Don't Get Suckered; Your Presence Is Required
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Posted By: Vinicent Holland on November 02, 2009 Don't get suckered. That's about the best advice I can offer to anybody. It seems to me that somebody is always looking for a person they can sucker into a deal that sounds like it will be of benefit to them only to find out that the real benefit was for the one selling the deal. I'm just tired of seeing so many people suckered out of their hard earned money and the precious minutes of their lives. That's part of the reason behind my developing some websites. I ain't gonna try to sucker you into believing that my websites are the make all, do all, beat all of websites; that would just be perpetuating the practice that I despise. Instead, I simply try to offer people access to information, articles, tips and products that I believe in, that I have used and am using today to make my life and my families life more comfortable. It's not all centered around pain toleration. No. I developed, for myself as I am not a doctor nor a medically trained person, what I call a multi-modal or multimodal pain toleration system. Now you might hear that term or look that term up on a search engine and find that people are describing multimodal pain toleration systems as being drug-based, where a combination of drugs that aren't typically used together are prescribed to attack various conditions. My personal mulitmodal pain toleration system isn't drug based. As a chronic pain sufferer, I have an upclose and personal view of the true effects of chronic pain. Don't get suckered into thinking that chronic pain only affects the pain sufferer. Afflictions affect the individual afflicted but they also affect that persons family, friends and co-workers; everybody who is or might interact with them. That realization motivated me to forget depending on medicines to achieve better toleration of my pain and develop a way to still enjoy as much of my life as I could despite the crippling affects of chronic pain. Don't get suckered into thinking that your life and the things you do, don't have a far reaching effect on many people. We tend to get caught up in our own lives and think that nobody really cares what we are going thru; that is until we aren't there to do what we normally do. Think about it. How much of a hassle is it when you go to your supervisor and mention that you want a day off during the normal work schedule? Don't some of them act like the world is going to stop and it's going to create a crisis if the let you off? Oh, the uproar. It's actually hilarious in hindsight. Jobs spend so much time sending you mixed messages. On one hand they hint that they need you and couldn't get business done without you and on the other hand they remind you that you can be quickly replaced. They walk that fine line, keeping you motivated and satisfied while at the same time letting you know that you're working in a "what have you done for me lately" environment. Don't get suckered into thinking that you're indispensable because "there's no indispensable man." So, be aware that even though jobs are sending mixed signals, what happens to you can cause a disruption that none of your co-workers or even supervisors want to deal with. Just like at work, where your presence when you are scheduled keeps things going smoothly, your presence in your families lives plays a major role. Your spouse has gotten accustomed to all of the things you do to help keep the household running and to make their lives, socially and intimately, as happy as can be. If you have children, they look up to you, view you as supermom or superdad and usually can't imagine life without you involved in it. Don't get suckered into thinking you don't have a major impact on the lives of others around you. Your friends are used to you being there when they call. They have come to expect that you will be there to watch the big game with them or go bowling on Thursday. Maybe you're the mechanical genuis in the group, whatever your role, others have formed an attachement to having you there to fill it. I had to take a big dose of my own words and accept the fact that, yes, I play a major role in other people's lives. With that in mind I set out to develop a system that would help me tolerate my chronic pains better without having to take more medicine than I was already taking. I did alot of reading offline and online. I talked to several other chronic pain sufferers and other people disabled by other conditions. The one thing that stood out to me is that humans are social creatures. We like to be with family and friends and when we get together for a good time, we feel better. We feel important when our family, friends or co-workers call on us to solve a problem. We love it when our spouse compliments us or wants to spend more intimate time with us. There are so many things that we do in our lives that give us a good feeling. The problem I discovered for chronic pain sufferers is the loss of the ability to be how we were before we became began suffering and at times disabling chronic pains. Depression becomes an issue. Self-esteem starts to sink low, low, low. Fatigue and general malaise tries to take over our lives. A feeling of failure, of worthlessness, of letting our spouses, friends, families and associates down looms like a shadow over us. All of Doctors recognize the mental aspect of being a chronic pain sufferer and many prescibe anti-depressants but that's just more medicine. My goal was to not add more medicine. I'm not a doctor or medically trained so using medicine in my multimodal system wasn't an option. I had to use what I could get access to. So what is my multimodal system? Quite simply the system I use includes the physical, mental, social and intimate aspects of my life. Physically I started a simple but consistent exercise regimen. I keep it simple to improve the odds of being able to exercise in some form everyday thereby making my regimen a success. I set myself up for success as often as I possibly can. If it's in my control, you better believe I'm going to stack the deck towards the "make me successful" side. Why would you want to add another self-esteem eater to your life? So on my website there's access to exercise videos as well as different types of exercise you can do at home. I read alot. I also listen to music, books on tape and radio talk shows. Anything that keeps my mind stimulated and keeps me "attached" to the world. Being a part of life around me helps remind me that even though the pain might take me off my feet at times, I'm still a viable part of my family's life and the lives of my friends,co-workers and associates. Whenever possible I attend outings that I'm invited to. I try to go out to dinner, the park, for rides and other activities outside of the house whenever possible. Being social pushes up the internal self-esteem rating as well as the "I'm a human being" aspect of being alive. When you are interacting with other human beings, you feel better. Keeping mentally and socially active helps me keep my energy level up. It gives me more strength to fight thru the chronic pain and to tolerate the chronic pain flareups. Meditation and stress relief are a huge part of my multimodal system. Doing some of the stretches found in Yoga as well as Pilates and other low impact exercise practices helps me as I get ready to meditate. Taking fifteen to twenty minutes each day to meditate, to close out the distractions of life and focus on my internal strengths and goals helps keep me driven to not give in to the chronic pain. It would be so easy to just give up and let the pain take over my life. I know what that feels like. I can understand how others have taken that road. They don't see and end to the pain and suffering. Everytime they seek help they are given skeptical looks and more medicine that basically makes them zombies. Take the medicine, sleep 3, 4 or 5 hours and wake up in pain then take more medicine and go back to sleep. Where is the living in that sequence? Where is the quality of life? The social interaction? The mental exercising? What does that leave to look forward to each day? Thank you GOD for my multimodal system. Thank you for my family, friends and associates. I appreciate them not turning their backs on me, checking in on me periodically and encouraging me to keep up the fight. I love my children for all the times they had to take a raincheck on different things and still gave me a hug and said I love you. I love my wife for fighting with me to overcome the draining effects of the chronic pain flareups. Of course, intimacy has to be approached creatively when your chronic pains are also related to back problems or leg problems. You have to use common sense and realize that there are limits but there are also lots of different ways to get things done. Kind of keeps you on your toes as well as keeps things interesting and exciting too. I encourage anybody who is fighting disabling conditions and are still able to participate, to take advantage of intimacy's power. The momentary escapes from the pains go a long way in the battle to not let chronic pains run your life. Combining all of the various components, the physical, the mental, the social and the intimate, into a regular regimen has helped me tolerate my chronic pains better and to ease my chronic pain flareups faster. I'm not gonna tell you it will get rid of your chronic pains, I wouldn't try to sucker you like that, but I will say that my multimodal system has made my life much more bearable than it was several years ago. Perhaps you can develop your own multimodal system. You know what makes you feel better. You know who your family, friends and associates are. I don't hide the fact that I'm fighting disabling chronic pains. As a matter of fact, I have explained it to my family and extended family as well as my friends and associates. I asked them to get involved in helping me tolerate my pains better, to call me and check on me from time to time. I encourage them to invite me out so I can't hold a "pity party" and stay locked up in my room. The more people you have pulling for you and checking in on you can lessen the likelihood of you checking out of being involved in life. Using a multimodal system attacks the affliction from all angles and utilizes one of our most basic desires; the desire to be a part of something, to help us fight thru to a brighter day. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Vinicent Holland
Pastor, Vinicent Holland Mississippi Valley State University class of 1981 Member Since October 2006 |
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