I discovered myself as seeker of truth and bliss. When I was child I found myself very unconscious and in class room I never give attention and do my homework and I found myself facing difficulties in reading and I was strict, one sided, lost, ignorant, principled, shy, slow, beautiful etc I was loved and taken by my maternal grand parents from my parents when child because my mom was suffering from inequality injustice in her in-laws home and she was sober suppressed she became ill and my dad used to work and mom used to look after my elder sister and my younger brother and home. I was confused when I knew my mom was not my grandmother and I have another home and this was my maternal uncle's home.
I saw movies of evil dead and Dracula that made me scared while going bathroom so I used to stop that slowly developed constipation in me. I was pampered a lot by my grand parents. I did not wanted to eat rice so I remembered creating difficulties for my family to feed me. I used to eat butter or oily fried food that made my liver weak and when I was 10 years I had once jaundice
My mom used to share how she have been facing difficulties with her in law and used to cry while singing vajans we tried to stop her singing. Because of her ignorance to look after me and pleasing her mother in law or society I had sever pneumonia I was about to die when I was infant. I used to scold guys who used to propose me when I was in 9, 10 and my elder sister used to take love letters 3 4 times inspite of my scolding. 5,6 times I was victim of bad intention men I feel really bad hatred negative complaints about my life.
My mom and dad are also unconscious ignorant and busy and open sensitive emotional helpful and loving they don't know what is good and what is bad selfish people used to make friends with them for taking advantage and they were jealous too.
I also found jealous of my younger brother when mom and dad used to give priority and love to son (sagun) when I was about 5,6 years and my elder sister(aarati) was jealous of me when I became close to my sister's friend sabina at class 8,9.
My dad built home for my mom's friend (rukumani aunty)and their whole family used come and grew in our home my mom used to feed them. And they were never thankful. And mom's friend (Indira aunty) she counsel her why princess shruti got married in 19 we have to marry daughters as soon as possible and mom's elder sister also suggested her to marry daughters in young age they can spoil image in society.
My mom used to make me feel guilty for not studying properly and singing and dancing in front of society.
My mom's cousin sisters brought marriage proposal to my mom for me and Aarati and they promised to marry only after 2 years but some how my mom rejected marriage proposal for my sister because they were big family and was little far, thinking that she will find someone later. I was chased by boys and they were looking at me I thought if I put mangal sutra and sindur guys will not look at me thinking I was married I said ok to marriage proposal. But after I said ok within 6 months they tricked me to marry as soon as possible because someone was dieing in their family and there was no good time after that as per their astrologer.
I got married at age of 19 I was studying bachelor 1st year. I was treated bad my mother in law I could not stand too much work load and pressure I fell sick and shocked I ran away from that home and came to my home I tried suicide too... I couldn't face society and pain my sister saw this from that time she had shaking of heart. After I took divorce with too many dramas and accidents. I was looking for truth God etc I found guru ji I learnt meditation After that my family went abroad a guy used to visit us and I was taking of my dad's factory and his home. My sister used to love him one side and he was one-sided for me I thought he was opportunist and clever. After 2 years when he got engaged with another woman I got involved with him thinking I don't have to marry him. After he got married I felt ignored and jealous my friend's brother fell in love with me and I accepted his proposal however there was another man who proposed me for marry I chose love and innocence in my lover and got married with him at age of 27 gnoring his mom who was saying not to marry and bring dowry we can't give you anything we don't need you we will give all to younger son ... etc she was greedy manipulating clever woman tortured me a lot and tried to get me aborted 3,4 times of my daughter I couldn't stay there on and off I stayed there for 2 years and left home again my husband was never supporting, caring, validating and understanding me because of his weak mental health and thought because he knew affair with my x boyfriend or he got me married now no intrest don't know ...
I grew my daughter husband sister and home painfully dragging in between 2 men came in my life saying that they love me but can't do anything for love then I bid them bye... because I came to know they want my love attention and time but they are not there when I need them because they are committed and they have responsibility. I thought that is excuses. Many people cheated money from my family in between.
When I meet my sister in law I found she has bad intention. She pressurized me a lot again. Torturing me my whole family. She made my brother Robert puppet and I named her c3sampe
Cruel cunning clever selfish actor manipulator political exploiter
Mainly I faced 3 ladies I got tortured from 2 mother in law and sister in law.... Best part of my life is I got pure intention father and mother daughter and once pure live by my lover once now turned in husband
I am 42 years old now done two surgeries and I felt all are in borderline of mental health because of c3sampe .... my daughter wants to live with family I think my daughter should be in my eye sight I want to take care of her she is 13 years old now she is having medicine for bad pneumonia due to tb..... they don't accept my in laws did injustice and inequality to elder son and they tortured me for money basic need like fooding and living....
I was asking repeatedly to my husband to cooperate with me 2 hands are needed to cook roti chapati ... or two wheels are needed for bicycle please accept... your mom tortured me accept but he never he became stubborn I was telling him to know and see truth but he refused he said he became drunkard because I told negative things to his mom... I just wanted to help to see the truth.
I am happy now I got mentor in my life who motivated me rebuilt me and supported me to spare some time for meditation excersice yoga diet and affirmative and positive thinking.
I am thankful
A very warm welcome to you. It is lovely to
have you among us. May you have a blessed,
constructive and prosperous day. Stay strong.
Tagged by
Ralph White on 07/16/2022
