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Central State University class of 1995

My Life's Song

My Life
Posted By: Ashli Dean on June 25, 2009





As I think about how my life all began
I grew up watchin my mom struggle doing the best she can
To care for me n my family, I was happy as can be
Not knowing the real problems behind the scene
Next thing I know, I'm cryin cuz my daddy leaves
My mom n dad divorcing cuz he cheating
Wrapped up in the corner, begging daddy to stay
To take me with him if he wants to go away
But no, he don't want me, so he leaves for good
Why doesn't he want me?I never truly understood
3 years go by, I find myself alone n cold
Being molested by my stepdad at 10 years old
Scared to open my mouth n speak about the damage done to me
Cuz I knew he was beating my mom so cold n deep
She finally gets the strength to leave him so we move away
"A new beginning at last" is what I prayed
13 years old, got saved, kept God first
Not realizing I was about to endure more hurt
Within a blink of an eye, I got raped
I never dreamed, my treasure, somebody would take
With force, with me cryin, and in pain
Now tell me, do u know what it feels like to go thru rain?
Well, that's not all, I've even been thru the storm
The raped gave a depression n I put myself at harm
Stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks long
Tryna find my strength to carry on
As life continued to pass my way
Some people have left my life, n some have stayed
At 16 years old, things finally start to look up
Got a job, lovin home, God blessin me wit more than enough
But then the tragic of my life hits me lower than dirt
Found out my grandma was sick n I needed to go see her
Saw her in the hospital bed, cherishing every moment to be
Never dreamed that she would be gone from me
Got a call two days later pronouncing she died
Immediately my heart dropped as tears fell down from my eyes
Go to her funeral about a week later
As I look at the open casket, I see her
Felt like she took a big chunk of my heart when she went to heaven
Just wanted to die myself so I could see her again
Tried to hold on to my strength as I watched my mom n brother cry
My mom crying hurt me even deeper inside
Two years later I thought my life was finally coming together
I got engaged to someone n I thought it'd last forever
Until I realize he didn't really appreciate me at all
Didn't cherish me, could care less if I fall
Now I'm 18 years old..I'm on my own n standing by myself
But as long as I got Jesus, I don't need nobody else
After all that's happened to me, I thought life's not worth living anymore
But now I know what my heart is for
I still struggle with my rape n so much more
But I'm stronger than I ever was before
What a journey for me, a tragic so long
But this is who I am...this is my life's song
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WILLIAM W. HEMMANS III
Florida A&M University class of 1995
Sounds like you have a Book in you Sis...
Sunday, September 13th 2009 at 12:27AM
vera cotten
Substitute Teacher at Kelly
Ashli that is a powerful testimony. That just means God has a work for you girl. keep on pressing on God is not through with you yet!! I do not even know you but my prayers are with you! God Bless!
Wednesday, April 27th 2011 at 10:45PM
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