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A Soulful Relationship

A Soulful Relationship
Posted By: Chenique L. Jeffress on October 23, 2006


I received this from a friend and thought this we be good to share, things we should all keep in mind.

A Soulful Relationship



If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married,

share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An

African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open,

and after you marry, close one eye. "Before you get involved and make a

commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,

ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to

warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can

change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.



Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their Flaws,

vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,

you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing

bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations,

emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two

unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.



Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you

bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with

each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? (like telling a

person when and who they can look at, even if they find someone else

beautiful - pathetic - no names) What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?



You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make

someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,

spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making

someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your

pain.



Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are

not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting

relationship.



Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in

a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong? Communication,

intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway

time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared

activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on

their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and

interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other,

giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure.



Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together.

Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't

try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect

his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for

material goods. (as I know someone who requested a gift from her

husband, he bought something else, and she complained that it was not

exactly the bracelet she wanted - ridiculous) Remember for richer or for

poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as

resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the

passion.



" Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any

higher than you think." The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the

word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8 Shall we make a new rule of life

from tonight. Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The

difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the I. Life
is

not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that

take our breath away.



ANYONE WHO PRESCRIBES THE DIAMETER OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE...
CONTROLS THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF YOUR ACTIVITY.


Be Blessed
Reverend Ronald McFadden


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Tyhesha Judge-Fogle
Claflin University class of 1998
On point

Monday, October 23rd 2006 at 11:00PM
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