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HELP PLEASE Posted on 05-30-2005

LAwton, OK
hey ladies heres the situation: Ive been friends with my room mate for like 5 years now. And we recently have had falling out. Now every semester or so we always get into it about something or other. Ya'll know how females are... But this one is big Now when we first came to school we had our lil clique. but things started to change once she started dating this sigma from a neighboring school. Now everyone thinks we fell out over dude but thats not it. I feel that we fell out because she lost my trust. After she started dating dude she started telling him business about me and our home gurls stuff that was supposed to stay between us. She say that he wouldn't tell no one but there's alot of our business floating and everybody saying they got it from him. Now when i tried to tell her about her man she told me i was wrong. To top it all off she told me i wasn't being a good friend because her dad had just been in a serious accident and i didn't coddle her. I made her **** go to class and get out the house cause i didn't trust her to be at home alone. But i wasn't good enough beacuse when she did come home she would go in her room with her man and shut the door. She thought that i didn;t care. Even though i talked to her mom everyday and even had my mom and older sisters drive 3 hours from their home to help her mom. Now my problem is whether or not i want to still be friends with her or should i just chalk it up to a learning experience? my mom says to wait until ole dude leaves her but he won't because he says they aren't together like that. He even has a fiancee' that she knows about and a baby that she babysits whenever he wants to go out! HELP PLEASE SOME ADVICE :?
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replied on 05-31-2005 12:36AM [Reply]
Oh she's a dumbarse broad. :x My advice to you is to be a lil distant from her, she needs to work out her own problems, soon enough she will realize who her true friend is and come back to you.
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Sweet_Girl from Maryland, MD replied on 05-31-2005 11:02AM [Reply]

Yeah, I would say to give her some space and let it be. Sometimes people change for whatever reason. Maybe adventually she will come onlong but if she does not you can still get along with her just that you all wont be tight.
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Kjdestiny from Orlando, FL replied on 05-31-2005 12:00PM [Reply]

Yo homegirl is on some other stuff. If I was in that situation, I would prolly back away from her all together. A reall friend, does not do things that would hurt u, ( like her puttin yo business out) Yall been cool for some time now, but everyone has there season in a person's life. The way it looks, her season is over. From what you wrote, you have been a good friend to her, but sometimes you have to let go, or it is going to eat u up! U know you have done all you can for her as a good friend. Now if she want to go out there and kick it wit ol' dude, under them circumstances, u need to just let that go! Some people have to learn things the hard way, and believe me, she is going to get hers, by the time ol' dude get married! She will be prolly be trying to kick it wit you then. But when she do come back, just keep in mind, she did this to you after 5 years, you aren't exactly sure what she will do to you again.
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replied on 05-31-2005 01:09PM [Reply]
being the person i am, i probably would have tired to help her too, but obviously she is in her own little world. by now i would have been finished with the whole situation. she'll learn soon enough. make sure you dont just drop her completely though. a good friend is hard to find and you obviously are one.
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kujo from baltimore, MD replied on 05-31-2005 02:03PM [Reply]
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diversaM&M from LAwton, OK replied on 06-01-2005 12:19AM [Reply]

She still tries to act like nothings changed between us but i hate fake people. I tried talking to her today and she had the nerve to tell me that it doesn't matter because I'm jealous of her and her man no I'm totally shocked here i was feeling sorry for myself thinking that i lost a good friend and this BI*C% has the nerve to call me jealous. Well i then proceeded to let her listen to my voicemail where her man is calling my man to ask him to cover for him this weekend cause he's flying his fiance' down the La to visit. How can she be so blind deaf and dumb all at the same time?
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Kjdestiny from Orlando, FL replied on 06-01-2005 10:26AM [Reply]

Sorry you had to be put in this situation, cuz I know it doesn't feel the best. It might be time for you to just back a way for a minute and just let her do her. Believe me she will learn from this situation, and u have also learned from this situation as well. Believe me, she sees what is going on, she is just not accepting it for what it is.
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Blutifully Human from Washington, DC replied on 06-01-2005 11:26AM [Reply]

I don't know both sides to the story, so i don't want to jump to conclusions. If you've already tried to sit down and have a mature (and very calm) conversation with her, and she isn't hearing it, then there is nothing else u can do. I'm not talkin about telling her about her man, cuz this is deeper than some no good negro. U two need to talk about the state of your friendship. All i can say is to continue to do if, and if need be, try to create a lil distance between the two of u. If she isn't willing to change, just keep your bizniz to yourself. If a person screws u over once, shame on them. If a person screws u over twice, shame on u.
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diversaM&M from LAwton, OK replied on 06-01-2005 07:27PM [Reply]

Thanks Today i sat down and wrote her a letter because as you said me trying to tell her about her dude is whats causing the friction. I tried to keep everything involving him out of the letter and focused mainly on what is wrong with us. Sometimes i want to be able to call her and say hey gurl waz up but theres always this voice in the back of my head telling me STOP!! NEWayz we'll see
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