10 Tips to Help Students Deal With Grief
Posted By: Shauntae Jordan on February 15, 2012 |
Whitney Houston sold more than 200 million albums and singles, and she had 11 No. 1 songs - including “I will always Love You,” which spent 14 weeks on top. I can hear voice whisper through my ear as though she is standing right beside me. Although I never met Whitney Houston personally her vibrant spirit soothed the world and empowered many souls. I am disheartened by the death of Whitney Houston; my prayers extend to the family and especially to her only daughter, Bobby Kristina.
Bobby Kristina is grieving the loss of her mother in front of media, strangers, family, and friends. I am certain Bobby Kristina is questioning, how she will live without her mother, her friend, and first love. I have not experienced the lost my mother, but I have lost. Grief can be a very lonely journey and one that must be endured after the loss of a loved one. It is important that as students work through the phases of grief to not become overwhelmed and continue to take care of themself. Listed below are 10 tips to help students deal with grief:
1. Be open and honest about emotions! There is nothing wrong with sharing your emotions! It is much better to shed than to explode. Cry, scream, breathe, and laugh. Whatever it takes to embrace the emotions that you are experiencing.
2. Seek Support: You do not have to travel the journey of loss alone. You can find support through your friends, family, church, or professional counselors. You can also seek out your local hospice agency located in your community to provide advice to get you started. Allow others to give you support during this time. Talking with others give relief to the soul.
3. Ask questions: Ask questions about the loss of your loved one. The process of asking questions will help you to reduce self-defeating thoughts, “If I were there I could have?” “I should’ve have stayed at home”, “It is my entire fault.” These thoughts occur when you are uncertain of the situation. Some questions that may offer comfort: “Was it peaceful?” “Did they have a request?” “What were their last request?”
4. It’s Okay to Grief. Don’t try to hide from your grief. It is important to experience the journey of pain and sorrow this will allow you to press forward towards healing
5. Create a Journal. A journal will allow you to release your inner thoughts.
You can name the journal after your loved one. You can make this journal a positive retreat for your thoughts. Share in conversation with your journal everything you can imagine sharing with your loved one. Cut out pictures that remind them of your relationship, the good times, and inspiration that your loved would speak to you in return. A journal provides self-expression and access to your inner relationship.
6. Pace Yourself: Healing is a process and grieving can be very exhausting. There will be times when you become tired and as though you cannot move forward. Restore your energy by resting when necessary. Reduce your day-to-day activity and don’t over-schedule yourself.
7. Stay Active: Find an activity that will keep you focused. This activity should be enjoyable and offer you peace. Surround yourself with positive people and make sure it offers joy to someone else this in return will bring you comfort.
8. Have some fun. Your loved one would want you to continue to live your best life possible. Take in a movie, a social outing, and to laugh. Laughter is an addictive and necessary medicine. Your loved one will be honored that you are celebrating their life and the time you shared with them.
9. Develop a tradition. Honor your loved one by planting a tree, organizing an event, or creating something that will keep their spirit alive for years to come. This ritual will keep the memory of your loved one alive.
10. Let Go. The most important thing for you to remember is that grief will not last always. One of my favorite quotes, “There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.” ~Author Unknown
Through SMJ Speaks, Shauntae M. Jordan is available for speaking engagements and covers topics that include building healthy self-esteem and self-worth, learning how to communicate effectively, addressing life skills, dealing with family relationships, making good decisions, how to have healthy dating and relationships, setting important goals, having a healthy body image and self-acceptance and so much more. To schedule a speaking engagement, workshop or one-on-one coaching session, please feel free to contact SMJ Speaks at 803-322-0087 or via e-mail at email@example.com
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