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Terry McMillan shows women once again.....

Terry McMillan shows women once again.....
Posted By: Terence Hendrix on November 10, 2005

I know I'm going to push someone's buttons with this, but isn't that what a blog is all about? With that said, let the games begin!

Okay, so I'm watching A&E and they show a commercial for Oprah yesterday having Terry McMillan and her Ex-hubbie as the guests for that day. Now I like Oprah....not enough to watch her show on the norm, but I dig her style. She as a Black woman can shape the world the way George Soros can topple economies. I'm all for that!

So anyway, the topic was the first interview that Terry McMillan and Jonathon Plummer (her Ex-husband) gave since he announced that he was gay. Now keep in mind, I don't subscribe to that lifestyle (unless it is two women of course), however, If that's what moves the next man, well then so be it. Just don't ask me to participate and we can still be cool.

I digressed! The real irony to this story, for me, was the fact that this is the same cat that she used as the basis for her book "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." She met and married this cat and they had been happily married for 6 years, up until the past 2 years when this guy figures out that he enjoys playing with the boys more than the girls.
This is the same guy who was used as the measuring stick for all of us black male heterosexuals out there when that dayum book and then subsequently the movie came out.



Us Brothers caught hell at the hands of every woman who read any of Terry McMillan's books because we all of a sudden we weren't Sh*# according to these make believe characters found in these books! Couple up "Stella" with "Waiting To Exhale", and it was almost curtains for the Black Male population in regards to his female counterpart.

Now, the title of this is blog is to state that Terry McMillan shows women once again that you have to use your brain in selecting your relationships. You cannot all jump on the same bandwagon when the pied piper comes to town telling you another reason why Black men ain't sh#*. And, contrary to popular belief, God is not going to bring you a man.....you need to get out there and meet God more than half way on that journey. God helps those who help themselves.
When you live for the extreme fantasy, you can end up with the extreme nightmare. God gave you 2 eyes, 2 ears, and 1 mouth......meaning speak half as much as you look and listen. So sayeth the Lord.

Do I dislike Terry McMillan......No. I can appreciate her ability to express herself. I feel sad not only that she had to go through that type of ordeal but also because it was in such a public fashion. Her heart is broken, but I think the anger comes from more of a shear embarrassment that Jonathon Plumer (her gay Ex) brought to the table through his actions.

However, I do somewhat feel a sense of vindication in everything that has happened. Black women have followed these books as the gospel on relationships for many years now.

It's amazing how even the prophet at times cannot see what is in plain view of the masses.
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WILLIAM W. HEMMANS III
Florida A&M University class of 1995
Deep Bro, I saw something about that show in passing.
It was brief what I saw, but I found it odd for both.
I once asked a lady pastor who was divorced because she found out her husband was gay. I asked her respectfully how did she not know. She had mentioned his odd situations with male guys he knew before they were married.
Of course this does not fit all cases.
Friday, November 11th 2005 at 1:50AM
Heather Daye
Hampton University class of 1998
Ok, first I am slightly disturbed that you are quoting scripture, but you are right (as usual). Unfortunately, women, as well as men, get caught up in the fantasy of an ideal mate. I believe it is more profound in women, because there are more books, magazines and movies geared toward us, more than men. So, I guess the solution is to get your head out of the book (and your @ss) and be realistic but who you are and what you want.
Friday, November 11th 2005 at 9:08AM
I am so sorry that you feel that way. I am also sorry that you have been subjected to women who make you feel that way. I never tripped on a man or said he wasn't sh** unless I experience his mistreating me first hand. I live by innocent until proven guilty. There are some black men out there who have fallen off or taken the wrong turn but I love to focus on the Strong Black men out there who are doing something with their life. I try to encourage women to be understanding and stand behind our black men. Because if we don't do it no one will. I enjoy reading Terry McMillian's novels and I enjoy watching the movies but that's all I take it for...enjoyment. I read and watch for pleasure! It's ashame that our Sister, Terry had to go through this but it's hard for me to believe that she didn't see some kind of sign that her man was gay.....Love makes us blind sometimes.
Friday, November 11th 2005 at 10:44AM
Terence Hendrix
Hampton University class of 1995
To my sister Avia: I am happy that you disagree. I am curious as to what level you do disagree. I could've gone into even more depth concerning this, however, it is already quite long (so I've been told) and I think that I have put in enough info to spark up a conversation. My intention was to make a person challenge their own beliefs on this topic and to actually think. This is the first time I've written a blog. I usually don't bother with them, but I just couldn't resist this!
Friday, November 11th 2005 at 2:03PM
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