On this evening, I was sitting out a record when a thought came to me. If a man were to say, "I'm going to be in charge and you're going to follow. I want you to adjust your ways to fit in with mine" I'd dismiss him as a Neanderthal. With my hand on my hip, I'd tell him that I have just as much sense as he does and that he can't tell me what to do. Yet, on the dance floor, I love following a man's lead. I don't feel inferior because my part is different from his, and I don't feel I have to prove that I'm just as able to lead as he is. I simply allow him to take my hand, and I go with the flow.
Thats an interesting perspective. She made some very good points. I believe that both black women AND men have something that we really need to work on with ourselves when it comes to these things called love and commitment. I know not everybody would agree with her, especially other black women but personally I do like her perspective.
I understand where the author is coming from also....yet I can't see myself fulling agreeing with her. I completely understand that the ego of black males are tested everyday in society, but I am not going to act like a helpless child to pacify and stroke nobody's ego either. What struck me the most is the fact that a year from now I'm going to be one of the types of women she described: 22, in grad school, and chances are I'll be single and my main priority will be my career/education. At the same time, I don't like that maybe I won't have the time to dedicate myself to anything OR anyone outside of me and getting my degree, and that's scary in itself. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to throw everything away that I have worked hard for in order to have Mr. Right. I guess it's all about compromise, understanding, and EVERYONE stepping up their game....
Yea, I believe that it would have to be compromise from both sides. Not necessarily throwing down careers, but taking time out to support each other and put our egos down.
I understand where the author is coming from also....yet I can't see myself fulling agreeing with her. I completely understand that the ego of black males are tested everyday in society, but I am not going to act like a helpless child to pacify and stroke nobody's ego either. What struck me the most is the fact that a year from now I'm going to be one of the types of women she described: 22, in grad school, and chances are I'll be single and my main priority will be my career/education. At the same time, I don't like that maybe I won't have the time to dedicate myself to anything OR anyone outside of me and getting my degree, and that's scary in itself. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to throw everything away that I have worked hard for in order to have Mr. Right. I guess it's all about compromise, understanding, and EVERYONE stepping up their game....
I think finding a balance between career and your love life is key. I've managed to have both at the sametime and it's working out fine. Now, i cannot say that it's been wonderful the whole time but we've learned to work through it. I realized that relationships take just as much time and effort as a 9-5. So, it's all about balance and compromise, even when you don't want to. As far as this article is concerned...I agree with certained things that the author has written but i know who i am as woman. So what, if i'm assertive, loud, opinionated, talkative, girly...My man has excepted all those different aspects about me and he doesnt try to change them. Besides, i can be all those things + soft and sutle. I'm a package deal!!
All I ask is for a man to meet me halfway. Don't expect for me to sacrifice my career/social life/personal attributes/ etc. if you know like hell you won't do the same for me.
It is about compromise, but there are some things I'm not willing to give up to get or keep a man. And I'm sooo tired of hearing that "black men need to feel (fill in the blank), and be treated (add some stuff here) by black women so their masculinity won't be threatend". The junk is so old it's become a crutch in trying to defend the problems black men have with just stepping up to the plate.
She made SEVERAL valid points. You must submit at least a tad bit in order to keep a man. You must decide what is more important to you....
To be a STRONG, INDEPENDENT Black woman who is single OR To be loved and have a husband, because you have an unselfish, cooperative attitude that is conducive to your relationship.
Men don't want to put up with a nagging, know-it-all.... There are too many other woman in this world!
She made SEVERAL valid points. You must submit at least a tad bit in order to keep a man. You must decide what is more important to you....
To be a STRONG, INDEPENDENT Black woman who is single OR To be loved and have a husband, because you have an unselfish, cooperative attitude that is conducive to your relationship.
Men don't want to put up with a nagging, know-it-all.... There are too many other woman in this world!
She made SEVERAL valid points. You must submit at least a tad bit in order to keep a man. You must decide what is more important to you....
To be a STRONG, INDEPENDENT Black woman who is single OR To be loved and have a husband, because you have an unselfish, cooperative attitude that is conducive to your relationship.
Men don't want to put up with a nagging, know-it-all.... There are too many other woman in this world!
That goes both ways...
Yea, that is true as well. I can speak from personal experience on that matter. Believe me.
So you have to look at it this way. Is falling in love worth loosing all that I've worked for? Yeah, being in love is fun, a learning experience, and a lil something to add a lil spice to your day. But, there is going to come a time when your man will want you to put aside all that you've worked for, for him(not saying that happens in all cases). But men are selfish. If they really like you, they want you to themselves. So I think that in today's society you have to be looking for a man who wants the same things as you do. Set goals together and try to maintain work and a love life together. Yes, it may be hard to do so, but if he really wants what he wants and you want what you want, then it could very well happen. But, if you don't do that, all that you've worked for could be gone. Because you were so anxious to fall in love, that you paid no attention to what was REALLY going on. So personally I think it's just a matter of finding a mate who is goal oriented and seeks the same things as you do.
I agree with SOME points the author made... but like Kenya said, for the right man... oooh.. I'd do anything... I am eaily pleased... all men need to know is that if they treat me right, I will do ANYTHING for them... apart from that... I don't need a man who can't keep up with me.. there are strong Black men out there.. so I'mma just wait for my Mr. Forever....
