Thank You for your Support
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Posted By: Tawain Kelly on January 29, 2007 Where I am now Why my support system has gotten me to this point in my life By: Tawain E. Kelly When the article came out in March I was scared because even now we still have those people who judge people who are HIV as being nasty or deserve what they got especially in the black community. I told myself that people are going to judge and look at me funny, but I knew that the article would help someone if only one. So I decided to pass the article out myself. One of the first student that saw me, look at me and said “That’s the guy who has AIDS”, I read lips good. So instead of running away I ran to her. She apologize for staring and I told her that it was ok because what the meant to me was that she was curious and it was my chance to openly talk to someone on campus about HIV/AIDS. Next person was one of the basketball players who just look at me in amazement. I guess because he has been in some of my classes and was shock to know I was positive. I remember saying that Magic Johnson was not the face of HIV, but I was the face. I had a reality check, when someone told me I was not the face. I realize that there are so many faces to HIV/AIDS and me and Magic is just one faces of this disease. Everyday like me he wake up knowing he is HIV positive, but make an effort to make a difference in someone life. Because Magic Johnson decided to be open about his status, I think people in general are better off because he has allowed people to say its ok and I can live. From the littlest children born with the virus to the oldest woman living with the virus, HIV does not discriminate. That is why a support system is great to have and I want to say thank you. Its one thing to know your family love you, but when people you just meet circle themselves around you and hold you like, Benedict College students, especially those creative souls in the Mass Communication Department. When you are in so much pain and so sick that something as crazy a bag of Salt N Vinegar chips have made you sick. Then to have people like Mr. & Mrs. Hopper, Ms. Shabazz, Ms Meetz, Mr. McKnight, and my call on parents Ms. Susan Dugan and Lorraine Dunbar to protect me like parent do their child. My pain became their pain and when I wanted to quit because of the pain they encourage me not to quit. Don’t tell me I don’t have an excellent support system. After the article came out many people pick up the article and over night I started getting phone calls. People asking me how much I would charge, like I said it was never about money but all about educating the youth. One thing that did happen was all the prays I got from people I didn’t know. I tell you they had prays going up for me and boy this summer I needed them all. The first part of the summer I was place back in the hospital with Pneumocystis carinii (PC) pneumonia. It was bad because I knew that back in the day that a lot people died from PC pneumonia. So in my mind I felt like I was getting ready to die, until I talk to my mom and my niece because they gave me the strength to get up in move. I was invited to a planning commission do something about the rise in HIV/AIDS in South Carolina. I was pull to the side and I was told by this gentleman the “No body cares about your mother or your niece and I wasn’t strong enough to take on a job that basically they search me out and offer me so they fired me. The fact of this person coming and saying that my mother, my niece and all the people who support me didn’t matter made him the fool. If it wasn’t for those people who openly support me, I would be like so many other African-American people who are HIV positive, staying with strangers and looking for support in the wrong places. Next year on September 12, 2007 between 4 and 4:30pm I would know I have been positive for 10 years and I would celebrate because I am still here. If I am not here then celebrate for me because I made it, because of my support system. During the summer I got depress, my cousin lost his triplets the day I got out the hospital and a week and a day after they buried the triplets, my cousin James Cuthbert Jr. was shot in the head three times and then I was place back in the hospital with PC pneumonia in both lungs. I was down to 101 pounds my face had sink in and I was turning gray. When I went in the last time I was hook up to the oxygen machine, put on morphine and ask what I wanted to if I become non-response. I remember Ms. Goodwin who is like to a second mom, who has always been one of my biggest supporters rushing to the hospital and I just collapse in her mom. The doctors and nurse came in the room trying to at least make comfortable. Ms. Goodwin brought her granddaughters up to the hospital because they wanted to see me and they lost it. If I ever wanted to know how HIV/AIDS affect a child that was my chance. If they were affected like that then I knew my niece was not ready for me to die, so I told myself its time to fight and fight hard. I made it. Whatever came my way I was going to fight as hard as I can? I was place on the new medicine called Atripla the one a day pill and it was working, at least I thought it was until I get out the hospital and find out that one part of the medicine wasn’t working, so I was taking off and put on several other pills. Right now I battling bad anxiety attacks, to where I cry, can’t move and shake so bad. Yesterday had fever of a 103.3 but its ok because I am believer. I mean so many people have prayed for me to it becomes overwhelming. I am so appreciate of not only Benedict College because I am a name not a number I am somebody at Benedict. I appreciate of the staff at the MCC Clinic my doctors and nurse, Hawthorn Pharmacy, my other mother Thelma Cornish and her husband and kids, Mr. and Ms. Goodwin, Sabrina, Wendy, William, Angie, Vanessa and the entire Goodwin clan because I am their child, Curtis Wilson my mentor who has allow me to be me , Chris, Darci, Nat, Wendy and the WLTX family, River of Life my church family who allowed me to stand in front of the alter and give my testimony, Richland Memorial Hospital, Wilbur and Frankie Tucker, Kim, Gino and Shannon (Nett), Nicole, Keisha, LeRoy,, Cynthia, Boom, Lamile, the McMillan Family, Black, the Bouknights, Foulks all of you, Gwen and my best Tamika-Goodwin Maddox for over 19 years this has been my best friend the one who stuck by when I gave up. She prayed for me and protects me when I didn’t want to protect myself. My family has always been my greatest support system; I have the type family that people want to be a part of. All my aunts and uncle love me and to them I am still the one to come too if you want to know what is going on in the family. Cousins that love me because I belong to them and nothing can ever stop that not even death. When I am sick they are sick, because my family loves me. My brother who had to go to the store and buy pampers the size of a six month old for his brother and he didn’t do it because he had to, he did it because I am his baby brother and he love me. He knew me nine months before I knew myself and he always said he would take care of me and he has. The sad part is with HIV/AIDS he can’t stop some things I go through but because he love me its all ready all right. My sister-in-law who has fought for my survival and will not let me gives up. And that niece of minds who tell me she love me and she tell her friends when I am sick “You can’t be around my uncle his immune system is low” my protector. That woman who didn’t know anything about HIV/AIDS, that told me and my brother to wear a condominium so we don’t bring any babies home. She would get up before I got up have my medicine ready, have my food ready, and put my medicine in the feeding tube. My momma is my rock, so the fact of someone saying she don’t matter. I tell you that have no clue, because it is her love, and the love of the Almighty that got me here. And first and last in my life the Almighty where would be if I wasn’t safe in His Arms. I have been told by so many I should have been dead. But He told me to live; I will fight until I can’t fight no more. This hard and I tell you I go through it, but if I can help you not go through what I go through, then it will be worth. Your lives are so important and some of you don’t realize it, you don’t get it. Peer Networks/Education about HIV/AIDS and other STD’s is needed in every community, but especially in the black community. Instead of saying somebody should do something, why not say I am somebody so let me do something. If one of us has HIV/AIDS we all have it. We need peer networks/education on HBCU campus or my story want be the last story. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Tawain Kelly
Freelance Video Photographer , Ty Photography Benedict College class of 2007 Member Since May 2005 |
Comments
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Folks are in the closet and ashamed about much smaller issues. That's got to take tremendous courage, Tawain. You are absolutely right though. Alot of what we do on HIV, race, and on and on is just ignorance. Unless we open the door to communication, we just stay ignorant. Thanks for opening the door. I would like to help you get the message across. I'm going to leave my info.
Tuesday, January 30th 2007 at 2:08AM |
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