Sigh...
Ok, when you go back to your parents house during the summer how do you do it? What works? What does not work?
I understand that college kids are slow to get back into curfews, allowances, chores but I am stumped as for what is real.
We have asked our darling, wonderful and very social son to be home at a certain time during the week(11:00pm) and another time on the weekends(2:00am). We need to sleep, work and know that he is in safe.
We ask that he get up in time to get himself to work at the jobs that we got for him. I have driven him this whole week!
We ask that he not spend all his money( that we give him) in one day. Everyday I am opening my wallet giving him more money. His dad don't play that.
We ask that he not come in our house BLAZED. He comes in semi-blazed...thinks I am stupid...His dad is asleep when he crawls in.
He is cool with respecting the vehicles and he does clean up after himself ...mostly.
Am I doin' way too much? You know how dad's are. They are quick to say: "Get out of MY house"... I have given him the whole downstairs for the Summer. Husband says: That level is in the mortage too...
I just wanna have a nice Summer...HELP!!!
Sadly, I could really do one of those wrestling moves where I jump off something and land on him with elbows etc. I would probably wind up hurting myself.
Well Mom, i hope you found his lil ignorant black a$$ in good health, but heres my opinion. give him a hot week to get his stuff together. stop opening up your wallet everytime he asks for it, he's home now and working so what does he need to come to you for. i could understand if he was still in school, not working and needed a lil bit of money but he has to start growing up at somepoint and time
if he proclaims to be a grown man, then treat him as such. Dont wake him up for work, dont give him money, dont cook for him, make him pay some bills(my mom did it for me and it was the best thing she couldve done) mommy, and daddy cant bail him out all the time, cause if some bullsh*t happens he's responsible he goes to jail he gets the record, and you going infront of a judge saying "Im his mommy let him go" isnt goin to work. but if you are givin him money and still taking care of him then MAKE THE BLOCK HOT AND EMBARASS HIS BLACK ****, cause at some point, your gonna have to let go and he's goin to have to grow up
This is the time to **** the monster that you created. dont ask his opinion, tell him, then take a baseball bat to his **** if he decides to jump bad. ( i know it sounds simple coming from someone else but u have to do what you KNOW is best, we can only offer you so much information, and it may seem biased cause we are college students. but most of us are tryin to get you to do what are parents did for us.)
I could have been the same way your son is right now. But the thing that kept me from doing that was fear. Cuz I know for a fact if I would have did some bullshyt I would have been kicked out the house and cut off. Some say fear makes people more sneaky.... maybe but it also makes you respect authority. Hell I know if I ever got arrested that was the end for me. Nobody was gonna run down and bail me out hug me and say it would be ok. It might be too late now though.... But hell you can always try
I think by now i woulda let my husband change the locks...
and when he tries to come home only to find that his key don't work and he cant get in..maybe he would appreciate what it is you do as his parents....and i kno its hard for some parents (mothers especially) to get **** their children...but the whole "he's my son...and he's innocent" bull has gone out the window...there is no time to be acting soft...he needs to learn his lesson the HARD way...prayerfully he won't get hurt physically while out there doing God knows what....but prayerfully he'll get some sense knocked into him
I could have been the same way your son is right now. But the thing that kept me from doing that was fear. Cuz I know for a fact if I would have did some bullshyt I would have been kicked out the house and cut off. Some say fear makes people more sneaky.... maybe but it also makes you respect authority. Hell I know if I ever got arrested that was the end for me. Nobody was gonna run down and bail me out hug me and say it would be ok. It might be too late now though.... But hell you can always try
You know what... I didn't know what to tell this lady... But that's exactly what it is. I was scared nobody would help me if I did some ****like that.
As far as I can see everyone is more or less giving up some good advice. I say you start charging him to stay in your house and see how he like it. That money he puttin in to whatever, start charging him rent to stay in his room. If you take him to work charge him for your gas. It just seems like he is gettin off free, because talkin can only do so much. Sometimes people need to see. If you have connections, have some people pick him up and act like he going to county or something. I know that will have him thinkin. Then again you don't have to do a high flying wrestlin move, when he not payin attention straight clothesline him. Bet that will get his attention. Seriously you really just need to teach him some kind of lesson. The only way he can grow is to learn.
Major THANKS to all of you! I really needed the laughs as well.
Church was good even though I was frontin' with folks. They was all asking bout' son and how nice it must be to have him home from college and blah, blah, blah... I could see their mouths movin' but I wasn't hearin' nuthin. They don't know his **** is AWOL...sadly, church folks are also the LAST folks to be tellin your business too...They all luv him and were asking where was he this morning? I lied in the Lord's house and said that he was probably going to be at the 11:00am service...
Being all black middle class is a burden too. No one keeps it real like many of you. I have to call the family "outcast" for the backup that I am about to need. They do love him but many say he been needing his **** whooped for a long time...tell us when AND..."can I hold sumthin'? :o
So, about yesterday late afternoon...: Hubby and I "found" him. He all claimin' he tried to call, he should have called and all that. I asked him which was it? Movin on, he had the NERVE to tell us that he would be home at 1:00AM(!). Hubby went bad. He even had me a tad bit scared...
The result we NEVER saw son. He came into the house (even though we had a big ole note on the doe, basically tellin him to not go in until we got back...) while we were out, ate, left dishes and did not re-set the house alarm. I guess that stands for "F" you mom and dad?
This afternoon, I am going to let go and let God. That is part one. Next, I am going to ask God to forgive me for the things that I am about to do...
Son's got 50 zillion pairs of Jordons, twice as many hats, expensive shirts, priceless jeans...every electronic gadget known to man and ninety nine "gals" callin here AND on my cell. I been Mrs. nice, educated, upstanding, mom of popular son covering fo' his ****.
The options as I see them are quite numerous...First, I mo pray some more...
Major THANKS to all of you! I really needed the laughs as well.
Church was good even though I was frontin' with folks. They was all asking bout' son and how nice it must be to have him home from college and blah, blah, blah... I could see their mouths movin' but I wasn't hearin' nuthin. They don't know his **** is AWOL...sadly, church folks are also the LAST folks to be tellin your business too...They all luv him and were asking where was he this morning? I lied in the Lord's house and said that he was probably going to be at the 11:00am service...
Being all black middle class is a burden too. No one keeps it real like many of you. I have to call the family "outcast" for the backup that I am about to need. They do love him but many say he been needing his **** whooped for a long time...tell us when AND..."can I hold sumthin'? :o
So, about yesterday late afternoon...: Hubby and I "found" him. He all claimin' he tried to call, he should have called and all that. I asked him which was it? Movin on, he had the NERVE to tell us that he would be home at 1:00AM(!). Hubby went bad. He even had me a tad bit scared...
The result we NEVER saw son. He came into the house (even though we had a big ole note on the doe, basically tellin him to not go in until we got back...) while we were out, ate, left dishes and did not re-set the house alarm. I guess that stands for "F" you mom and dad?
This afternoon, I am going to let go and let God. That is part one. Next, I am going to ask God to forgive me for the things that I am about to do...
Son's got 50 zillion pairs of Jordons, twice as many hats, expensive shirts, priceless jeans...every electronic gadget known to man and ninety nine "gals" callin here AND on my cell. I been Mrs. nice, educated, upstanding, mom of popular son covering fo' his ****.
The options as I see them are quite numerous...First, I mo pray some more...
Do what you gotta do.
It'd be a shame for all that stuff to go to waste tho. *cough*
12 Apollo Lane, Baltimore Maryland 21133.
Some more Jordans for the collection would be taken open-handedly.
Major THANKS to all of you! I really needed the laughs as well.
Church was good even though I was frontin' with folks. They was all asking bout' son and how nice it must be to have him home from college and blah, blah, blah... I could see their mouths movin' but I wasn't hearin' nuthin. They don't know his **** is AWOL...sadly, church folks are also the LAST folks to be tellin your business too...They all luv him and were asking where was he this morning? I lied in the Lord's house and said that he was probably going to be at the 11:00am service...
Being all black middle class is a burden too. No one keeps it real like many of you. I have to call the family "outcast" for the backup that I am about to need. They do love him but many say he been needing his **** whooped for a long time...tell us when AND..."can I hold sumthin'? :o
So, about yesterday late afternoon...: Hubby and I "found" him. He all claimin' he tried to call, he should have called and all that. I asked him which was it? Movin on, he had the NERVE to tell us that he would be home at 1:00AM(!). Hubby went bad. He even had me a tad bit scared...
The result we NEVER saw son. He came into the house (even though we had a big ole note on the doe, basically tellin him to not go in until we got back...) while we were out, ate, left dishes and did not re-set the house alarm. I guess that stands for "F" you mom and dad?
This afternoon, I am going to let go and let God. That is part one. Next, I am going to ask God to forgive me for the things that I am about to do...
Son's got 50 zillion pairs of Jordons, twice as many hats, expensive shirts, priceless jeans...every electronic gadget known to man and ninety nine "gals" callin here AND on my cell. I been Mrs. nice, educated, upstanding, mom of popular son covering fo' his ****.
The options as I see them are quite numerous...First, I mo pray some more...
Do what you gotta do.
It'd be a shame for all that stuff to go to waste tho. *cough*
12 Apollo Lane, Baltimore Maryland 21133.
Some more Jordans for the collection would be taken open-handedly.
