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Last Letter

Last Letter
Posted By: L D Horne on January 18, 2007





Last Letter

Hey, how’s it hanging Mr I don’t know what to call you
I know it’s been how long? 2000 since we spoke yeah true
I guess your fingers were broken
No big deal for me I’ve had 30 plus years of practicing not hoping
To establish a relationship with a person who does not know
The man I have become as the years continue to go
On and on and on and on devoid of you in any capacity
I realized long ago you can’t change, you are constant like gravity
But at least gravity brings two objects closer to one another
Because we are the opposite, we seem to repel from each other

I guess through this letter to my father I will vent
About how I remember little time spent
How absentee you were during my innocent years
How you were not there to subdue my fears
And why? Because you were too busy
Because of the times you spent in the penitentiary
I can coin that you taught me that I will not go to prison
In jail, how can I be there for my children?

But let me stop making the excuses you’d tell
Prison was not the only rationale
There was something more hideous
And honestly, I can’t put my finger on it
I know you were a rolling stone
And how many children you sired as the years went on
LaQuicia, Lawrence, Leonard and I
Were not enough so you continued to abide
By whatever urges you had inside
Next came Benny and Rasheeda
We all speak of a seventh but we didn’t meet her
Is there an eighth? Probably
Though I love my siblings, right now I’m talking about me

You wait until I am 21 to establish rapport
When I was joining the service and you asked what for
What for? Because I wanted to be my own man
On my own two feet I will make my stand
Break the curse of all eight of my uncles and you
I decided at the age of five prison is something I will not do
When I saw you at that age in Trenton State
I said to myself, self this is not your fate
Not saying I’m better than you or my life is great
Just, I will not make the same mistakes

The Bible says to honor your parents so your days will be long
How can I truly honor you when you give me the same song
And dance that you are too obligated
Go do what you do, I am not fascinated
I can coin what led me to leave you alone
When my grandmother passed you didn’t use the phone
To contact me, I didn’t have a chance to react
Because I had to find out three months after the fact
So I could not pay my respects
And you wonder why we don’t talk WTF you expect

Bet you don’t know I’ve been to war and back
Bet you don’t know how you impact
My decision to remove you from my contact
As a matter of fact
Bet you didn’t now how my life has taken course
Bet you didn’t know about my divorce
Bet you didn’t know much of anything prevalent
So hear a few more items of my discontent
So my ups, I could not celebrate with you
And my downs, I could not lean to you
Yeah, basically I’m through
With you
If I died in GWOT (Global War on Terrorism)
A man in uniform will visit you not
Some may say what does this solve
Not much really, it’s just my resolve
That since you are not interested in my life at best
You damned sure would not be interested about my death
Peace
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Leandra Hudson
Northern Illinois Univ class of 2012
Wow, that was really deep. It took my breath away for a second.
Monday, May 7th 2007 at 3:08PM
Thanks, Princess. No one has really commented on this one.
Wednesday, May 16th 2007 at 3:14AM
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