Man today is Fathers day and Im tryin to reflect on the father that I never had. Then I see how hard it was for my mom to struggle and make it tryin to raise a child on her own. But the thing thats gettin me is all these dudes out here in the world denyin thier children. I mean every other day on Maury its some dude talkin bout the kids isnt his only in most cases to be proven wrong. Its time for us young brothas to wake up forreal man. Alot of the problems goin on in the black community stem from the lack of a strong family background. INCLUDING lack of a father. Forreal alot of the things lil youngins out here doin today wouldnt be happenin if there was a dad in the home. Lil 14 and 15 year old girls wouldnt be gettin pregnant if pops was there to show them the love they need. Lil **** wouldnt be out here robbin and killin each other if pops was in the home teachin them about life, playin ball with them, or just watchin the game wit em. Lil girls out here lookin for love from a male figure so they out here sleepin around thinkin thats gonna give em love (NOT ALL BUT SOME). Lil dudes be lookin up to dudes they see being successful and since it aint dad they lookin to rappers and ballers and **** out here on the street. Moms be tryin to raise a family but she cant be there for her kids and be at work at the same time. So dudes go out there and slang tryin to help moms put money on the table. So now lil youngins lookin up to the dudes slangin cuz they see that they makin money. It went from hustlin cuz u have to to now hustlin cuz u want to. Im just one of the lucky few that had strong females around me teachin me right from wrong.....
And thats real talk..... your comments are appreciated
I feel you Rod. The fact that fathers are out of the equation has made a huge impact on society and has just created a chain reaction. Daughter w/ no fathers go out and duplicate the same situation that they grew up in because of that, and males w/ no fathers grow up and make the same mistakes. Some of us here, I can tell, that we are the ones who were able to adapt. We see a lot of mothers having to play both roles. Truly a mother can never really replace a father, but she can be very effective and still raise a successful child. It takes adaption with the mother and the child to be able to succeed without a father. Sure, there's a natural void left, but yo, my daddy ain't been around and I'm makin it. My brotha, sadly, isn't doin the same thing currently and I believe one big reason for that is because it's so many things that he didn't learn that was so essential for him to know in life. I thank God because I learned how to grow into a young man. No front at all, I still sometimes look for that natural void to be filled, but when I think about how far I've made it without a natural father, I think and realize that if I've made it this far without him then I surely can keep goin. God wouldn't put me in a situation that I couldn't stand and succeed in.
I don't look at myself as unfortunate in this situation either, because he's the one that's missin out. God gave men, to be men in the family. That's their job when they have kids. As we all know, when someone like God gives you a job, it's gonna pay off. He was picked for the job and didn't come through, so he lost his pay. But hey...I'm still here so you know the job still was done.
Props on the topic....
Damn, this is a VERY good topic. It took me a minute to think to what to say in regards to this topic.
Back when I was younger I used to wish my parents were divorced, because I saw that all my friends parents were divorced and they all got to live with their moms and do whatever they wanted. With my father being a preacher and all that, you know that wasn't goin down, he was REALLY strict and we used to argue ALOT.
But now that I'm older, I don't take my father for granted. True, most of what I learned about who to date and who to leave alone, I learned from my godbrothers and my cousin because my father wasn't around as much as he could have been. However, just having his presence in tha house made a HUGE difference. All my friends that grew up in single parent households and didn't have a good relationship with their fathers, every last one of them got kids.
oh yeah and I can't forget about how my father had my back when all that crap went down last fall when I ended up withdrawing from school. He helped me get all my stuff home, and kinda helped me hold it all together when I was about to fall apart. We dont always see eye to eye (especially not lately) but it's because of how he raised me (him and my mom) that I'm tha young woman that I am today.
Yea... I feel I was blessed to have my father around when I grew up and I felt bad for a lot of my friends that simply did not know or have their fathers around when they grew up. The fact is, you are right. Having a father or male father figure in the household with kids and young adults changes everything, and actually I'll change that to say a "dominant" male figure. I might as well be **** if I don't play an active role in raising my own kids. I remember as a teenager I would have been running the streets... Well let me rephrase that, I ran the streets a little bit but my dad was there to put a foot in my arse so that I did not make any huge mistakes. If he was not there them hormones would have taken over and who knows where I would be... I mean, look at me now... The reason I went to an HBCU was because my dad took my and my brother down to visit FAMU and Hampton in a hooptie and I made up my mind I was going to an HBCU, and it was because of him being there playing a role. Now I think some of us have to play dad to more than our own kids. Any kids we come in contact with that dont have that father figure is an opportunity to show love and help a kid out...
