With God's help I persevere through poverty, sickness and bad luck. I keep going no matter what is happening to me. I have faith in God that the final outcome will be to my advantage. All things work in my favor.
I am a simple woman with simple needs. My days of being a "Black American Princess" are over. Now I only ask God for food, shelther and clothing. Nothing else in life is really needed. I am happiest when God gives me extra money to buy books and to spend time with my disabled brother Stephen.
I think of myself as a Warrior Christian Woman much like the DeBorah in the Old Testament book of Judges. I am a proud descendant of William Henry Halstead, my Great, great grandfather and Civil War veteran. I am proud of my African and Native American Heritage.
I am tough, no nonsense and I don't suffer fools gladly. I consider myself a very Spiritual person but I am not bound by organized religion preferring to have a personal relationship with God. I am proud to be a Free Spirit and a Free Thinker. The Tattoos on my body tell the story.
I am a Combination of the Sacred and the Profane
I will never fit the role of a traditional Christian woman. For years after I got saved back in August 1982 I tried to be the type of woman the church said I should be but the inner me would always rise up and take control over the mask or false role I tried to assume.
I remember as a little girl my parents were having marital difficulties and my mother sought the advice of a local Baptist minister. I recall being allowed to sit in the living room with them as he counseled her. Of course I could not say anything but I did listen very carefully. After my mother explained her troubles and discontent the Pastor told her that she needed to be more submissive... That she should run my father's bath water, make sure his dinner was ready when he came home from work, get his slippers. No where did he mention what my father had to do to please her or accommodate her wishes. Also my father was not present at this meeting nor did the Rev. ask to meet with both of them at a future date. My Mom had to do all the giving in... My mother did follow the minister's advice for a while. But I could see it irked her to do so even though she did love my Dad. Over all my parents did have a good marriage. They stayed married 40 years until my father passed away in 1995 then my Mom died in 1998. But it always stood out to me that women always have to accommodate men in Christianity not the other way around.
I hate the idea of submission. The only man I felt I had to submit to was my father Edward G. Palmer and once he died in 1995 that was it. I go to church from time to time but I do not wholly subscribe to what these ministers are saying. I value my freedom and my ability to make my own decisions. Of course in a job I must submit to my bosses, most of whom are men but that is in the context of work and now-a-days one has to keep a job. I have no problem with that. I respect my managers and supervisors and they respect me. I always maintain my professionalism at work. Any men I date now as we talk and get to know one another I tell them upfront I am a free thinker and a free spirit. Please do not try to control me because it won't work. The last male did not listen and that relationship only last three months. He was really into the traditional male/female roles, submission, power and control. Well he controlled his way out of a mature relationship with a beautiful, intelligent, creative, vital woman, such as myself. His loss. I am now getting to know as Eastern European gentleman. He is an Orthodox Christian. We will see where our relationship goes as time passes.
I never married or had children perhaps because of my mother’s incident and of course many other factors and decisions that have shaped my life. I turned 50 on Feb. 27th and do not regret my decision to remain single and childless. Needless to say I have had many relationships with men. In fact I do not lack for male companionship. I lived with my last boyfriend for six of our seven years together. Living together was a mistake not because I violated a Biblical injunction but because I lost sight of myself and who I was as an individual, as a independent creative, vital woman entitled to her own expression and beliefs. I will never live with another man again. I value my autonomy too much. I never want to be subsumed into a man's personality. You lose yourself as a woman and it takes a while to get your strength and individuality back. Now I am feeling my power as a Black Woman. I speak my mind always and am not afraid to stand up for myself.
Since I broke up with the last guy I was with two years ago I have remained celibate. Now I enjoy sex every much and have a very high sex drive but unlike when I was in my 20s and 30s I now practice self-control. If the right man crosses my path then I will sleep with him but not before. I am not desperate. I want very much to resume my sex life but now I am a lot more selective. From this day forward I choose when and where I come in!
Writing and research for my Creative Writing Blog. Reading books by African-American, African, Eastern European and Middle Eastern authors.
Life & Professional Aspirations:
Market and promote my tutoring company, A Word in Season Education Services.
I'm concerned about students and adults who need tutoring or remedial education to improve and enhance their writing abilities. Many people of all ages are not knowledgeable regarding the social aspects of history and its impact upon us. Blacks need to take control of how we are represented and/or perceived in the media and in the arts. To address this need I founded A Word in Season Education Services. I’ve developed a curriculum where students will learn to develop better ways to communicate ideas and concepts using the written word. My course would use artwork readily available in local/regional museums in order to gain valuable insights on how art and history connect.
A Word in Season Education Services
Executive Summary
A Word in Season Education Services is a New York-based company that offers tutoring services in humanities based subjects. The company is c ...more
Posted by DeBorah Palmer on December 20th, 2010 • 297 Views
you are a woman i can marry a free thinker my name is charles louis brown you can call me at 732-406-3972 my computor crash could not down load my picture you want to see my picture go to facebook search my name charles louis brown peace and blessing to you allways
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charles louis brown on 08/28/2009
