On this evening, I was sitting out a record when a thought came to me. If a man were to say, "I'm going to be in charge and you're going to follow. I want you to adjust your ways to fit in with mine" I'd dismiss him as a Neanderthal. With my hand on my hip, I'd tell him that I have just as much sense as he does and that he can't tell me what to do. Yet, on the dance floor, I love following a man's lead. I don't feel inferior because my part is different from his, and I don't feel I have to prove that I'm just as able to lead as he is. I simply allow him to take my hand, and I go with the flow.
Thats an interesting perspective. She made some very good points. I believe that both black women AND men have something that we really need to work on with ourselves when it comes to these things called love and commitment. I know not everybody would agree with her, especially other black women but personally I do like her perspective.
As a strong black Independent women myself I truly understand how tough it is out here to be a strong black women. I did not have a father figure in the home so I learned how to rely on myself and God to get me where I am today. I agree with the author on some aspects but it is not always on us women. Truly it is nothing wrong with being ambitious and striving and saying you don't need a man to carry you through. Women have gotten hurt so many times that the one thing that they know they can accomplish is there goals and dreams even if a man does not come there way. Yes, some women are to independent and there ambitions may run men away because they are just to into themselves but on the other side; there are some women that are ambitious and do pray every day for that right man to come along and they are willing to give a bit of themselves to there mate. As women though, I can say after working hard to become something great I would not want to give it up for anything. No good man should expect you to. Times has changed and with everything else to make a relationship work that requires both parties not just one person giving all to much and the other sitting there all high and mighty. If you are with the right man he should want the best for you and you should want the same too. Sometimes I wounder if the right guy will come alone but I know that God will give me that right guy when it is time and he will respect my Independence and love me for it, because that is what true love is all about. Black men should Love Black women for there strongness because it was a women that had them. Being married does mean to summit to a certain astint but it does not mean to give up everything you stand for and sit back and wither up no, to have a happy home both parties must be happy. If a women decides to give alot of themselves than so be it.
I think that this problem is overblown.
I agree that both men and women have learned to become defensive, and with good reason.
I think that the whole idea of men needing women to pander to their emotions is a fallacy. If someone is strong in character, then they will gain respect by default, and don't have to ask for it. Those who have to force people to respect them do not deserve it.
Likewise, the exchange goes both ways. If anyone, male or female, shows that they don't need or want someone in their life, the world will be glad to oblige.
Realistically, we don't need a partner to survive in life, but in balance, the right person can make life more fulfilling. Holla!
