The McRib is Back...and who gives a Damn?
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Posted By: Roy Wood Jr. on November 10, 2005 Dear McDonalds, No one cares that the McRib is back. Every year around this time you re-release the McRib as if America is supposed to go crazy and line up in front of your store at 6 am. Just add the damn sandwich to your menu permanetly so that you can quit this silly PR campaign every year. Like the Arch Deluxe, Super Sizing, Super thick shakes and Apple Cinnamon McNugget Sauce (*remember that?*) the Mc Rib should be retired to your cemetery of failed ideas. I'll admit, I used to love the McRib but as I've matured I've started to have questions about the sandwich. What kind of meat is that? It's not pork. It's not beef. It's not Chicken. I'm guessing squirrel or rat. Which when served with enough BBQ sauce and onions could possibly taste like beef. What the hell are those fake bone humps in the meat for? To simulate where the rib bones SHOULD be? Why do this McDonalds? why fool me into thinking that a bone used to be where that hump is? I'm black I'm well aware of what an authentic rib sandwich looks like. There should be jagged bones hanging out the side waiting to cut your lip wide open. Not a nice neat perfect little meat patty that's the same size as the bun it's served on. Why Does the McRib only come around once a year?- This is actually a question that I already know the answer to. If you're going to make a fake meat sandwich with fake bone humps in the middle it takes time to "press the meat" Somewhere in America there is a factory that presses McRib meat into the shape that it's served in. Putting fake bone humps in meat is a painstaking process which is why the McRib only comes around once a year. Here's a suggestion McDonalds, instead of putting up a large 7 foot banner announcing the return of the fake meat sandwich put some things on the banner that may actually attract new business. Here are a few suggestions. "HARD WORKING EMPLOYEES ARE BACK!!' "EMPLOYEES THAT ACTUALLY GET YOUR ORDER RIGHT-ARE BACK!!" "ENGLISH SPEAKING EMPLOYEES ARE BACK!!! " "It's just my thoughts. Right or Wrong, just what I was thinking at the time."- Jay-Z Wood, Jr. www.roywoodjr.com New prank call Downloads Dec. 1st If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Roy Wood Jr.
From Birmingham, AL Florida A&M University class of 2001 Member Since August 2005 |
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