yesterday in my Current Issues in Mass Media class, we were talking about how people tend to regard criticism about themselves much higher than compliments......how it takes at least 10 compliments to cancel out just one single criticism....
and that is so true....for some reason, people are much quicker to think others are being completely honest when they criticize....and they just gotta be b/sin' when they say something nice....
we're twisted :???:
but anyway....she was also saying that's y many Black children in "poor" communities might not amount to much in life...because many of them have been told throughout their lives that they wouldn't....and they just end up fulfilling the prophecy, ya know? and that's why it's important that people watch what they say to children....'cause that might end up making or breaking the success they possess for the rest of their lives...
so has this ever happened to you? has anyone ever told you something negative about yourself, whether about how you look, act, talk, etc. etc....and that just ate away at your brain or self-esteem/confidence to the point where you had become overly-conscious and even paranoid about it for the rest of your life? or even not for the rest of your life, maybe just for a significant amount of time....until you decided to change it (or better yourself from it...ya know, turning a negative into a positive) or just simply stop stressing out about it?
if so, when was this? elementary school? middle school? high school? recently? who said it? how did they mean it (you know how people joke around and say something, but u take it seriously)? how has it affected you? how long has it affected you?
and on the flip-side.....has there ever been a positive or encouraging comment or compliment made towards you by anyone in your lifetime...that has had a particularly positive influence on your outcome, actions, or behavior? again, when was the comment made? who said it? & how has it affected you in the longrun?
i remember when i was 16 (not too long) and i had just found out about my family history. no woman in our family had ever graduated from college. i was/am a honor student and i remeber my aunt telling me "what the hell you trying so hard for. you go end up like the rest of us"...bytch.
anywho, my mother had a long talk with me about the mistakes and curses of this family. she promised me that she will go back to college, break the curse, and expect me to do the same. she told me that i am the most powerful and independet woman she has ever met in her life and that i was gong to do great things...
well that upped my spirits a whole lot. my mommy kept her promise to me, she's graduating this fall... her telling me that i can do it all if i wanted has made me work even harder and have greater expectations for myself...
hope that answers your question....
i try not to let it happen...i don't like to have my perception of myself based on what otherse think of me...
kinda like george w bush. :grin: (tasia)
has anyone ever told you something negative about yourself... and that just ate away at your brain or self-esteem/confidence to the point where you had become overly-conscious and even paranoid about it for the rest of your life?
The story of my life: I moved to Georgia in 4th grade, and I was having trouble getting along with the other kids. They called me names and my reactions only made things worse. I couldn't help but do me anyway (me = wannabe class clown), but apparently my Alabama humor was just too advanced for those prep school ****.
F*ck Woodward!!:cry: Where was I?
My little sister starts to hint here and there that whenever she sees me at school I'm acting weird. As if I'm already causing myself enough problems, I start to worry that every time I see her with her friends, they're talking about me and laughing at me. I'm already a shy person as it is... Fast forward a few years: I'm completely socially paranoid. Any action must be rehearsed extensively, only for me to go chicken. When I do get comfortable and act like myself, people think I'm crazy.
I definitely tend to not believe people's compliments. If it's temporary ("you look nice today"), I'll believe it. If it's something like, "you seem happier and more confident than last semester," I won't buy it.
PowerofWoman, tell your aunt to go f*ck herself, for real!
has anyone ever told you something negative about yourself... and that just ate away at your brain or self-esteem/confidence to the point where you had become overly-conscious and even paranoid about it for the rest of your life?
The story of my life: I moved to Georgia in 4th grade, and I was having trouble getting along with the other kids. They called me names and my reactions only made things worse. I couldn't help but do me anyway (me = wannabe class clown), but apparently my Alabama humor was just too advanced for those prep school ****.
F*ck Woodward!!:cry: Where was I?
this is about the same thing that happened to me when i moved to georgia from arizona! f3ck georgians!!!
I'll add mine...
When I was in 4th grade, my mom and my aunt put me and my cousins in this black private school... Unlike public schook, it cost a good amount of money to go to this school (which my parents really did not have). It turned out that most of these kids parents had money to dress their kids in nice 'name brand' clothes, while I was stuck wearing hand-me-downs from my two older brothers, with no 'name brands'...
EVERY DAY for the first half of the school year, kids used to crack on me and my ragged clothes. It **** me off, but didnt really affect my self-esteem. I had this burning desire to get them all one day... So I took any opportunity to get each of these cats back one by one, where at first it was the whole crowd laughing at me and talking about me, but by the end of the school year nobody had jack to say to me because I either gained their respect or they thought I was cool enough in other ways where my clothes didnt matter... 8)
The biggest affect it did have on me was I never again cared about clothes or name brand stuff, because I knew you could tell who your real friends were when you don't have that superficial stuff... actually they kind of motivated me , and to this day, if somebody says I can't do something or talks about me, it quietly motivates me.
The biggest affect it did have on me was I never again cared about clothes or name brand stuff, because I knew you could tell who your real friends were when you don't have that superficial stuff... actually they kind of motivated me , and to this day, if somebody says I can't do something or talks about me, it quietly motivates me.
dude, this is pretty much what makes me...those damyum kids picking on my non name brand stuff at barton chapel elemantary in augusta GA...now i wear name brand, but jst not thiers...DOCKERS! i still look cool and these cats aren't bold enough to rock my style...
*looks down at dockers shoes, t shirt, socks, and pants* (tasia)
F*ck Woodward!!:cry: Where was I?
My little sister starts to hint here and there that whenever she sees me at school I'm acting weird. As if I'm already causing myself enough problems, I start to worry that every time I see her with her friends, they're talking about me and laughing at me. I'm already a shy person as it is... Fast forward a few years: I'm completely socially paranoid. Any action must be rehearsed extensively, only for me to go chicken. When I do get comfortable and act like myself, people think I'm crazy.
I definitely tend to not believe people's compliments. If it's temporary ("you look nice today"), I'll believe it. If it's something like, "you seem happier and more confident than last semester," I won't buy it.
PowerofWoman, tell your aunt to go f*ck herself, for real! 
