marrying down
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Posted By: Nile Morris on August 03, 2009 Black men always say they want a educated black sister that has her own, but when the situation presents itself we are often taken back. A successful women is great, as long as they are not more successful than us, lol! I don't understand this. The same way I don't understand why black women say they want a educated sincere black male but when they meet these guys they often claim they are "too nice". They would rather a guy that is a little ruff around the edges. Now being from New York and in medical school, I completely understand the perfect combo of an educated guy with edge but females often seem to chase the worst men. What is your take on this lady's? If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Nile Morris
From Cleveland, OH Member Since January 2009 |
Comments
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I think it is hard to get the right combo but it all depends on the individual. It seems like we want what looks good on paper but it does not always match what we desire in our heart.
Monday, August 3rd 2009 at 9:40PM |
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I believe that on a perspective of a man he finds that a successful women can pay her own bills and take care of her own household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. And in that instance when a women needs more many men feel like they cant suffice that role because they can't imagine what more she would need than besides monetary means in which check she will have already obtain. But what men need to realize is that there is no need for a man to be taken back... for a man can indeed fulfill her if he is striving for excellence not only financially because no women wants that mans burdens but in addition mentally for a womens stimulation, spiritually for a heathen and a god fearing women will not work, and the list goes on...but most importantly WE MUST RESPECT A MAN IN ORDER FOR US TO BE SUBMISSIVE..and trust if a man does not meet are requirements the respect will not be there and a man will be taken back because you men yearn to profess, protect, and provide for a women (steve harvey:=)) and when you feel you cant do that you become instantly intimidated. But it is not a competition for success more so RESPECT. So men need to work harder to gain it, and thats past monetary means.Then you blame a women for asking for a lot..when indeed she is worth a lot. And its not necessarily that an educated man is "too nice." More so that he is not meeting up to our "overall standards." EDUCATION does not deem the perfect man because it takes much more than an intellectual conversation to fufill us and EDUCATION does not give a titlement to a "Perfect Combo" and neither does "EDUCATION WITH EDGE." Education does not guarentee a man to be sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. neither does it entitle integrity in dealing with relationship because man EDUCATED man still lie and play games and that is not my idea of a strong man. And most importantly does not entitle a man to family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. But yeah the "worst man" may actually be the most fulfilling man. Tuesday, August 4th 2009 at 10:23AM |
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Wow, thats a good blog topic there...I personally have dated many guys trying to find the right balance between the educated black man and the thug...but as I have grown I realized that I overlooked many wonderful men because of my extreme standards...I then had to take a step back and evaluate myself and see if I, myself, exhibited the types of qualities that a potential mate would be interested in...So when I put those priorities into perspective I opened myself to a new ball field...I had to put myself in the guys shoes and see how he would feel about me...after a few tweeks on myself and my images of the "perfect man" I actually found someone amazing...nobody is perfect and we have to remind ourselves that we will always be disappointed one way or the other with a potenial mate but you get over it and move on...You get what you give out of a relationship...I currently have an educated gansta (a school boy with a book bag and a duffle bag) but he knows that aint going to last always so he is obtaining his bachelors after dropping out of high school some years back...Its all a maturity thing really...He is always going to have his street swagga but that doesnt have to make him who he is...find a thug and send him to school..lol..i dont know...just happy i lucked up women dont necessarily need a perfect man but we would like some nice odds at least...i know im not perfect, i just want someone on my level Friday, August 7th 2009 at 10:15PM |
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I think part of the problem is that we all – men and women – are too judgmental and have too many criteria that we say the other person must have in order for us to talk to them. Rather than let things flow, we try to hard to either make the person our wife/husband or push them away completely without really taking the time to get to know the real person.
Friday, September 25th 2009 at 10:26AM |
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