The Chase..
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Posted By: Christie Mack on July 30, 2008 Just so we’re clear… if there is one thing in life that you can count on it is my consistency. It is the fact that if you run… I will not chase you. See, I’m hip to the game and the fact that there is so to speak a scarcity of men, more importantly GOOD men. Men have discovered this as well, and with this discovery came the disappearance of romance, chivalry, and the chase. Men feel that since there are plenty of single women out there willing to lower their standards just for the sake of having a warm body lay beside them, that they no longer have to try anymore. Not that you put forth much effort to begin with. Why pursue a woman that you have to work hard to attain when you can have five women ready and willing to “take you down” with little to no effort on your end? Why pursue a woman that holds you up in high regard and standard because she respects you enough to edify you and love you past your flaws, when you can have a woman who couldn’t care less about who you are and is willing to take whatever she can get? This is something you must realize, if a women does not push you past your flaws to motivate you to become someone better, then you can rest assure she has simply lost hope and faith in you and as a result lowered her standards so that you could fit. Sounds harsh, yes, but see it is human nature to evolve. There should never be a time in your life where your today is the same and your yesterday and your yesterday is a reflection of your tomorrow. There is no fulfillment in that, it’s like being a stagnant body of water running nowhere and connecting to nothing. I have seen countless broken hearts and bruised egos due to rejection. People often practice in the art of “Catch and Release” but never stop to think who their actions effect or much rather never stopping to care. Don’t pray for God to send you someone close to perfection just so you can toss them to the side when you get bored or something seemingly shinier and prettier comes along. Grass always seems greener on the other side and most people accept that misconception and end up leaving their 80 for a 20. Are you happy now? It is important that you are TRUTHFUL and upfront in the beginning of a relationship so as to not expect something that the other is unwilling to provide. Too many people allow themselves to date and let a person fall in love with them but then can no longer keep up the false pretences and end up cheating and proving to that person what they knew all along. You know the saying “men/women are all the same”, wrong. They are all every much different. Your issue is you try to make them all the same by changing them into someone that they are not. Don’t fall in love with a hoe in hopes that he will turn into a saint. Don’t marry a promiscuous girl and foolishly believe that you are the ONLY one. I’m not saying people don’t change, because as I said before we should always aspire to be better than our past. But you will know in first meeting someone whether they even have those particular goals in mind. Some people are just set in their ways and have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Those people may change but often times simply don’t want to. When you are afforded with the blessing of that one true love you should cherish that connection. Most people will search their whole lives and never attain that same fulfillment. This often leaves them feeling jaded and discontent. I have often felt that same way. But what are you going to do, run after the man and scream to the top of your lungs “YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE ME!!!”… No you won’t. Reality is that if a person has made it up in their mind to leave nothing you can do or say will make them stay. If the man I am with can be easily distracted by a woman who walks by batting her eye lashes or more abruptly physically throwing herself at him and he concedes to the temptation... I won’t fight for him. Why? He has already made his decision and chosen his next conquest. If you run I won’t chase you. That doesn’t mean that when I told you I loved you I didn’t mean it, it means that I love and respect myself more. It means that I know the difference between real and superficial love. Real love is God because where carnal man’s love ends the love of God intercedes and carries you the rest of the way. So you will never be able to convince me that I will not find a man in this world with the ability to love enough to remain faithful. I know I will find the kind of man that will say to me “She’s not you” because she won’t be me. I want to feel as if to him I am the only woman for him and no matter how hard others come at him he has already made his choice… come what may. A man that finds his wife finds a good thing. I think that we have forgotten that and as a result the chase has been run backwards. The woman has become the aggressor and the man the prey. This often leads to a devoured used vessel that I honestly wouldn’t want anyway. There is no thrill in the chase for me, which is why you’ll run alone. I am in no mood to stroke you or your ego. I’m not going to join you in the land of make believe to be someone that I’m not… That hat doesn’t fit my head and it never will. I cannot take on a persona that was never meant for me. I can’t bend over backwards for someone either undeserving or unappreciative of the gift that I am. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I know how to love and be loved. I know what I deserve and the magnitude of my ability to reciprocate. I appreciate every thought, act, and emotion behind everything done for me from the heart of a man. I understand that life and love is not all roses and that it is what we do during the storm that determines our survival. My life is not a revolving door and I am not built to suit that lifestyle. I know the fruit my tree bears and I also know that if you don’t like the fruit you can precede with your procession past my tree and go find something more to your liking. I know my worth and what I have to bring to the table there fore I won’t chase any man. Because I don’t have to! Catch me if you can. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Christie Mack
From Washington, DC Hampton University class of 2006 Member Since July 2003 |
Comments
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Words cannot express how beautiful and truthful that is. I really liked that, and can relate to that. nice writing!
Wednesday, July 30th 2008 at 10:44PM |
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Thank you!
Thursday, July 31st 2008 at 8:31AM |
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Truly Beautiful!! Please continue to share!
Thursday, July 31st 2008 at 10:36AM |
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