Sensitive gene
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Posted By: marlon fields on June 19, 2006 I guess since the beginning of time people can relate to women having that "sensitive gene". Whether it was being a nurturing mother, or a caring wife, even a supportive girlfriend. I am fully aware that times do change. Back in the day females didn't work really, they just took care of home. That is prehistoric now. Women are out working and making lives for themselves. They are becoming really independent. But it does appear that with the move from being a housewife to independent woman, they are beginning to lose that sensitive gene. Or are they just supressing it to protect their feelings? Because over the years they have been put through the mud. To be a strong independent person,you have to shield of certain emotions it seems. That sensitive gene is something I believe a woman should have and a man will need from her to get through good and bad times. Does any females feel like they are having to supress their sensitive side to prevent from getting hurt? And do any men out there feel it helpful for women to display it? If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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marlon fields
N/A, N/A Norfolk State University class of 2006 Member Since May 2005 |
Comments
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Good blog Bro. I know this is mainly for female comments but if I might add my 2cents in the part you ask men to comment. Women have always worked and I don't know if you have ever taken care of a home Bro. that is hard work and to carry a baby for 9 months, well... You try it, I did with what they called an empathy suit while Executive director of a community center. The program was brough in as a goal of mine for none of my youth to have any babies, I tried on that 80 pound suit and was told to bend over, lay on my side, lay on my back and try laying on my stomach. Most uncomfortable as well as it was for all the others. It gave me a new found respect for women. Also if You notice Proverbs 31:10-31, that is a working woman. Evew was a helpmeet of Adam and they had no children before they were kicked out of the garden, I don't believe Eve sat around all day. Women bust their tales during slavery days and worked during the Jim Crow era. Did you see the Rosa Parks movie? She worked her behind off and during the civil rights era, there were more women at those bus stops then men and if you think about it, those were mothers who worked all day, came home, cooked, cleaned, took care of children and then had to take care of the man, not all there were some but in general as society has been allowed to dictate, the woman takes the bulk of the load in caring for children. Only recently has it been allowed for men to take maternity and child care time off from work by the Bill Clinton establishment if I might add. Maybe this is why there is a vast tend for women exceeding men in huge numbers in the workplace, the genes... Women have outworked men and the average man has become passive due to training, but biblically this is not to be so. never in the Bible has it been anywhere as I discussed with a young lady last night for the man to sit home while she works. I had a problem back in college that led to the break up of me and my ex because she was banking huge as a pharmacist and I'm making $7.50 per hour with a degree coming out of college... My mindset would not allow me to accept that and I acted out badly and errantly, long story... Just imagine the video of the girl I can't think of her name (Not getting old by the way, Lol!) who used to be with Ja rules group who played a celebrity and her boy friend Lars Tate is at her home with other women, he could not handle her success and she is led off into the lights at the end of the video and he backs away into the shadows with the crowd. Hope I clarify on that video. I just have to give cit where due bro. Only very few women stayed home and took care of children, think about it, back then 99.9% of men did not make enough income, their jobs were limited from farming to waiting tables or low paying factory jobs where they worked themselves into early graves. Even today the average man does not make enough income to take care of family by himself, so the woman works also and then is expected to have dinner on, take care of kids, be there when they arew sick because his job takes precedence. Can you ladies imagine Your man saying or expecting you to sacrifice and take up majority time with the kids and you make more money than he does? Reverance from the family is earned... Think about it. During slavery days women worked, were on no birth control, no sanitary items as we think of today (respectfully), had babies under trees, covered them up, went back to work bleeding in those tobacco fields all day in the states and in those rice fields all day in the islands, took care of the children, cooked, got beat by husbands frustrated due to the times and lack of control, watched their babies sold off, I can go all day with this one Bro. Great blog, great question but a lot of naivety here (Respectfully), it sounds condescending when you state "Just took care of home", which includes appointments, up throughout the night for crying babies, school, school work, illnesses, house finances, groceries, clothes, women can add a lot to this one. I agree with you that women are more desensitized and are not taught a lot of things anymore due to the times we live in and something that would take a lot of time to write on... Lastly I don't know if you are a father or a pet owner, but I do know you have people you care about, :"Nurturance, Support, Love etc.", is one of the most energy draining experinces far surpassing the physical. When a loved one or someone you care about is not doing right according to the way you feel, it affects everything with the physical included. I just wrote on several sites about Fathers Day, no comments by women or men which I feel is partly indicative of the way the average woman feels about men and the average man not growing up with the father and many men not fitting the bill of what a great father is which does not imply a perfect person. Now a Mothers day blog or post no matter how many recives much more attention... Of course women need to display a certain side as well as men. There is also common sense that God gave all of us where in Proverbs 31:3 the scripture states to not give all Your strength to her because it destroys Kings, look at what happened to Adam, to Solomon, to David... Now the Bible is neutral gender in most areas thus this applies to women as well, give not all your strength to the man either because it destroys Queens. There has to be a balance and this is talking about an unhealthy, someone is not doing their part balance. This would take a while to expound on but I think most know what I mean. If the relationship is a good one then this does not apply. I have been there done that where i did most and she did not, I have been nthere where she did most and I did not. Defense mechanisms, training were built in that needed to be filtered pout and moderated. Also choice plays the largest part of this and the greatest is having God in there in the first place to cross the inherent gaps in male/female relations. I do find that half of sistahs are defensive and the other half are all out there and a tiny % have their stuff together and you ain't gonna just be in there like that without time and doing your part. Pro 31:1-31 is a perfect balance where she has his back and he has hers in bringing or enhancing all that she is towards the end of those scripture verses. Well I could say so much more Bro, keep up the good work man, impressive and I have to give credit where due. Peace. p.s. I have experienced that no matter how defensive a woman may be, I wrote a blog about a female that carried herself as a thug in reference to Valentines Day, no matter if a straight up lesbian, I have encountered and still treated like a lady no matter how tough she tries to be and you know what, something in them kicked in and that femininity came out bright and clear. I'm not sayin it lasted long, but I know an impression was left... I can say much more in this area also. Oh and I was talking to a sistah last night not to far away from this point of view you present and I told her she may be giving off signals of being unapproachable, may be true, may not be true, I do not know here that well. There are sistahs as I talked about in a past blog on chivalry that will curse you out for getting the door, why in my opinion? So they can feel confirmed that good men are not out there... peace, don't want to end up writing a book here, Lol! A lot of paradigms in this blog, great job again Bro. By by the way, try taking care of kids all day and the million other things that go along with it, perhaps and you probably will some day find out, you'll change your mind even though you may have not meant to lessen, I know that tonality and not knowing the person can be hard to distinguish on a computer screen. I have to be fair, this is part of the reason I answer so many blogs, I feel if I write blogs and people respond, it is only fair to answer other peoples blogs I feel are relevant for me and what I see time permitting. There are some people and we all have our rights that only do their blogs and think not about any others. But get mad if people do not answer their blogs. Proverbs 18:24 I tell them, to have friends one must be friendly... Peace Monday, June 19th 2006 at 7:35PM |
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Yes, because I am like that because of my father since he is so hard on me and it hurts really bad. So I look at him as a male figure and wonder whenever I date or if I get married then I should not be too close to a man emotional becasue they will hurt me!! So I am that type of woman but it's hard from my point of view everyone will get their heart broken. The main point is that my reason for being that way is because of my father and his verbal abuse. With that if I ever meet someone I have feelings for I will open up about my life because in my head I'm thinking that he may used that to hurt me so that's how I feel.
Monday, June 19th 2006 at 8:48PM |
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Oh I forgot to add that despite all that many of those women, were doing isn't it ironic that many of those men left those families behind for the woman to do it all on her own? Even more ironic is that those men that are guilty created new families. My mother was a 3.8 college student as a Junior at FAMU. She was a virgin when she met my father. He after she had birthed 3 of us left stating his family was holding him back and he had to do what he had to do. I remember when I met 3 younger siblings of mine and he stated this when I was 27, 22 years later... He had forgotten that he had said those words years before and I had remembered and I came to waycross originally to pay him back but I coiuld not hit him, long story, I write a bout it. I'm not trying to go sideways on you Bro. but adding in another perspective on why a lot of sistahs are the way they are but my problem is that too many sistahs put all men in the same boat and they go after the same type men their fathers were and when a good one does come along... It is conditioning and there is scripture where God did not blame the women because the man thast was first conditioned them more than he could ever realize by either being or not being there. I'm writing a chapter in my book titled, "Parents Need To Realize The Demons That They Spawn". That would be a whole new blog. For You Ms. Shontae read Isaiah 40:28-31 its for You and for any Young person who struggles. Biblically anyone under the age of 40 is considered Youth. It was given to me years ago when I was at the height of lets just say negative behaviors I was doing. I had to come to my own awareness that I could not blame mommy and daddy anymore because when I was out there wronging people and exhibiting negative behaviors, people saw me... Also I have to live my own life and not theirs. Maybe that is a hint to You Sis. Also try Jer 33:3,6 just ask... God Bless Peace William Tuesday, June 20th 2006 at 12:37AM |
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