Ok..I haven't been to church on the regular since I moved to the Chicago Area but before I moved I would go to church every sunday plus bible school and out side of the actually sermon my church was FULL of COMEDY..
1. I know this may seem mean but our choir had some kind of **** guy..I'm not sure if he could sing but he'd have on his BIG glasses(like Lil Darrell) and when the choir would clap he would always be off beat and he would clap LOUD as Hell..
2. One of our Deacons, couldn't see all that well or he couldn't read lol. When he would ask us to opend our books to So and So he'll read a scripture from another book..Someone would have to tell him to get on the right page..****..later he had a assistant to read from the book for him
3. Our church had a playground in the area and no patrol guy and when I was younger all of the kids would sneak out of church to have fun at the playground while we were supposed to be in church..
4. Why did this couple "Catch the holy ghost" 5 minutes after church started?? I mean..DAMN! They were running around and ish..lol
Well, that's all I have..Please share some memories about your church with us
...when I was young it was a lady that tried to 'lay hands' on people....but instead was punching them in their faces......everyone knew to duck when she came around and she started getting offended, she said those who were ducking and dodging were 'not of God'....it was hilarious!
I have noticed that every church I got to, where the ushers wear white suits at, they always have this one old lady with black stockings and white scuffed up shoes. LOL
I started going to Church this summer by myself...you know how you get to that point in your life where you have to start doing things without your parents making you.
Well since I've been back in the church
:arrow: Some Sundays I sit and wish someone would start shouting (catching the holy ghost) just so my pastor can sit down...he keeps going like he's just waiting for somebody to hop out their seats.
:arrow: A minister shouted backwards up the steps going to the pulpit
:arrow: After each choir member puts their offering in the basket they have to do this turn around move and start marching in reverse just so they don't have to rearrange themselves in the choir stand... I think its a bit much
Be back with more
I go to a Chicago baptist church and theirs plenty of funny stuff
:arrow: this soprano always wants to throw in high notes that arent written and she always tenses up when she hits them
:arrow: the choir always starts clapping and screaming loud when they don't know a song and call it contemporary
:arrow: we got one of those ppl in the choir that claps too. But his are onbeat its just so over exaggerated
:arrow: the choir director of all people always catches the holy ghost and runs out the sanctuary
:arrow: and the fact that announcements always seem to take longer than the sermon
found out that this old lady in my church hate this young girl she is about 24 or 25 but she don't like her and one day at choir practice she stoop up and told the girl that she was a dike and a bytch in church. that isht was just too funny
church beef is something else
I did witness this one personally, but my friend who plays the piano for a few churches in the area did.
Well anyway...they were in service and this lady caught the holy ghost. Of course she had stilettos on...anyway she shouting and lands on the foot of the lady sitting next to her....basically the hill of her shoe went through the lady's foot. So the lady next to her starts screaming...but people thought she had caught the holy ghost. Nobody realized that the lady was really hurt until she continued to scream after the shoutin music went off.
wow ima have to think on this some more cause i know i got a few. just this sunday alone i was rollin in church. then i havent even started to think of my church at school
ok
*there's this young lady who purposely dresses as if she was a character from one of tyler perry's plays. i mean to a T. i was starting to wonder if it was a hidden camera show or something.
*cliques that's a no brainer
*the drummers have groupies
*back when i was on the choir right before we were about to have prayer this girl told this guy to 'lick her cl!t' :?
*the youth push up on you trying to get you to buy their fundraiser box of krispy kremes
*when giving her sermon a friend of mine wears her 'jesus is my homeboy' shirt :lol: ...under her robe but u could still see it
at my school church
*oooo that one lady from the choir that sounds so bad you just have to clap to the song thinking it'll divert your attention
the rest ummm nvm ppl on here go to that church
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