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For the love of all that is holy, please explain (UPDATE) Posted on 06-01-2004
SuperFly

Okay, here's the scenario (I'd only read this if you have a nice chunk of time on your hands :roll: ): Way back in my freshman year, I met this young lady on MiGente.com. We started talking like everyday and got really close. When we were first conversing, she had a boyfriend, so I was only talking to her, because I enjoyed the conversation. She's a very intelligent young lady, and never fails to make me think every time that I talk to her. Over the course of time, her boyfriend began treating her badly, and that's when we actually started getting close. She started opening up to me a whole lot more than she used to. I did the same as well By the time Spring Break rolled around that year, we had plans to meet each other. I had no idea what she looked like, I just knew that she was a sweet person, and I wanted to at least spend some time with her. When she showed me a picture of herself the day before I was going to meet her (she goes to school in another city about an hour away), I was totally caught off guard. She was black! She goes a school where there's all of 30 black students (its a private girls' school), and she actually talked intelligently. From the moment that I first met her in person, she'd changed the way that I looked at women. She was the exact opposite from what I thought I wanted (light skin, long, natural hair). She was brown skinned, with braids, and she even had fake coloured contacts. But somehow she was the most gorgeous thing that I'd ever laid eyes on. So we met and went out, and after that we started getting closer. That summer, since we wouldn't be able to talk to each other on a regular basis (I was going to summer school and she was working and going to summer school in her home state), we decided that we'd write to each other. For her birthday, I sent her a little stuffed puppy and I burned some CDs that she wanted. When she got the puppy, she was thrilled. No one else had gotten her anything. So she named him and gave him a loving home. To make a long story short, up until now, I grew to have feelings for her. Through all of the times that she was happy and sad, I'd been there for her. I'd gotten to know her. This was the girl that had singlehandedly changed the way that I saw women. But there was a problem. I had to call her, but she wouldn't call me. I had to come and visit her, but Greensboro was too far for her to drive. Everytime I asked about us being more, she only dodged the question. So I stopped. I'd decided that I wasn't chasing after anyone. Especially people that can't call or visit or answer my questions. I don't care if she wasn't as privilaged as I and maybe couldn't afford to do it. Fast forward to this afternoon. I'm at work and I sign on to AOL, and shortly after, she pops up, and says something about how I haven't spoken to her in so long even thought the phone and the IM screen goes both ways as well. I haven't talked to her since Christmas Eve, and I thought that maybe she was trying to avoid me or something of the like. Come to find out, she has a good reason to have not said anything in so long. She's been going through hard times lately. Her father had been sick since about the time that I met her. Over the past couple of months, she's actually had to make the decision to pull the plug on oher father as well as take on all of his financial obligations and other things that come with someone's death. However, through this whole time, she's had the letters that I wrote her posted on some bulliten boards that were on her wall. They covered both of them. She's also had the puppy that I gave her where she can always keep her eyes on him. The whole time that I though maybe she didn't care about me anymore, she actually ended up thinking about me constantly. She had no choice, I was right there the whole time. I don't know what to do, I'm confused as hell because at the moment women **** me off, and I can't help but forgive her, because I care about her just that much. What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
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Wisdom_Tree from Texas City, TX replied on 06-01-2004 08:38PM [Reply]
AggieHighlander wrote:
Okay, here's the scenario (I'd only read this if you have a nice chunk of time on your hands :roll: ): Way back in my freshman year, I met this young lady on MiGente.com. We started talking like everyday and got really close. When we were first conversing, she had a boyfriend, so I was only talking to her, because I enjoyed the conversation. She's a very intelligent young lady, and never fails to make me think every time that I talk to her. Over the course of time, her boyfriend began treating her badly, and that's when we actually started getting close. She started opening up to me a whole lot more than she used to. I did the same as well By the time Spring Break rolled around that year, we had plans to meet each other. I had no idea what she looked like, I just knew that she was a sweet person, and I wanted to at least spend some time with her. When she showed me a picture of herself the day before I was going to meet her (she goes to school in another city about an hour away), I was totally caught off guard. She was black! She goes a school where there's all of 30 black students (its a private girls' school), and she actually talked intelligently. From the moment that I first met her in person, she'd changed the way that I looked at women. She was the exact opposite from what I thought I wanted (light skin, long, natural hair). She was brown skinned, with braids, and she even had fake coloured contacts. But somehow she was the most gorgeous thing that I'd ever laid eyes on. So we met and went out, and after that we started getting closer. That summer, since we wouldn't be able to talk to each other on a regular basis (I was going to summer school and she was working and going to summer school in her home state), we decided that we'd write to each other. For her birthday, I sent her a little stuffed puppy and I burned some CDs that she wanted. When she got the puppy, she was thrilled. No one else had gotten her anything. So she named him and gave him a loving home. To make a long story short, up until now, I grew to have feelings for her. Through all of the times that she was happy and sad, I'd been there for her. I'd gotten to know her. This was the girl that had singlehandedly changed the way that I saw women. But there was a problem. I had to call her, but she wouldn't call me. I had to come and visit her, but Greensboro was too far for her to drive. Everytime I asked about us being more, she only dodged the question. So I stopped. I'd decided that I wasn't chasing after anyone. Especially people that can't call or visit or answer my questions. I don't care if she wasn't as privilaged as I and maybe couldn't afford to do it. Fast forward to this afternoon. I'm at work and I sign on to AOL, and shortly after, she pops up, and says something about how I haven't spoken to her in so long even thought the phone and the IM screen goes both ways as well. I haven't talked to her since Christmas Eve, and I thought that maybe she was trying to avoid me or something of the like. Come to find out, she has a good reason to have not said anything in so long. She's been going through hard times lately. Her father had been sick since about the time that I met her. Over the past couple of months, she's actually had to make the decision to pull the plug on oher father as well as take on all of his financial obligations and other things that come with someone's death. However, through this whole time, she's had the letters that I wrote her posted on some bulliten boards that were on her wall. They covered both of them. She's also had the puppy that I gave her where she can always keep her eyes on him. The whole time that I though maybe she didn't care about me anymore, she actually ended up thinking about me constantly. She had no choice, I was right there the whole time. I don't know what to do, I'm confused as hell because at the moment women **** me off, and I can't help but forgive her, because I care about her just that much. What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
LoL, you know Im good for a response. In reading about your relationship, I can completely understand the feelings that you had in regards to the way that you felt like you had to carry the relationship between the two of you. Sometimes when people are used to always being IMed or always getting an email, they take it for granted and stop looking Forward to it and start Expecting it. Youll have to understand, tho, that if you truly feel everything you do for this girl, its OKAY to forgive her. Love is forgiving and knows no bounds, and if you truly feel for this girl you Have no choice but to see the situation for what it truly is. Do you have a reason to be angry? Hell yes you do, but thats no bearing on how she makes you feel. Why do men buy things for women? Its been a tradition since the beginning of time, and the reason we do it lies all within the feeling. Its the feeling of acceptance, the way her eyes spark up when she gets it and knowing that you cared enough to give it to her... it speaks a million words where what you say cant do quite as much. What you have with her isnt something to just give up because you all of a sudden dont like what other women have done in the past and dont like most of the gender because of what youve gone through. Shes not Them, she is unique and shouldnt be treated like you treat the other women you meet. All you can do is ask about it and live on. Life wont always be like this, because, as you grow older, you have more access to communication and will be able to talk (and maybe see) her all the time. If you can work through that then Im sure your work will pay off in long term happiness. Just sayin tho. *pats your back* :arrow:
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replied on 06-01-2004 10:56PM [Reply]
AggieHighlander wrote:
What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
they must be givin' those to jus anybody... :twisted:
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SuperFly replied on 06-01-2004 11:32PM [Reply]
MissGina10 wrote:
AggieHighlander wrote:
What scares me the most is that I might actually be having a heart... :roll: :evil: :arrow:
they must be givin' those to jus anybody... :twisted:
See... now I actually I'm coming to y'all for help and to perhaps end my bitterness for a while and I get this... :roll: I guess I'm jus' dat spesho'...
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La replied on 06-01-2004 11:45PM [Reply]
Is it possible for somebody to paraphrase alla that, cause aint no way on God's green earth, Im reading all that. :? :arrow:
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SuperFly replied on 06-01-2004 11:48PM [Reply]
MaMa_J wrote:
Is it possible for somebody to paraphrase alla that, cause aint no way on God's green earth, Im reading all that. :? :arrow:
Kinda hard if you don't know the whole story... what I typed was paraphrased. There's a lot more to it than what is there. :roll:
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replied on 06-02-2004 12:35AM [Reply]
the fact that she was thinking of YOU during her darkest days speaks volumes. just be patient, be understanding, and wait. The right choice will surface soon enough. Good Luck! 8)
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SuperFly replied on 06-02-2004 12:44AM [Reply]
HeaD_Turner wrote:
the fact that she was thinking of YOU during her darkest days speaks volumes. just be patient, be understanding, and wait. The right choice will surface soon enough. Good Luck! 8)
I've waited for two years... :roll: *holds up two fingers* That's the point of the post. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of no knowing where I stand with her. One minute she's aloof, next she drops me a damn bone. :roll:
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La replied on 06-02-2004 12:59AM [Reply]
Ok....I decided to stop being lazy and read your post. And Im glad I did...First off, you shoudnt feel bad that you werent speaking to her and she wasnt speaking to you. You didnt know that she wasnt talking to you because of uncontrollable circumstances involving her father. You thought she was avoiding you, and you shouldnt chase after anyone tht you think is avoiding you...and I agree wholeheartedly. The fact that she IMed you tonite saying she is still thinking of you and still has the puppy you sent her, obviously shows that you meant sumthing to her. I say you should definitely give this a second chance. She may be the love of your life and you dont realize it yet. I am a firm believer in fate, and fate is bringing yall to speak again...and hopefully more than that in the future. What do you have to lose??? I have never been in love, but for someone who wants to be in love, apart of dealing with that is the possibility of heartbokeness, but that isnt a reason not to give it a chance...Life is all about risks, and this is a perfect opportunity for you to take a risk that may positively benefit you in the future. Good Luck. :wink:
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SuperFly replied on 06-02-2004 01:04AM [Reply]
Dammit... I already love her, no matter what. Not just in that sense, but just as a person. She knows that. She's known it for two years. But I don't want to get my hopes up again only to be let down again.
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