WHAT DOES EX REALLY MEAN???
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Posted By: Monica Brown on January 03, 2007 I WAS READING AN ARTICLE IN A MAGAZINE LAST NIGHT AND JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THIS. WHEN YOU BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER DOES THAT MEAN YOU ALSO BREAK UP WITH HIS/HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS? THEY HAD A FEW SCENERIOS LISTED, BUT THE ONE THAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION WAS ABOUT A WOMAN WHO SPENDS CHRISTMAS WITH HER HUSBAND AND CHILDREN, BUT THE NEXT DAY GOES TO SPEND TIME WITH HER EX BOYFRIEND'S FAMILY. THAT HAS BEEN HER TRADITION EVERY YEAR. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS IT A FORM OF HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU THINK MAY REKINDLE? MY OPINION IS ONCE YOU HAVE DECIDED TO SPLIT, THEN THAT MEANS EVERYTHING. YOU CAN'T REALLY BOND WITH A FUTURE IF YOU CAN'T LET GO OF THE PAST. IT'S ONLY FAIR THE FUTURE FOR YOU AS THE PAST TO MAKE ROOM BY MOVING ON. THIS TOPIC IS OFFICIALLY OPEN... If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
Comments
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Whoa...now that is crazy--spending the next day with the ex and his family...that is serious attachment asking for serious trouble. It may not be trouble for the moment, but as soon as something sour happens in her marriage "Who will she run to" he is right there...and within easy access. You have to be careful with the ex's...because you have a connection a past and feelings can easily creep back. I keep my ex's at a distance, we e-mail each other every once in a while to see how life is but that is the extent. It is okay to wish success for your ex, but you can't try and hold on to a close friendship like that.
Wednesday, January 3rd 2007 at 6:42PM |
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I totally agree Danesha. I think she is looking for trouble and just might find it.
Thursday, January 4th 2007 at 1:53PM |
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Yea, a little extreme, but I disagree a little bit. I was married for a long time, and I don't have a horror story or the feelings issue, but I think its kinda wrong that I don't make time to see my extended family. I mean if you have a relationship with them, some history, its kinda messed up that they get divorced too in the deal. What about step kids? If the relationship was genuine and not just dealing with them cause you're married, why does the contact stop? I'm probally a little more set than most people, and maybe more green, but if connection creep up is still an issue, why do people break up. Not just you, lots of people do. Why is that?
Friday, January 5th 2007 at 12:10AM |
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I can't really answer that. I've been married only once and still am after 16 years. I understand that there is a relationship that builds. I have been with my inlaws for 19 years. I would be greatly hurt if something should happen and my husband and I decide to get a divorce (although I rebuke that right now in the name of Jesus!). I would want to keep in contact with my in laws and would; however that contact would in no way flow over into the 'family gatherings'. I would keep phone contact and see my mother in law when it's just us around. I would not be stopping over to their home and making myself visible. That is an invasion of the 'future' or 'prospective' daughter in law. Sure, you should see them, if that's your desire. But, the article was about ex's who keep in contact with their ex's family with hopes of keeping in contact with the ex. Friday, January 5th 2007 at 11:35AM |
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Oh, ok. Gotcha
Sunday, January 7th 2007 at 7:41PM |
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Most people do not realize that an ex is not an ex if still connected in spirit that only God can break, long story but many relationships falter because much has been brought along instead of left behind and multiply this by all the personalities in people. Anyway, great post! Tuesday, January 30th 2007 at 3:58PM |
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