Attending Your First Wedding? 5 Proven Methods for Looking like a Fool
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Posted By: Anica Oaks on January 02, 2019 You’ve finally reached the age where your friends are beginning to find love and get married. You’ve received your first wedding invitation in the mail, and you’re wondering how could most effectively screw things up as a guest. Well, look no further. Here are five proven methods for looking like a fool at a wedding. Don’t RSVPYou can make a fool of yourself even without showing up. This can happen if you fail to RSVP. If you want to prove yourself as someone who is grossly unreliable, then don't RSVP. You'll leave the hosts in suspense about whether or not you're coming, and they won’t be able to make seating and food arrangements with any sense of assurance. Skip the GiftDon't bring a gift to the wedding. The hosts are treating you to a wonderful and costly ceremony and reception. So, it only makes sense that you would repay them with only your presence. Come without a gift, or a grossly inappropriate one, and see just how grateful they are. Wear Improper AttireAppearances are important at formal occasions, so be sure to wear improper attire when attending the wedding. If there's a dress code, do your best not to follow it. If it’s a traditional wedding, wear Circle S brand dress pants. If it’s a ranch wedding, wear a tux. Better yet, don’t even bother checking whether there’s a code. Just show up in whatever clothes feel most comfortable. You’ll be guaranteed to draw attention away from the bride and groom, and mocked at length on the Instagram feeds of other guests. Defy DecorumThere is, of course, etiquette for attending a wedding, and you want to make sure to disobey these unwritten rules at all costs. You should have your phone on full volume and answer it if it rings during the ceremony. You should also smother the newlyweds with attention, thereby keeping them away from anyone else. Essentially, if you think a certain action will perceived as disrespectful, then by all means do it. Eat and Drink Too MuchThe reception is a highlight of many a wedding. But you can make it a disappointment for all guests by drinking yourself silly and eating more than your fair share of food. Don’t worry about how much money the bride and groom invested in providing fancy drinks and hors d’oeuvres. Eat until your stomach can’t fit another bite. Drink until you’re buzzed, and then drink some more. This way, you’ll be more likely to act rudely, ensuring you offend both the newlyweds and the most important people in their lives. If you've never been to a wedding before, you might be a bit nervous. But as long as you're aware of common courtesy and ignore it completely, you'll be sure to make an absolute fool of yourself. Want to never get invited to a wedding again? Then you should try these methods. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Anica Oaks
Freelance Writer, Freelance University of San Francisco class of 2012 Member Since November 2016 |
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