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Answer This Question Posted on 08-21-2006
ladi UniQue

Why is it so hard for a female who has been hurt in so many relationship (or an relatinship) to trust any man or person she gets together with. Why do we blame the other person for something they did not do .
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replied on 08-21-2006 06:16PM [Reply]
IMO, I think much of it has to do with yourself. As you mature, you stop finger-pointing at others and really finger-point at yourself. If you aren't mature enough in yourself and come straight out with your expectations of the relationship, then yes you'll be hurt. Women tend to love and care wholeheartly whereas men (not all. ) but many look at relationships from a subjective point of view. They disregard the emotion and look at the logic. It's in their nature. If you know you, then you'll know when you're mature enough to handle a relationship because you won't let the past determine your future.
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The Big Girl Sweetz replied on 08-21-2006 08:40PM [Reply]
^^cosign ...when you say that females will blame the current man that they are with for the mistakes her past man has done....you are basically just saying that she is guarding her heart because she has been hurt so many times. It happens...and while yeah it sucks for the man who didn't do anything...its hard to let that guard down so easily. I feel for the men who have gone through this...i really do...but at the same time...i think the men who are in this situation just need to take some time with it....its not going to be easy...but if one man opens up the world to her...she will eventually learn to let go.....but if the man is impatient and not willing to try for this girl...then he is going to add to the problem. Im not trying to bash up on these men or anything....because the ladies also have a lot of growing to do within themselves.
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Carmelsun from Syracuse, NY replied on 02-06-2007 12:29PM [Reply]
It's hard because you don't want to end up in the same situation twice. If you've been through it once you take what you learned to make sure that it doesn't happen again. That does not mean that you stereotype all men as being the same. It means be careful. Your heart is something that should be won, a prize. Not just handed over carelessly to anyone who seems to have interest. That's having self-respect for yourself, and demanding it from anyone who wants to be a part of your life.
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Carmelsun from Syracuse, NY replied on 02-06-2007 12:29PM [Reply]
It's hard because you don't want to end up in the same situation twice. If you've been through it once you take what you learned to make sure that it doesn't happen again. That does not mean that you stereotype all men as being the same. It means be careful. Your heart is something that should be won, a prize. Not just handed over carelessly to anyone who seems to have interest. That's having self-respect for yourself, and demanding it from anyone who wants to be a part of your life.
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Carmelsun from Syracuse, NY replied on 02-06-2007 12:31PM [Reply]
It's hard because you don't want to end up in the same situation twice. If you've been through it once you take what you learned to make sure that it doesn't happen again. That does not mean that you stereotype all men as being the same. It means be careful. Your heart is something that should be won, a prize. Not just handed over carelessly to anyone who seems to have interest. That's having self-respect for yourself, and demanding it from anyone who wants to be a part of your life.
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Carmelsun from Syracuse, NY replied on 02-06-2007 12:38PM [Reply]
Sorry for posting 3 times, stupid computer was acting up!!!!
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jpbray replied on 02-06-2007 07:58PM [Reply]
love your post Carmelson!!! I am quite impressed with the ladies today. If I stick around, I might learn something.
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'manda replied on 02-06-2007 10:29PM [Reply]
this is *exactly* what i'm going through... i'm at a place right now where i'm scared to death to get into ANOTHER relationship, cuz i just got out of a really messy one... i'm thinkin, what if it ends up horribly like the last one did? what if the new guy starts actin up like the old one did? this prospect that's talking to me now; i can't open up to completely because i'm scared that i'm gonna get heartbroken again. maybe one day this whole breakin up and movin on thing will get easier for me, but right now it's tough. i feel bad for him, but i know i'd feel even worse if the same **** happened twice. so why do we blame the new guys for what the old guys did? because we're smart. and we're conscious of the fact that it might not work out, and we might get hurt; so we're keeping our guard up. time heals all wounds, though; and as long as you're up front with the new guy that you're still hurting, and he's willing to work through things with you, it should work out.
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1LUV from Houston, TX replied on 02-09-2007 03:28PM [Reply]
...As someone previously said time heals All wounds. It is sad to say but sometimes the good has to suffer for the bad. Not all guys are bad, but when a woman get a hold to one then she really can't look for the good in another guy until her wounds from the bad guy has truly healed....ya feel me? Being that I've just gotten out of a REALLY bad relationship that ended with a child being born, my gaurds are up and my heart is tucked away under very secure lock and key. I'm currently dating a very nice guy who more often than a little bit gets the sore end of the stick. He understands my actions (at times) but oftens asks "Why me??" In time I know my wounds will heal and he will get to experience a happier more better ME, but for now he's riding the waves of emotions......
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