You, Me, and the Other Does Monogamy Matter?
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Posted By: Jehan Bunch on August 20, 2008 Back in the day, Relationships 101 taught us that One Man + One Woman = Happily Ever After. But today, that’s not always the case. It’s the 21st century and many people enter relationships with a squeeze on the side. Has monogamy—the idea of two people being sexually faithful to each other—gone by the wayside? It seems that every time we turn on the news, we hear about a politician or celebrity who has cheated on his or her spouse or partner. Researchers don’t even know for sure how common cheating is. Studies have found that about 25 percent of men and 10–15 percent of women report having had sex with someone other than their spouse at some point in their marriage. This, of course, is only married folks. It doesn’t include those who are dating or who won’t own up to their extracurricular activities. We may never know just how widespread cheating is. Why does monogamy matter? Most American couples say that they value sexual exclusivity. In fact, 80 percent of Americans today say infidelity is “always wrong.” Why? For many people, monogamy is a sign of love and respect. It says, “You are the one for me.” But monogamy also matters because if you don’t know what your partner’s doing (and with whom) it could be a matter of life or death—yours. If your partner has had unprotected sex with someone else even once, he or she could have HIV. And, they could pass it along to you. Sisters, take note. The rate of HIV infection among Black women has risen sharply during the past few years, particularly in the South. The vast majority of Black women living with HIV or AIDS were infected through unprotected sex with men. Think you would know if your partner has HIV? Think again. You can’t tell by looking at someone if they have it. Your partner might not even know it himself. As many as one-fourth of Americans who have HIV don’t have any idea they’re infected. HIV can live in your body for 10 years or more before you show any symptoms. The only way to know for sure if you have HIV is to get tested. What can you do? 1. Talk to your partner. Discuss your expectations about faithfulness and whether this is an exclusive relationship. Learn as much as you can about your partner’s past behavior (sex and injection drug use) and consider the risks to your health before you have sex. Remember, it’s YOUR body. It’s up to you to make sure you’re protected. 2. Find out your partner’s status. Both you and your partner should get tested for HIV, and learn the results, before having sex for the first time. 3. Practice safe sex. Use a latex condom and lubricant every time you have sex. This will help protect you from getting HIV or other sexually transmitted infections. 4. Get tested for HIV. Even if you think you have low risk for HIV infection, get tested whenever you have a regular medical checkup. Value yourself. Value your life. Learn More! More than 1 million Americans are infected with HIV. One-fourth of those who are infected do not know they have it because they have never been tested. There are many ways to get tested: • Ask your doctor or nurse to do the test. • Ask your doctor or nurse where to find a local HIV testing site. • Visit http://www.hivtest.org to find a nearby testing site. • Text your Zip Code to KNOWIT (566948) for a list of HIV testing sites near you. • Call 800-CDC-INFO (232-4636) for HIV testing information and locations. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Jehan Bunch
From Columbus, OH Central State University class of 2005 Member Since January 2006 |
Comments
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good blog!
Wednesday, August 20th 2008 at 5:39PM |
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Great post.
Thursday, August 21st 2008 at 9:16AM |
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Good information...but I believe that there are so many people in denial about HIV and AIDS. I think they don't want to know the truth. Black women are being infected at alarming rates and still are choosing to have unprotected s*x because he doesn't want to use protection. They are so sure that their partner is being true to them. Is a short burst of pleasure worth your life? Do you like yourself so little that you would rather die than not be attached to someone? Again I ask, is a short burst of pleasure worth your life?
Friday, August 22nd 2008 at 7:25PM |
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shouldnt everyone want monogamy?
Friday, August 29th 2008 at 12:15PM |
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I love the post we should all want monogamy but in todays world that is pretty hard to get.
Saturday, August 30th 2008 at 7:38AM |
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