ON THE FLIP SIDE: TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR MAN IS A SCRUB
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Posted By: Siebra Muhammad on May 08, 2009 Kudos to the lovely men of LiveSteez! You've officially opened a can of worms that was so on the shelf. But let's be fair and present the perspective of the sistas, namely those with a job! A little healthy debate, if you will. Brothas, please don't cry the blues because you got played by a women you thought was feeling you, because y'all are guilty of the same! Nowadays we date with the same caution because there are scrubs out there who prey on everyday business women, who have everything in place except for their love life. Then comes the impostor partner, who is really the guy that ends up "crashing at your place for a few days," trying to seduce his way into a live-in position. Employment, or lack there of, is the focal point of most of the signs that your man is a scrub. Fellas, if you're presently without work you may want to skip this read and surf the classifieds. But the rest of you scrubs don't worry, we'll try not to rip you too hard. 1. He is in "transition." Sistas hate to hear that dreaded word, which translates to unemployed. If a man says he's in "transition" then he has no job and more than likely can't name a profession, skill or trade that he's practiced for more than 3 years, consecutively. If he is an able body and free of felony convictions, he should be working, end of story. 2. He has no means of transportation. Ladies, if the man has no car, this is more than likely his excuse for not having a job! This will also excuse his need to borrow your whip while you're out working. If your man is driving your car around town from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., then he's probably putting it down in intimate afterhours. Suggestion: Detach, somebody out there can do it better, and he may just have a job and a car. 3. He has trouble explaining/verifying his living situation. If you've been seeing a guy for more than 90 days and you have yet to be invited his place, you have a bonafide live-in ex situation. Run. Or, if your dude is squatting at various family members pads and can hardly remember where he last left his toothbrush and toiletries, not only is he a scrub, he's a scrub with no direction. Run fast. 4. He has several children with several women. If your dude has more than two kids with more than two women, this is a problem. No child is a mistake, but these kind of slip-ups should only happen once, MAYBE twice. Otherwise, he's reckless with his seed and you'd be foolish to try and venture down a path of longevity with him. Furthermore, a man with children should NOT have the time to be at your house all day and night, and you should encourage him to be with his babies by any means necessary. 5. He is the sum total of signs 1,2,3 and 4, which is: your man can't get a job because he's secretly dodging back child support payments, still lives with his ex and kids and he can't keep a car because it will end up stripped and vandalized. Run fast, don't look back. 6. He's dropping an album. Eww. If you're man spends most of his time in the studio rapping about things he's never done and doesn't have, he has to go. If one more dude says he does music and bears no fruits of this labor, other than a beat up chain and party flyers, it'll be too soon. How long has he been dropping this album again? 7. He never takes you out, but "pops bottles" at the club. If your man goes to the club and pays double what a bottle normally costs for the sake of flossing, then he more than likely wears shades inside the club too, lame. Next. 8. He hollers broke but frequents the booty club. If your man says he "ain't got no dough" but still finds the cash flow to tip them h*@s, he needs to get his priorities straight. Ladies, buy a stripper pole for the crib; fellas, make it rain at home, problem solved. 9. He hollers broke in designer fabrics. If the man you're dating rocks premium denims, the latest J's and a fresh line-up, and never has any money to contribute to the bar tab or dinner dates, chances are he didn't buy half of what he's wearing. Now he's trying to cake you. Run away, quickly. 10. He hollers broke, again. If homeboy says he's running low on cash, but has every video game system with a closet full of cartridges and joysticks to boot, he's not the one. No one wants to completely do away with the testosterone release of Madden, but the line has got be drawn somewhere. His game collection should not be the only small fortune he's acquired. This is by no means the standard, nor a knock to the brothas out grinding for betterment, but it is a reality that many of us women encounter when sifting through the scrubs to get to her ideal partner. It's not an easy process, but it propels the determination not to settle. As cliché as it sounds, we ultimately want love but just don't know how or where to find it. Maybe we have to come to grips with our weakness for fine men who dress the part and start looking for the "stand-up" guys, but where are they? If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Siebra Muhammad
A Registration Clerk/Specialist, New Orleans Public Schools Other College... class of 2001 Member Since November 2008 |
Comments
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...5. He is the sum total of signs 1,2,3 and 4, which is: your man can't get a job because he's secretly dodging back child support payments... LMBO!! Saturday, May 9th 2009 at 4:18PM |
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Greetings Brother Roderick: Let me first start by saying that you are correct in this blog post being strictly for laughs. That post comes right off the heels of another post blogged by me, "TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR WOMAN IS A GOLDDIGGER". No one as of yet commented on the "GOLDDIGGER" blog. These posts are altogether different from my other blog posts in that I RARELY speak on the topic of male-female relationships. But of course when a Brother's crotch is involved (as it is in this post) a female can expect an argument on their hands. I am the only girl born to parents who are still together after 30 years of marriage, and I have always been respectful of men. I never once looked to myself as being a male basher. However, I was engaged at the tender age of 19 to a Brother who I thought was good for me until I turned 20 and had to let him know I was no longer responsible for his "F" ups (more on that topic later). I am using my past experiences to teach women and girls my age that they shouldn't settle for just any man. Good relationships has to be built out of divine loving. Like I stated in a previous blog "SHACKING UP VS. BEING MARRIED" the only way relationships can work for you is to make sure that black women demand that black men learn to respect black women and their families. Black women will also have to re-learn that do not have babies out of wed lock-it has to be a joint venue with an ideal that you are making sure you and he understand that if we do not do this, we are dooming us. Make sure that the one you choose has character, is from a home where there is a strong black male, is educated, respects you fully and understands that this black male is grounded in what truly is important-education, respect and friendship!!! You will notice I omitted love. That comes with time. You will notice that I place the onus upon the black female because She has to make the choice, She has to agree with the marriage, She must decide what will happen. She has to decide if this is the correct choice, She is the one that has to decide that having s*x does not make good unions-lovemaking has to make the union good.The spouses/life partners have to be VERY close friends as well. THIS HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ANY COUPLE THAT HAS THOUGHT ABOUT BEING TOGETHER FOR LIFE!!! Don't credit me, This was espoused by one of the NOI leaders, Brother Malcolm X!!! PEACE BE WITH YOU ALWAYS, Siebra Wednesday, May 13th 2009 at 2:34PM |
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P.S. I am not speaking from "Planet Stupid"; I'm speaking from "Planet Intelligence"!!! Wednesday, May 13th 2009 at 2:37PM |
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