10 WORST mistakes “nice-guys” make with Women
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Posted By: Zachary Robinson on January 25, 2009 I go this from another messageboard and thought I would share with you. This was an interesting read to say the least not only because I've been know as a nice guy w/some flaws. And no, there's no Cliff Notes version lol!! The 10 WORST mistakes “nice-guys” make with Women 1. Complimenting a woman too much and too desperately. A little compliment here and there doesn’t hurt, but always telling a girl she is beautiful will hurt your game. Or kill it outright. This shows that you only value her for her looks, and that you are obsessed with her – both of which are traits of needy guys desperate for sex. And women feel no attraction for frustrated losers. 2. Buying her dinner, drinks, and gifts. A real seducer will never waste money on a girl that hasn’t legitimately EARNED his favor. Showering girls with favors will only cause them to see you as chump with no personality, who has to buy women’s company. It is little better than prostitution, and they will see right through it. Expensive dinner dates and bouquets often result in “lets just be friends”… and if she’s really considerate, one of those rare women who are truly caring and have a good heart, she MAY tell you reluctantly that you’re trying too hard. 3. Giving away your power to her (begging). Always asking her “please!” as if you are a puppet and she is holding the strings. Begging her to stay longer, or pleading with her to like you after she shows disinterest. Begging only makes you look pathetic and spineless, and it gives her the power to say NO. It does make her feel more powerful and validated, but honestly, do you really want her to step all over your dignity? Then don’t beg. It’s NOT charming or “chivalrous” by any means, and you will LOSE respect. 4. Always asking her if she’s okay, or if she’s having a good time. This is a BIG mistake guys make, even guys who think they know the “game”! Believe me, if she’s having fun you’ll notice it in her face and her voice. Nice guys often don’t trust women and sometimes assume that women are inexplicable and even intentionally deceptive. While this may be true of some women, no women will EVER hide her true emotions in front of a guy she’s comfortable with. Asking her makes her LESS comfortable. 5. Always making her decide what to do (“what do you want to do now?”). 90% of the time, she won’t have an answer because women want guys to take the lead, not the other way around. If you sound like you have no clue what to do, you have already lost her. She doesn’t WANT to do anything with a guy who has no idea what to do! 6. Always apologizing for everything you do. Rule of thumb – if you wouldn’t expect a girl to apologize to you for touching you on the arm, don’t apologize to her either! She isn’t Bloody Mary – you don’t have to supplicate or beg for fear of getting your head chopped off! Being submissive and sorry only sends one signal to this soft, delicate creature – you only want her for her *****. 7. Being afraid to share your opinions. This behavior immediately makes you look insecure and you will become a target for her disdain. Most girls will never openly say it, but a guy that’s afraid of his own opinions actually disapproves of HIMSELF on some subconscious level. That’s the behavior of a low-value chump who has no self-respect. 8. Gushing with excessive, NEEDY emotions (i.e. “You are so beautiful, I’m already in love with you!”). This demonstrates low value because you appear to have no standards or patience. If you are meeting a girl for the first time, you will look like the most desperate guy on earth doing this. Even telling a girl you like her will often KILL attraction. I don’t care how many times your mom said it’s the “polite” way to treat girls, it is WRONG! A woman wants things to “just happen”, and the emotional burden of your pounding heart depending on her for instant happiness will just scare the crap out of her! 9. Trying to impress her with your knowledge, money, car, or any other LOGICAL excuses (bragging). This makes you look boring and lacking in substance. It is overcompensation. Once again, many guys have been misled by their parents. You do NOT want to “impress” girls – you want to get them curious about you. Furthermore, women are not attracted by logic. They are attracted by emotion and personality. The more you try to justify why she “should” be attracted to you, the less attraction she will feel. Any sort of rules, logic, and justification of them only will turn girls off! 10. Always trying to become a part of her life (following her, calling her every hour, sending her cards or flowers, asking too eagerly about her friends). This behavior, if it is allowed to continue, can become downright creepy. It communicates that you have no life, and that you are desperate not only for the girl, but also for getting to know ANYONE at all! Why are you so eager to meet her friends so fast anyway? These mistakes are all hurting millions of men, and the crazy part is that they can EASILY be avoided once you know what they are and why they are HUGE turn-offs to women. And indeed, make no mistake about it – they definitely ARE. So if you are currently doing any of these “nice-guy” things, don’t feel insulted – just STOP DOING THEM, and your rejection rate will be cut in half. Only half of seduction relies on knowing the right techniques and internalizing the beliefs and attitudes behind them. The other half simply consists of not screwing it up! Now I’m sure we’ve all heard the conventional wisdom on women and “dating” from friends, parents, John Gray, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Hollywood movies, the media, etc. You know… all the “accepted” pop-culture advice that tells you to buy women flowers and ask them to plan the date, impress her with your money, car, house, etc. and not make any moves, not talk about your opinions for fear of “offending” her, be super-“respectful” like a nervous schoolboy who has never touched a girl before… basically, advice telling to make ALL of the above mistakes! And I’m sure ALL of those people had their reasons for giving you that advice, but… I’ve got some bad news for those folks: this is the same wussy puritanical feminist advice that existed in the 1960s, and even THEN, it didn’t attract women. The “conventional wisdom” is WRONG! Girls are NOT attracted to guys that buy gifts, talk about their car or house, apologize for touching a girl, or give her the power to plan the evening. In fact, women are continually REPULSED by all of these behaviors. The biggest reason nice guys fail with women is that women simply do not trust nice guys. Nice guys look FAKE, because they are. What with all their showing gifts on a woman, all their begging and submitting and complimenting, they communicate EXTREME desperation and neediness – yet in spite of how badly they desire the girl, they are afraid to make a move, which communicates fear and lack of confidence. So from both ends, they come across as LOSERS. Think about it. Would you act all desperate like that around your friends? Why would a guy act like that, unless he is trying to get something from the girl? Either he must be trying to sell her something (and failing), or he is desperate for sex/marriage/a relationship, or any combination of the three. She is always thinking “WHAT does he WANT from me?” And that is NOT the state of mind you want her to be in, if your goal is to actually get laid. There are only THREE things that nice-guy behavior will tell girls about you, and NONE of them are good: 1. You are desperate and needy 2. You have no confidence or direction in life 3. You are NOT a prize to be won over, thus you have NO sexual value to her Does this sound like she’s impressed? Obviously something is VERY wrong with the way most guys go about attracting women. They actually SCARE women away! Being a “nice guy” doesn’t show women that you “care” about them. It actually creeps them out! When I first figured this out, it was as eye-opening as seeing my reflection in the condensed droplets of water glistening like diamonds on the perfectly polished, shimmering surfaces of solid gold faucets in a gold-plated shower fit for a King! It was truly astounding. This was the answer to YEARS of asking why women were creeped out by all the conventional “approaches” that guys use. Being “nice” in chick-speak actually means “trying too hard”. And it took a girl telling me this to finally make me understand. Nice guys try to hide the fact that they want to sleep with a girl – yet by their submissive actions they make if OBVIOUS that they want something from her. They are “trying too hard” to get SEX, and the girl sees through it INSTANTLY. Women WILL have sex with you, but NOT if you come across as wanting it more badly than they do. If you’re a real Prize to be won, you need to act like sex is NO BIG DEAL! That’s right, I am NOT making this up. A real MAN is not needy. A real seducer is not desperate for sex, because he believes that he, not the girl, is the Prize. After all, if you are truly a Prize, like Casanova, then you can get sex whenever you want and that it’s not even necessary to have it anytime soon. You are not needy. There is no scarcity of women in your life. And you feel no fear in communicating with women. THAT is the attitude which makes you a Prize, regardless of whether you are already getting lots of sex or not. You must internalize this attitude first to truly have strong game. What are your thoughts on this? If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Zachary Robinson
From North Plainfield, NJ Central State University class of 1998 Member Since October 2000 |
Comments
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funny reverse psychology....I do believe the days of the thug are over Our president may have put the final nail in the coffin..so nice guys (in moderation of course) may be back in style....These days a paid mortgage is s*xier than a (i wanna soldier) type cat to these females out here ...but it is an entertaining read though !!!!
Monday, January 26th 2009 at 1:10PM |
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I would have to say that I like nice guys of course like Kevin said "in moderation" Of course women that have their own material things aren't impressed by a mans material things, but I am always impressed by a man that shows me the utmost respect.
Tuesday, January 27th 2009 at 9:59AM |
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I saw this article online and I think I saved it but I didn't post it. Deep blog bro. In past I have posted on male/female relationships, everything relates to relationships Bro. Appreciate the blog post. Personally, honestly, truthfully and keeping it real, when I was single, i got fasr more play and loyalty, than I did when I matured and changed... I got burned being the nice guy, but I didn't quit, just more wary. I once posted "Is Chivalry Dead?" Ever been told off for opening a car door? Thursday, January 29th 2009 at 11:05PM |
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