. I just gotta make some adjustments...Im mo still do me...worry not!
People are slowly but surely seing the light...
