Whose Responsibility is it??? Mine or his???
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Posted By: Monica Brown on July 09, 2005 Ok my other Parent Club members as well as anyone else who wants to comment. Here's the situation: My husband and I have been together for over 17 years. We started dating when my daughter (Meka) was 2 months old and got married when she was 3. We currently live in Texas. Meka's father lives in Mississippi. I asked him to help me send her to private school when she was 5 so that she wouldn't be held back in public school because of her late birthday. He didn't do it. Well, that was the last time I asked him for anything. My husband never wanted me to ask him for anything in the first place, but me in my infinite wisdom, thought he might want to contribute to his only child. I've never filed for child support because he eventually got married and I felt his money should stay in his household with his wife and her children. Needless to say Meka is nearly 18 and he has not done a thing. I then began to target their relationship and asked him to please call and talk to her sometimes because it's only right. He doesn't do that either and neither does his mother. We are a military family and I make it my business to always call and give Meka's father and grandmother our address and phone numbers whenever we move. Not to mention, my grandmother in Mississippi (where her father and I met) still lives in the same house that she has for 33 years. My question is this, is it my responsibility to try to keep Meka in her father and grandmother's lives or is it theirs? If I can bring her to Mississippi when I'm there to visit my family, is it too much for them to drive the 20 miles to my grandmother's house to see her? Should I have to make time in my schedule and take her the other 20 miles after I have already driven over 400 miles to Mississippi? Sorry for this being so long, but I really want to know your opinions. This is why I minister to teenagers and young women and try to explain that not only is it right according to God's Word to wait until you are married to have children, but it also makes it much easier when you have 1 baby daddy. I just don't want to see anyone hurting. Mama Mo P.S. This is my beautiful baby girl that he is missing out on. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
Comments
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Hi, Mama Mo. Maybe I can help you, I am in the same situation except I am the daughter. Me personally being 18 I understand the relationship my parents have(they hate each other). I know that's bad right but my point is that as a child/young adult if I was in your daughter's position I would want you to cease the battle with my "father". I would understand (from how it looks) he does want anything to do with me. And i would appreciated you and my stepdad for everything. As a child who had two stepparents, I kind of know how they operted some are darling no doubt but others or so evil. Lord! I believe you should stop trying to involved those who don't want to be in your daughter's life. and sit her down and expllain to her what has been going on. i heed your words at not having kids out of wedlock. bc i swear that my kids would not have stepparents but of what i went through with mine. Saturday, July 9th 2005 at 5:28PM |
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Monica, kudos to you for going the distance. I have three daughters of my own and would have done the same thing! The best advice I would give you is to keep up the good work! We need more mothers/role models like you in the community.
Thursday, July 26th 2007 at 8:43PM |
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