Playing with Fire
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Posted By: Nik on March 02, 2006 The last couple days have been interesting feelings wise for me. Something has happened in the past couple of days that hasn't happened in the past two years; I think I may be slightly attracted to someone who isn't my husband. Not attracted in the way like oh I wanna jump his bones, nah. But attracted in the way that if I wasn't with Andre, I might actually be interest in getting to know this person more. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to leave my man for this person, that would be kind of dumb. And I'm not going to cheat cuz thas never been my style. The reason I can say slightly attracted is because some of that God given sense has kept the feelin at bay. Just having the feeling period is enough to make me stop and re evaluate some shyt. What's trippy about the whole thing is that Andre and I are not doing bad at all. We're actually doing pretty damn good if I must say so myself. My feelings for him haven't changed in the least, he's still my everything. But this other thing.....I don't even know. Talking to him today I could've cried. For those who don't know, the slightest thing can make me feel guilty in respects to my relationship. Like if a guy says something wayy too perverse on the street and I laugh instead of getting mad (as black women are trained too do :-P), I'll feel guilty. So being slightly attracted to this person is making me feel like I'm freakin cheating. And mayne, Andre doesn't deserve that. It was actually the counselor with the Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) at my school (I'm a peer counselor/senior leader with the program) that kind of bought all this to light. I was just telling her about all the new ppplz I'd been meeting lately and when I was talking about this one person, she was like "It sounds like you may be attracted to this person." Its like she opened pandora's box with this shyt. I think it's more the thought of actually having the feeling that's bugging me the most. Add that onto the fact it seems like it's going to be ANOTHER month before I see Andre again because he wants to hang out this weekend (though all of sudden today he mentioned working when originally he told me he didn't work this saturday) and I have a party to go to next weekend. The weekend after that I may have another party to go to (social obligations mayne, I already said I'd go) but I don't know. The RAPP counselor said it may actually be me just wanting something excited to happen in my life right now since everything is pretty damn boring if I must say so myself. I go to school, get home before 1pm, hang out in the HBCU chat for alil bit, go to sleep, wake up around 6 or 7, go back in the chat (yes, I'm starting to live in there :-P) , and just chill for the rest of the night. But this whole thing could be playing with fire and lets just say, I'm not looking forward to getting burned. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Nik
From Jamaica, NY Howard University class of 2010 Member Since December 2005 |
Comments
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U know what the RAPP counselor is right b/c u are lookin for some exictement in ur life especially lookin at ur schedule. Its nothin wrong with being attracted to another person just as long as u don't try anything. To tell u the truth I am speechless about the situation ur going through. But just don't get too involved with this person b/c u never know u may start to have feelings for this person and it may start to show in the relationship then ur bf will question u. Maybe I'm wrong but u should talk to ur bf about being bored b/c that apart of being in a relationship, let ur spouse know thats where he's there for. But I hope I helped u out but I if I didn't then maybe u should pray about it. So be strong and keep ur head up.
Thursday, March 2nd 2006 at 6:59PM |
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Thanx for the advice, I'm not going to act on anything because I don't even know if he feels the same way. Plus my feelings for my man haven't changed at all, I still love him with everything I have to give.
Thursday, March 2nd 2006 at 7:11PM |
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I felt the same way except it was only my boyfriend. we were together for about 2 and a half months and i love him dearly but i didnt feel the same bond and closeness as i did with a guy that my friend introduced me to. at first this new guy and i just taked but we became closer every time we talked, now im with him. breaking up with my boyfriend was extreemly hard but its unfair to stay in that relationship if i had stronger feelings for someone else. i really hope you make the right decision...good luck!
Thursday, March 2nd 2006 at 8:25PM |
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I think you should tell your bf but you have to be careful how you come off when you say this to him. Having this convo wit him might be what you need to spark that something new in ur relationship that you are missin. This new dude I believe couldn't have come at a better time, he is givin you the opprtnty to look at ur current situation with ur BF. Tellin ur bf this may open his eyes to see what he may need to imprve upon inorder to keep thngs excitin. Don't stress yourself, you need to have these feelins about others inorder 2 appreciate what god has given you. Are you n ur bf going to da same college? Saturday, March 4th 2006 at 11:15AM |
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Friday, June 2nd 2006 at 2:54PM |
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