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Our Children Must Conform!!! To What?

Our Children Must Conform!!! To What?
Posted By: Dr. Okpara Nosakhere on July 02, 2010


I was in my car, sitting at a traffic light, when two young African American boys crossed the street. They were between the ages of 12 and 14. They both wore Afros, causing me to flash back to the 60’s, when the bush represented a king and queen through out every black neighborhood in America and around the world. It was all about being cool, expressing a posture of pride and reassurance, and a command for attention.

Then my eyes gazed downward to the rest of their anatomy. The T-shirts were fine. White and colorfully designed images with the latest Rapp Artists. But then we get to the pants. Blue Jean, opened at the front, pulled down to about 3 inches above the knee. The underwear were white with red poke-a-dots all over. I got the sense that he has a flair for outward expression.


As you would image my response was to shake my head from side to side and go…tisk…tisk…tisk, in disappointment.

Of course I went through the mental anguish of saying to myself, “If they only would apply themselves they could have so much more in life”. I’d go through the basics of food, clothing and shelter. Having a nice car, a beautiful wife and children. Having a great job I love and would retire there after 30 years. Going to the beach each summers and holidays. Going on a cruise once a year with close friends….

Then it hit me! How many of us have those things and have applied them. How many friends I know that are out of work in their field. PhD’s, who are driving taxicabs and flipping burgers at a fast food store.

I then asked myself… What are we asking our children to conform to?
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Dr. Okpara Nosakhere
President/ CEO at www.educationalmanagementassociates.com
True conformity is based on the individual buying into a particular cultural standard. A person must know and understand the value of submitting to a behavior pattern that is beneficial to the masses. Our children don't see any value placed on human behavior. The strata for living conditions and behaviors are so broad and diverse, it does not leave any boundaries for limits.

As some parables go, we should wait like sheep for the shepherd to lead us through our lives. But, we all know what eventually happens, the sheep are lead to the slaughter.
If anything, a shepherd or guide, should teach others how to be shepherds of their own lives.
This was once the role and responsibility of our elders in our village/communities. We must install this position of knowledge and wisdom again. The greatest and noblest way to affect change is through caring.
I intentional said caring instead of love. Because love is a feeling. But caring evokes action. It is deeds or actions, that speak louder than words.
The focus is to create a foundation/culture for a child to conform.
Questions?
Friday, July 9th 2010 at 2:51AM
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